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I am really at my lowest point right now.
I signed up to join a club at my College back in September. I went to the club meeting and met this girl there. She was very nice and made me feel at home immediately. after a semester working with her I realized I was in love with her. During this past semester we continued to work together and I planned to ask her out on the final day of the club. When that day came I asked her if we can meet up somewhere, she agreed. I didn't say I loved her or anything. Then on Monday Night I tried to discuss meeting plans and she said she was still interested. I almost told her at the end of the night but decided against it. We said goodbye and hugged and I thought things would be fine. Fast forward to last night I check her facebook page and it turns out she started a relationship with someone else the very next day. I am feeling really angry at myself right now and have spent the day beating myself up over it. I am in a rut right now and am contemplating not even going back to college because it would be too painful. What should I do?

Sorry to hear that I've had nothing but horrible experiences come out of my search for love at college, so I probably have a cynical perspective on this. I think you have two options here: either wait for her to become single again, or move on and look for someone else. I suggest the latter. Obsession with people, especially those who I'm romantically attracted to, is an issue of mine, and I assume with you as well. Developing the ability to call it quits and start fresh with someone else is an essential skill when looking for romantic partners, and I suggest you try to obtain this skill.

The only problem is prior to this I only had 1 crush in High School who broke my heart. I really don't want to wait another 11+ Years before I find someone again.

I've had my heart broken multiple times this year, by girls who I mostly hadn't even gone on a date with. Guess how many girls I've asked out this year? 6. And guess how many dates I got? 0. The responses ranged from "let's be friends" to "I don't have time" to "I don't want to." My point is you have to learn to roll with the punches, and call b*^%$# what they are, accept that there are those types of people, and move on. It sounds like this girl you're talking about either doesn't care about you, or didn't realize you had feelings for her. If you want to pursue a friendship with her, go ahead, but otherwise steer clear.

I have no doubt she cares about me. It's probably the second thing. I thought I gave hints but I was too scared to actually say it until the time was right and when the time was right my nerves failed me.

Then be her friend, but don't expect anything else. That way, if she does break up with whomever she's with right now, you'll be in a better position to express your feelings for her. And don't show romantic feelings until she's over whatever guy it is she likes right now, because that will ruin everything.

muffinhead, I like the way ya think mate.

OP, this is only your second rejection and thus you have not experienced it much before.

I know it may feel hard at first, but eventually you will get use to rejection and it won't hurt as much the more it happens.

Of course, sometimes too much rejection will make you feel unattractive and inadeqeute, but you've got to keep your chin up, remain confident and have a good self-esteem.

A lot of the time you've got to remind yourself it is almost NEVER your fault. If a woman is not attracted to you, she simply is not attracted to you and there is not much, if anything at all, you can do to change that.

Half the time they'll probably have a boyfriend anyway and possibly would have given you a chance if they didn't. Maybe they're gay (lesbian women aren't always obvious) or asexual (very had to tell).

I have suffered a total of about 40 rejections both online and offline (mostly offline too, mind you) and have learnt from this trial and error.

Last year I managed to get my first two girlfriends ever and had a total of 7 rejections or failures of some kind including both the girlfriends as they initiated the break-ups.

And with this girl, she probably did know you were attracted to her but had some thing going on with this other guy at the time.

It is perfectly possible (and not at all wrong) to date more than one person at a time.

Date as in go on dates with, but not be in a relationship yet.

That's life...

I understand that but I have only been attracted to Two Women in my entire life.(At least that I have actually known.) The first one when I was 15 in High School and this one at age 26 in college. I really am afraid that I will be in my late 30's when lightning strikes again if ever.
I have tried online dating with no success.

Proceed to seduce her anyway and get her to have an affair with you. From my own womanising experiences 80% of women in relationships can be seduced into having affairs. Otherwise you will just have to force yourself to replace any thoughts of the reasons that you may have wanted to be with her, instead into only thinking of the reasons why she is not worthy of having you, and convince yourself that there are much more deserving women who are a lot better than her, whom you should be actively seeking out instead.

Hey, wait a minute, your two women were also at the same ages of my two, too !
(I was also a virgin-by-choice up until after the age of 26 by the way)

Alright, I will first read everyone else's responses, then decide if I have anything further to say.

