Advice needed from you guys.. help! im so confused

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Hi i need advice from you guys. I am 38 years old high functioning AS. i have been through many relaitonships- mostly bad or abusive with NT men. as a result, i have been looking to meet a man about my age with AS because i think we would understand each other. back in october i joined a local church 'singles' group. i figured if anything, it would get me out of the house once or twice a month, which it did. one meeting in november was games night. i was sitting by myself not quite knowing what to do and getting ready to leave, when a very attractive guy asked me to join him and the others in playing monopoly. he was so kind and patient, and i was looking forward to seeing him again. i did, a month later at the church xmas party. we spoke for 3 hours straight..it was majic. i knew we had something in common but wasnt sure. at the end of the evening i wanted to give him my #, but was too shy. what a mistake! i attended the church group meetings twice a month in the hopes of seeing this man again for four long months.he never showed. i was just about to give up when i attended 'movie night' two weeks ago. The only people who showed up at the theater were me and the gentelman id been waiting months on end to see again! he remembered my name and we purchased tickets and began talking on the way into the movie. then he revealed to me, he had AS! he said he wasnt to proud about it, and i said it was nothing to worry about- i had it too! he looked at me in surprise and smiled. i told him how i had waited 4 months to see him again. by the middle of the movie he had taken and held my hand. i have seen him quite a few times since then and we talk and talk, hold hands and put our heads on each others sholder. we have so much in common it isnt funny. were starting to have feelings for each other. but this is where it gets complicated. .. i have been dating since age 16..thats over 20 years experience with men, i was married and divorced to an abusive man whom i had a 10+year relationship with. this wonderfull kind sweet man with AS has woefull little experience with women allthough he is my age. he admited he is interested in me, and would like for our relationship to progress more in the romantic area once we get to know and care about each other in the future but he really dosent 'know what to do' with a woman. he never had dates in his younger days thus i imagine never got the chanse to learn like i did. i imagine that he may be frightened and inexperienced. this is where i ask you men, what should i do- or not do-? how should i procede? i have never had the experience of meeting an inexperienced man. somone advised me to take things slow. im just so confused and nurvous because i know the time may come months down the road when things may move beyond a simple kiss. i dont want to touch him in a way that would leave him feeling stupid or inadequate or unable to know how to respond in return to my actions. i care about this person alot and am terrified of messing up here. would simple talking to him about 'the birds and the bees' be enough to help him? help. advice please guys..

My advice would be to take things slowly at first, he doesn't have alot of experience with women.

As well I would try and have a lot of communication with him about things he likes and doesn't like, in terms of personal space and other "ahem" topics.

As well he might be willing to learn, so to say.

Just because he doesn't have a lot of experience with women doesn't mean he doesn't want to get intimate sometime.

You just have to take it slowly.

You meet him through a church function,
talk about life love and the sins of sex,
along with the goodness and benefits of abstinence
and the love of god.

thats not very funny i live in a location that has absolutley nothing to do in my area, the 'church' group does not require you to be a bible waver or religous or even a practicing christian for that matter, to join.
hey, it worked didnt it? i met somoene who was like myself.

I wouldn't worry, I think they were just making a joke rather than being serious.
I think it is wonderful you two came together this way...clearly meant to be!
I suggest talking about this with him...afterall, we aspies like honesty and truth, don't we?
Either that, or, if easier, write him a note about it or asking if you can discuss it... Just be open and honest.

hun, I was just kidding, but you may expect possible problems for that reason dealing with that kind of groups of people.

but I do wish you both all the luck and happiness in the world, hope it all works out for you two.

Wow, so lucky. That's just gotta be destiny!

Congratulations!! You guys will be fine!! Just be sure to continue to talk about this issue openly and often, but making it clear to him that there's no pressure. He'll appreciate your honesty, and I don't think he'll be intimidated. If he was easily scared, he wouldn't have already come this far into the relationship! I think things will work out great for you two!! Good luck, and keep us posted!!

basically the only thing that could go wrong i see is that things will go too fast and too sudden for him, he will be overwhelmed and unsure and eventually will not be "working properly". things like that could circle back onto themselves and increase pressure for next time, blocking him again, and so on.

just take things slowly, give him time to become comfortable with every step you both do.

after all, you both have the bonus that you can talk openly to each other. i wish you soooo the best. this is a story like a fairytale come true. (and i silently hope that there are more like you out there)

the guys sound much like me lol just be understanding

Quoted For Truth.

Taking it slow is quite possibly the most important thing you can do in this regard, especially given this guy's apparent lack of practice when it comes to women. If he's anything like me, he'll be very apprehensive about the whole deal, so the best thing you can do is be kind

Thanks for your advice everyone, i appricate them and i think i am mentally and emotionally now up to the challenge of having to be slow and patient. I read your posts and got to thinking about how lucky i was that we met that night and how remarkable it is that he has AS, and that he didnt reject me as NT men have.. ( i think many NT men see an 'easy mark' when they meet an AS girl.i was real naieve back then..hence the reason why i probbly had the chanse to gain all my experience in my youth)
with that in mind i thought of a past time so long ago when i was 16 and knew nothing of men/boys and had no experience. Then i got to digging up long forgoten feelings and memories of high school, hangin out at keg parties on the beach on nights with the other 'misfits' from my school - the loners, 'metal heads' and punks who all seemed to gravitate together.. and memories of that first kiss behind the school- he was the blonde crew cut 'rocker' kid in my social studies class and sat accross from me.i was the gal with the multi color hair and a live rat in my pocket. he came up to me one day during lunch and said: 'would you like to go with me?' and my answer was: 'go where?' (DUH!) i had no idea what he was asking me for- a kiss or a date or what ever. sudelney i was pushed up against the brick wall and he leaned onto me and jammed his tounge into my mouth! i had never been that close to another human being before. i had never felt anyones arms around me before and felt trapped. and EWWww Gross-saliva and a forigen tounge that was not mine! i was shocked and almost choked on it, and didnt find that first kiss experiance too sexy to say the least. a week later when the other kids started to make fun of him for choosing me as a 'girl freind', he abandoned me for someone else. At least during that week he taught me how to kiss, but that was about it. i remembering hearing kids talk about 'the 3 bases' ect. what were they talking about i wondered -baseball? . and looking back and remembeing i can recall i was a tiny bit scared- not of the boy himself, but mostly of the un known, and the newness of it all. So if i can just imagine myself as him, being where i was at age 15- 16, it sort of makes sense. and i think the bonus to taking it slow would be that we would have more time to get to know each other and have a more solid base for a relationship. what i do alone with him eventauly one day may be a positive thing or turn out to be a negative thing and stick gathering dust in his memory for a life time- like that first kiss i got . i hope it works out cause after a life time of emptiness and emotional isolation, i finally believe i met the one that can fill the void.
thanks guys.

That's great news! I think you're gonna be fine together.

do not worry girl, you will be a new mommy before you know it.
things will be fine, just let nature take it's course.