Am I going to fast?

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Long post coming. I'll get to the point eventually.

So tonight I messaged a few girls on OKC, some of them responded, some of them didn't. Same as usual. But I messaged this one girl who looks incredible. The sort of girl who's way out of my league. The sort of girl who'd never respond to me.

So you can guess at my surprise when this stunning beauty messaged me back

Now her profile said that she wanted to meet "offline" so I asked her to a particular restaurant. I went to this really nice American themed restaurant for a work thing last night so I suggested that. I wasn't sure if she'd be into that. I thought asking her to a Chinese restaurant but then I thought it would be racist because she's Asian but the last time I dated an Asian girl she actually prefered going to Chinese restaurants

So anyway, she sounded very forward in her profile but as I was chatting to her she sounded kind of shy. Shyness is difficult for me to deal with because I don't know when I'm going too far or too slow. My most recent girlfriend was very eager so that made it less confusing for me.

Anyway, she said she hadn't been there before (is that a bad thing for her?) and asked how much it costs. Of course that doesn't matter. I'm the guy so I should pay right? Paying on a date is my way of looking rich.

She said "I don't know you that well". Now I didn't know if she meant she didn't know me well enough to accept me paying for her meal or if she didn't know me well enough to date me in the first place. But her profile said she wants to meet offline?

So I was just about to ask for clarification when she asked if I can fix her cracked iPhone screen. Of course I can. She said she'd buy a screen. I said I could buy the screen if she just gave me the $90 for it. She said that was fine. She seemed to like this because the DIY job is cheaper than getting it done at the Apple Store.

She gave me her number. Great! I had the number of a pretty girl. I wasn't sure if I should text her or just put my number in the OKC chat. I went with the latter.

No response. I thought maybe she wanted to get my number from being texted. So later I texted her. Much later she responded with "OK, I get it".

This made me feel bad, like I was being too pushy. I don't want to talk about that American themed restaurant I suggested we go to because maybe that's too pushy and she wants to get to know me before / if we start dating.

I did not respond to the text. She said she'd go to the Apple Store to ask them and then maybe later get back to me. Because I had her phone number I was able to find her profile on Facebook. I decided not to send her a friend request because I thought she would find her creepy.

So was I going to fast for her? Was I being too pushy? How can I remedy this? How should I proceed from here?

Ask her if you are going "too fast." If she's a sensible girl, she'll give a sensible answer.

If she says that you are, just tell her that you'll go "slower" from here on in.

I dunno, only you can tell.... fasting according to which faith? Or is a fasting for some cause?

I don't think she subscribes to any religious faith. I just don't want to scare her away.

You might have a good point Krafty. ExGF kept on telling me I should ask her about stuff and talk about stuff openly but I didn't because I felt like I was just supposed to know stuff by working it out. I felt like it's unromantic to not know what a girl is thinking. ExGF disagreed. Maybe she was right.

What happened with your girlfriend?

Or you could try doing absolutely nothing for at least a week maybe more, it seems crazy but it's just something you have to do

I would ask her if you're "going too fast."

Most girls, in my experience, don't mind that question.

Especially girls who are sensible, and are into non game-playing relationships.

You mean by fasting too much you might get too bony and scare her away?

Don't fast too much.


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Seriously tho, I think you are going on a right pace, don't add her on fb yet, don't text her much but...I have to note on that:



No, you should not be the one to pay unless you are inviting her, the inviting person pays the meal of the invitee, but not in every date there's an inviting/invitee, sometimes the guy/girl are like "let's meet there", when you suggest to a friend "let's eat X in Y" it doesn't mean you are inviting him, right? ....so there's no inviting and invitee here, so each should pay for their meal.

And the fact she asked about the cost means she's considerate....or at least not old fashioned in those matters.

This is a very inappropriate thing for someone you've just met to ask. It's a big RED FLAG that this person is a scammer. The profile picture is probably fake - it may not even be a girl.

Not being funny, but those profiles are usually fake, ran by scammers who strike up a relationship and eventually start asking for money.


It's a scammer, walk away from this one. Today it's an iPhone screen, tomorrow she needs $5000 to get her mum a life-saving operation.


She doesn't want to meet because she is probably in Nigeria, or Pakistan, or some other country where these scams are a way of making a living. If you want to date online you need to up your game.

did you check the picture she uses on Google search (for pictures)? sometimes there it shows that it's fake. But if she has FB it might be that it's true

Oh damn, I missed the iphone screen part.

Retro, this one is a scam, block it.

She dumped me.

It's weird that she said it openly like that. She should've simply mentioned that her iphone broke and how it's so expensive to fix it and how little money she has and how her phone is important to her. If she's a scammer, she's not a good one.

Some scammers play the 'damsel in distress' knowing that some guys would fall for it.