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The dating game or straight forward communication

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MsGreen
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10 May 2016, 1:40 pm

So there is this guy... I will save you from all the boring details and go pretty straight to the question.
He is kind of cute. I think he MAYBE knows I like him a little bit. I've been told he probably thinks I'm kind of cute.
We've been on something that MAYBE was a date. This is going really slow but it never really ends or begins.
Whenever we meet it's pretty awkward cause I don't know if he wants me as friend or date...
Also I'd rather get to know him before going on to actual dating.
You hear, lots of confusion and nonverbal freaky conversation going on... I don't want to lead him on to something too fast by accident or hurt his feelings by sending wrong signals.
Is it too early to just sit down and really honestly tell him what I think and feel? (Or will this break any "romantic magic"? If that even exists.)



kraftiekortie
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10 May 2016, 1:51 pm

I would tell him that you would like to get to know him a little better.



MsGreen
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10 May 2016, 2:56 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would tell him that you would like to get to know him a little better.


But in what way? Should I just say I want to get to know him better or should I specify why and what I feel for him? :?



kraftiekortie
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10 May 2016, 4:47 pm

Tell him that you feel comfortable with him when you hang out with him, and feel inspired to get to know him better as a result.



hurtloam
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10 May 2016, 5:27 pm

"I want to get to know you better" is a euphemism for "I want to date you, but I don't want to say I want to date you" most people know what it means, you don't need to specify why.



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 May 2016, 5:42 pm

Yeah, you wouldn't say that to a person you just see as potential friend, don't you?

Her: Hi....I want to get to know you better
Him: Oh...you asking me out for a date? Cool, yes! :D
Her: Huh? No! I just see you as a friend, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!


^ that doesn't happen in real life.



Gematron
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10 May 2016, 8:18 pm

MsGreen wrote:
So there is this guy... I will save you from all the boring details and go pretty straight to the question.
He is kind of cute. I think he MAYBE knows I like him a little bit. I've been told he probably thinks I'm kind of cute.
We've been on something that MAYBE was a date. This is going really slow but it never really ends or begins.
Whenever we meet it's pretty awkward cause I don't know if he wants me as friend or date...
Also I'd rather get to know him before going on to actual dating.
You hear, lots of confusion and nonverbal freaky conversation going on... I don't want to lead him on to something too fast by accident or hurt his feelings by sending wrong signals.
Is it too early to just sit down and really honestly tell him what I think and feel? (Or will this break any "romantic magic"? If that even exists.)


I can only speak for myself and for some of my guy friends that I personally know (they aren't Aspies) but hell no it's never too early! I definitely wouldn't mind if a girl told me she was into early in the dating game. Reason being is that I can stop playing the guessing game. Now that I know she LIKES me I can actually be more confident especially when we go out and I can be more flirty or express my feelings to her instead of the whole thinking "does she like me? I really want to do this with her or tell her this but what if she only see's me as a friend and now everything is ruin because of my action." I hope that makes sense and once again this is how I feel as well as some of my friends.



MsGreen
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11 May 2016, 5:36 am

hurtloam wrote:
"I want to get to know you better" is a euphemism for "I want to date you, but I don't want to say I want to date you" most people know what it means, you don't need to specify why.


Thank you very much, I had no idea! But would it be awkward to say it in a more straight forward way? He might not need the straight forwardness, but for me it would be good...



MsGreen
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11 May 2016, 5:39 am

Gematron wrote:
MsGreen wrote:
So there is this guy... I will save you from all the boring details and go pretty straight to the question.
He is kind of cute. I think he MAYBE knows I like him a little bit. I've been told he probably thinks I'm kind of cute.
We've been on something that MAYBE was a date. This is going really slow but it never really ends or begins.
Whenever we meet it's pretty awkward cause I don't know if he wants me as friend or date...
Also I'd rather get to know him before going on to actual dating.
You hear, lots of confusion and nonverbal freaky conversation going on... I don't want to lead him on to something too fast by accident or hurt his feelings by sending wrong signals.
Is it too early to just sit down and really honestly tell him what I think and feel? (Or will this break any "romantic magic"? If that even exists.)


I can only speak for myself and for some of my guy friends that I personally know (they aren't Aspies) but hell no it's never too early! I definitely wouldn't mind if a girl told me she was into early in the dating game. Reason being is that I can stop playing the guessing game. Now that I know she LIKES me I can actually be more confident especially when we go out and I can be more flirty or express my feelings to her instead of the whole thinking "does she like me? I really want to do this with her or tell her this but what if she only see's me as a friend and now everything is ruin because of my action." I hope that makes sense and once again this is how I feel as well as some of my friends.


Glad to hear that not everyone likes playing the dating game...



kraftiekortie
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11 May 2016, 5:42 am

I don't like playing the "Dating Game," either (even though I liked the TV show back in the 1960s-1970s).