Am I doing the right thing?

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So three months ago, my best friend and I started considering dating. I was enthusiastic for the first couple of weeks but once it became clear she really liked me I got a bit scared and haven't really wanted to date her since. We now technically ARE dating, and she has very low self esteem, anxiety, and an eating disorder so there's quite a bit of pressure on me. I feel if I tell her I don't want to date her she'll feel it's because she's 'ugly' or 'fat' or 'boring' or all these other things she's always saying she is and she'll get even unhealthier. The thing is, it really isn't her; I think it's got a lot to do with the fact I've realized I feel hardly any sexual attraction or romantic attraction which I want to act on. (People will probably be picking up on the same-sex aspect so I should clarify I'm more attracted to women than men). I don't know if the right thing to do is tell her or not. If I do, not only will her self esteem worsen but we're both writing exams so she'll possibly do worse in those. She's also the only person I feel comfortable talking to. So basically there's A LOT at stake and I really have no idea...do you all have any advice?

It sounds like you don't really want to stop dating her, you are just having anxiety adjusting to what, quite honestly, is a big life change. There is nothing wrong with you being nervous at this point. That is normal. What I recommend you do is talk to her about your anxieties and tell her that you want to take things slowly. Rather than saying you "don't want to date her," ask her to help you get over the difficult parts. That way you are involving her and showing trust in her without taking the relationship faster than you feel ready for.

I also recommend you hold off on any physical aspects until (and unless) you both feel you're ready. Physical love is wired directly into the emotional centers of our brains, and it will get inside your defenses whether you like it or not. And often in ways you don't expect. There is no rush, and moving too quickly on this has damaged a lot of relationships.