Alright, decided what I am going to say, and that is simply to develop your Confidence-Levels.

Also, for a good increase to your success with the opposite sex, you need to follow my instructions as follows...:

1) Each and every single day, when you wake up in the morning, grab a couple of dumbells (5 or 10 lbs ea).
2) Holding said dumbells, you find somewhere with flights of stairs, and run up and down those stairs as many times as your muscles can handle, all the way to the point of where you feel too sore to continue running.

This is all you need to do to generate massive amounts of pheromones that make the ladies come to YOU. Make sure you do this exercise every day. Also do it again in the evening before you go to sleep but you might need to shower afterwards right before going to bed (due to the sweat that you might otherwise get all over your sheets/clothes/etc). I got plenty of experience, with accurate knowledge, and it is up to you to heed my advice to put my information to the test to see if you get the results that I say you will if you follow these instructions, otherwise you can dismiss me as a Lunatic Tin-Foil Hat-Wearing Conspiracy Theorist Nutter (because I am one), and forever reject the idea of consistently generating lady-attracting scent without ever actually having tested it for yourself.

I agree about the pheremone part, specifically that male sweat does indeed supposed to attract women due to the pheremones.

However the studies also consistently show it works only for males that are physically attractive, and women can actually guess a males physical attractiveness level by his body odor.

And, if you're suggesting the OP also exercise, that is not the right way to go about it.

It's about healthy dieting and training, especially targeting all major muscle groups including the leg muscles.

Too many young men will bulk-up their bodies on unhealthy foods, and do not train their leg muscles making their upper bodies quite strong but having pathetic chicken legs.

Also, many may only train their Bicep muscles of the arm and not their triceps, many may not train back or abs. Many may only focus on chest and arms, and this is a terrible method of training as your body will be disproportionate and unattractive.

Studies ? I am just speaking from Personal-Experience.
Can you refer me to the "studies" that I can perhaps try to read through for myself ?

The type of exercise I described is exactly what I did to get exactly the results that I am basically revealing as a "free gift" that I could otherwise have just kept such information to myself. Also, this particular exercise covers both the arms and the legs, due to carrying of dumbells, and the running, plus the cardiovascular. For as far as physique goes, females are actually most-attracted to abs, and he can do that if he wants (tons of crunches/sit-ups/etc), but I am keeping the fitness-routine simple for just running. A well-toned body, such as from swimming, running, etc., does attract ladies in terms of physique. Anything else beyond that is his decision to take to next levels like you would in Traditional Chinese Martial Art. I also could go over exactly what to eat or avoid eating but going to that extent is actually going rather beyond the scope what I chose to keep simple.

And it is in my experiences that those body types you speak of can be gained naturally as well as through a strict diet and training regimen.

If anything muscle gained through diet and training will be achievable in less time than naturally, and even then trying to gain muscle naturally may result in disproportionate physique.

As someone with an actual swimmer's body, I achieved said physique through eating healthy diet heavy in macro and micronutrient content such as Protein, Fats, Carbohydrates, Vitamins and Minerals, and are in a slight calorie surplus, I achieved it through 3-4 days weight resistance training weekly along with a high-intensity 1-2 hour swimming session one day a week. Swimmers tend to have strong back, lat and shoulder muscles, so I placed particular emphasis on these muscle groups.

I have a physique now similar to a young Michael Phelps., but of course height, body fat level and genetic differences must be taken into account, so of course I will look different. But my actual muscle composition and levels are similar and his physique is where I see myself by age 20. My height is shorter, body fat higher and my genetics are different obviously, but I am as close as I can possibe be at the moment.

https://www.google.com.au/search?q=mich ... kQ_AUIBigB

Muscle can only be gained when one is eating in a calorie surplus, unless it is in the first 6 months of training.

Within the first 6 months muscle gains are extremely fast as the body has never been exposed to such resistance.

After this diet and proper training and rest is essential for optimal progress.

"A common goal for strength-training programs is to increase or to maintain one's physical strength or muscle mass. In order to achieve more strength, as opposed to maintaining current strength capacity, muscles (see skeletal muscles) need to be stressed in such a way that triggers the body's natural, adaptive response to new demands placed on it.

