Advice on boyfriends best friend

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So my bf and I were round his best friends house with a few others just hanging out. We had all had a few drinks but my bfs best friend had drunk a bit more than the rest of us.

This guy is usually really sweet and kind, he also cares about my bf a great amount. But that night he acted different.

He was i think flirting with me (I didn't realise till the events after).
Then he started rubbing my leg (I had a dress woth tights on) and telling me how pretty I am.
Then he said I looked tired and that me and him should just got to bed in his room.

My bf didn't notice the attention because we were playing boardgames and were focused. I told him later the events because I didn't understand what they meant and while they were a bit weird I still thought innocently.

My bf was angry and hasn't talked to his best friend for a week. I'm starting to feel really terrible about it and don't know what to do

First and foremost, is your boyfriend aware of your Aspergers?

And second, was he aware when you told him that you wasn't sure what was going on at the time?

If your boyfriend doesn't know you weren't sure what was happening, then I would tell him.

Not sure how you could bring it up without being awkward.

It's just if you weren't clear enough to him that you did not like/not realize what was happening then he might irrationally end up getting angry at both you and his friend.

He may have only expressed his anger towards his friend so far, but he could be worried if he thinks you were aware what was happening, didn't feel uncomfortable, and didn't resist. I suggest you confirm this isn't the case.

Otherwise, once that's all sorted out, I'd just let them two sort it out.

If he's your boyfriend's best friend and not your own, perhaps your boyfriend would be far more better at dealing with the situation because he knows his friend well, and for now just avoid/don't stress or worry about it.

It's important to think about what you want to happen - would you rather just forget it happened and perhaps you and your boyfriend have some distance from the offending friend, or do you actually want a formal apology or something?

And if you feel guilty in anyway, you shouldn't.

You've done absolutely nothing wrong.

Even if you feel you've 'ruined' your boyfriend's friendship by speaking-up, it is your boyfriend's personal choice if he wants to continue speaking to him anymore or not.

You've actually done the right thing, here.

It is not your fault, so don't blame yourself.

The friend would likely have raped you, if given half a chance.

My advice is to stay away from him, since he has no respect for you, your personal boundaries, or your relationship with your boyfriend.

But your being there is not what messed it up, in anyway.

The friend was drunk and probably would have just targeted another woman there he finds even slightly attractive.

I don't understand why so many people seem to lose so much self-control when drunk - it's ridiculous.

While I haven't gotten absolutely smashed, I've had alcohol plenty of times before and felt absolute full and total control of my actions.

Most people who 'lose control' due to alcohol simply lack proper self-control in the first place and use it as an excuse.

People with good self-control simply aren't going to drink drive in the first place.

You're still aware of what you're doing when you're drunk - it's not like your blind to all negative actions you commit and the consequences, and it's not like you can't stop yourself either.

He knew it was wrong, drunk or sober, and did it anyway.

It is obvious that the guy was flirting with you.

He had a little too much to drink--so he acted out of character. Drinking does that to people sometimes.

I don't think the guy would have raped you--but I do think he breached boundaries (probably because of the alcohol).

Being drunk is no excuse for taking liberties in the way the guy took liberties. He has to have restraint in these situations.

I can understand why a man would find you attractive--but he has to channel this in other ways--like masturbation for example. He can't be "trying something" on his best friend's girlfriend.

So you are a worried about his friendship with this scum?

You seem to have a set idea on what you want us to tell you, Alliekit.
So are we advising you at this stage or aiding you in bias confirmation?

Are you worried that it will affect your relationship that it has been pointed out?
It seems to me your good honest nature led you to point out odd signs in this guy's behaviour, and because of the awkwardness of it all you wish you never bothered and are waiting for advice that will psychologically help you and your guy brush this under the carpet.

I'm sorry to say this but life is tough and sometimes you have to see things for what they are. However good this guy has been he did something very inappropriate and put his comfort and desires before you and your bf (his best friend). Maybe it makes it easier for you to justify it because he obviously fancies you (dare I say it, I think even the attention he gives you must be flattering to you), but that doesn't change anything. You're just going to have to accept it happened and let your bf and his friend deal with it.

I'd like to also point out you did the right thing in telling your bf.