Progressive overload not only stimulates muscle hypertrophy, but it also stimulates the development of stronger and denser bones, ligaments, tendons and cartilage. Progressive overload also incrementally increases blood flow to exercised regions of the body and stimulates more responsive nerve connections between the brain and the muscles involved.

Conversely, decreased use of the muscle results in incremental loss of mass and strength, known as muscular atrophy (see atrophy and muscle atrophy). Sedentary people often lose a pound or more of muscle annually.

The loss of 10 pounds of muscle per decade is one consequence of a sedentary lifestyle. The adaptive processes of the human body will only respond if continually called upon to exert greater force to meet higher physiological demands.[2]
"

"An excess of training stimuli can lead to the problem of overtraining.[4] Overtraining is the decline in training performance over the course of a training program, often increasing the risk of illness or injury or decreased desire to exercise. In order to help avoid this problem, the technique of periodization is applied. Periodization in the context of fitness or strength training programs is the scheduling of provisions for adequate recovery time between training sessions, variety over the course of a long-term program and motivation - avoiding monotony when repeating identical exercise routines."

Sources: Optimizing Strength Training https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=cLz ... ed&f=false

American College of Sports Medicine position stand. Progression models in resistance training for healthy adults. Med Sci Sports Exerc. 34(2):364-80, 2002 Feb, PMID 11828249. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/118 ... t=Abstract

"For developing endurance, gradual increases in volume and gradual decreases in intensity is the most effective program.[19][20] Sets of thirteen to twenty repetitions develop anaerobic endurance, with some increases to muscle size and limited impact on strength.[21]

It has been shown that for beginners, multiple-set training offers minimal benefits over single-set training with respect to either strength gain or muscle mass increase, but for the experienced athlete multiple-set systems are required for optimal progress.[21][22][23] However, one study shows that for leg muscles, three sets are more effective than one set.[24]

Beginning weight-trainers are in the process of training the neurological aspects of strength, the ability of the brain to generate a rate of neuronal action potentials that will produce a muscular contraction that is close to the maximum of the muscle's potential."

Sources: http://www.fiterati.co/exercising-enoug ... se-weight/

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifes ... q-20058232

"It is widely accepted that strength training must be matched by changes in diet in order to be effective. Although aerobic exercise has been proven to have an effect on the dietary intake of macronutrients, strength training has not [41] and an increase in dietary protein is generally believed to be required for building skeletal muscle with popular sources advising weight trainers to consume a high-protein diet with from 1.4 to 1.8 g of protein per kg of body weight per day (0.6 to 0.8 g per pound).[42] An adequate supply of carbohydrates (5–7 g per kg) is also needed as a source of energy and for the body to restore glycogen levels in muscles."

Sources: "Calories for weight gain: "Nutrition for muscle builders"". The Physician and Sportsmedicine 25 (8): 145–146. 1997.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3905295/

"For as far as physique goes, females are actually most-attracted to abs, and he can do that if he wants (tons of crunches/sit-ups/etc),"

Visible abs is caused by having a body fat of 8% or less. You could never train abs a day in your life but if you're skinny enough they'll be visible.

Of course, actually training your abs to give them strength makes them look a million times better, but it's actually unnecessary.

Just losing some body fat while mantaining muscle is the key.

I'm not saying you're wrong or anything. That exercise you speak-of is a simple way to get naturally more fit.

I just don't believe it's an ideal method.

"A well-toned body, such as from swimming, running, etc., does attract ladies in terms of physique."

Agreed, but I simply think he's wasting his time if he makes no changes to diet whatsoever, or doesn't even do your recommended exercise properly.

He'd cut his time in half if he eats proper nutrition and eats in a calorie surplus to ensure the body has the energy to actually create new muscle, and properly trains his entire body. Simply carrying dumbells up and down stairs quickly does not properly train abs, back, chest, triceps. Just Biceps and Legs, really. If he wants a proportionate and attractive figure, it would be better if he did isolation training for each muscle group.

In short: Want muscle OP? Subscribe to bodybuilding.com (doesn't mean you have to be a bodybuilder, but it's probably the best source for accurate information) and start hitting the gym.