How to tell if teen boys are interested in you?

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I'm a 17 year old Aspie girl. I have feelings for boys and girls, almost totally boys though. So they are who I imagine I will date in the future.

I often misread signals from boys and freak them out by making a move or staring at them. (Wasn't that flirting? The internet said it was flirting.)

So, if a boy likes you, how can you tell? Even if he is not flirting with you. Can you tell if he's attracted to you by his body language? I try to act disinterested in boys in the hall, etc, so as to not freak them out, but I do talk to them, I'm not totally aloof.

You ask him, and he tells you.

Simple.

If they act like they hate you, it means that they really like you.
Unless, of course, they really do hate you.

That's PUA methodology. It's called "Negging", and it's purpose is to break down a woman's defenses so that the PUA can take advantage of her.

When I'm interested in a girl I usually do what you do and try desperately to figure out how to hint it to her while engaging in occasional conversations with them and trying not to freak them out until I can figure something out. I'm not at all normal though. In the case of the one girl that I dated I just decided to be direct.

I have no way to definitively confirm or deny this at the moment, but I do believe that if someone goes out of their way to say hi to you and start conversations with you then it might mean that they are interested in a relationship or at least a friendship. That's what I have been going off of and I don't know exactly how accurate it is. I assume it's the same or at least similar in this respect between girls and boys.

Mikeman is correct.

For both males and females they'll just try to talk to you as often as possible.

Even if they're shy they may still make a stronger effort than before to be social to you.

I will describe everything I did with each crush last year:

1. As she was a published writer, I asked if she could critic and give feedback for my draft for my sci-fi story.

As this happened I also got to know her casually before asking her out to coffee (but she didn't realize it was a date...yep, she was an aspie girl herself...) We ended up going 2 times to the same place, and the third date was at the movies when she rejected me.

I got to know her at school as often as I could.

2. Tried talking to her in class a lot, work with her in pairs (this was drama/acting class so that came up a lot) and asked if she could give feedback on my music (as she was also a musician) as an icebreaker...Didn't work...

3. She liked me back, so she helped kickstart things. Approached me when and walked with me as we had the same class, started sitting next to me from that point-on. I tried chatting and...'flirting' as much as possible. Never really got the confidence to ask her out and she ended up suddenly leaving school. We have since become friends and have been talking online.

4. She was a part of the same group of friends, so I simply spent as much time around her as possible, subtly 'flirted' if you can even call it that, and otherwise just had fun spending time with her. We both developed feelings and dated. It was an awful relationship.

5. Again, hung out with her at lunch fairly often and tried getting to know her and getting her contact details. Bah, another failure.

6. Saw her, thought she was cute after talking briefly, asked for her contact details, met-up for a first date, instantly hit it off. It was a good relationship, but short-lived and I was once again dumped quite suddenly.

So, don't just look out for a guy trying to chat and get to know you, look out for a guy using 'icebreakers' to find excuses to talk to you as well.

Body language!

When a human of any gender is interested in another human, their pupils will enlarge when they are looking at that individual. It's very romantic, actually, the pupils widening to let in more light so one can literally take in more of the person they like looking at [allowing more light to hit the rods and cones in the eye gives a more vivid picture - that's why we see better in light].
So, if you watch a boy's eyes when they move to looking at you, if there is the briefest of pauses and they they widen, it is very likely he is enjoying what he's seeing.

Also watch for oral movements - licking/biting his laps, or pressing them together more than usual. Those can indicate he is thinking about using his lips on you (at least indirectly thinking about, by being in a state of attracted).

When staring at boys, remember to drop your eyes and look up from under your lashes (see: any Disney movie - Ariel especially was good at this iirc) every 7-10 seconds. It breaks that stare and sends this "overwhelmed by how attractive and awesome you are" message.
If you get really good at that, you can get people to walk across a room to approach you with it

So that girl in middle/high school was a pua

Hmm

Have you considered dating a boy with aspergers or who is socially awkward. I think you'd be more compatible with someone like that.

I'd prefer a guy who complemented me, never been into socially awkward guys.

As an 18 year old male I'll offer a few signs from my high school days when I was interested. Firstly, they may glance at you when they think you aren't looking, then when you look at them they shift their gaze. Sometimes a smile happens as well, often subsconsciously.

Another thing is that they find opportunities to talk to you about anything - even small talk. They may try to get involved in group work with you, for example, or walk with you after class for example. They may even try cracking jokes to make you laugh - no matter how bad. It's the effort that matters in that respect (unless they are genuinely offensive)

Firstly, there may even be rare instances of physical contact. As in, brushing lightly against you while walking past you, for example. I think it's meant to create some sort of buzz in the other person when this happens. As you're on the spectrum you may not like this though and if you ask them to stop and they really respected you, they would do that. It would be a good friendship test in a way.

Then there's the flirting when it becomes obvious...but I'm really not an expert on that so I can't advise you on. Sorry. I hope this helps, good luck ^^

Shots fired...

Like another user said, body language is a big indicator.

But I know less of male body language than female, but there's a few I know:

1. Feet. Try to look at their feet and see which direction they're pointing. People tend to not focus on where their feet are, meaning their feet will point to someone they're attracted to.

2. Eyes. The pupils will dilate and look bigger and more pronounced.

3. Males voices tend to deepen slightly when they speak to a female they're attracted to, and vice-versa - women's voices become slightly higher-pitched.

4. Men tend to take up more 'powerful' poses more often, e.g. chest slightly out more, arms more open and taking up more space, to appear more 'confident' and attractive.

5. Physical proximity. Both males and females may be more comfortable with being closer than usual to another person.

It's fine.

I struggle to be attracted to or even just friends with introverts.

I'm an ambi-vert/an in-between point between intro- and extra-, and find being with the extreme end's of either to be a real chore.

The introverts I am friends with always just want to sit around at home doing things.

While I enjoy video games and such, I'm more outgoing then that and like to hit the town a bit more.

But this leaves almost all of the responsibility and effort of arranging things on me, and even then my introverted friends are really pushing themselves out of their comfort zone to come with or sometimes not at all.

When I lived near my ambiverted friends before moving away, we had a nice balance of hanging out at home and going out, and it honestly felt much better and harmonious.

We were not too outgoing nor too indoorsy...

Extreme extraverts, on the other hand, I haven't been friends with any but I assume they'd tire me out and be too much work to always be going out with and hitting the town with.

Where am I going with this?

Well, it seems unfortunately both aspie males and females seem more likely than the average person to actually be introverts and otherwise derive most of their pleasure from indoor activities.

I already get pissed enough with my friends.

I want my friends to be just as eager to go on adventures as I am, not just dragging the dead-weight along for the ride because I don't want to do everything solo, so I require the same in a girl.

The N.T. girl I like right now is either extraverted or ambi-verted like I am, and I love it. She's not shy or quiet but fairly social, confident and charismatic but is actually my equal in all 3...

Indeed.

I think I am somewhere in the middle as well, but I can't tell if I am really introverted or if I am just insecure with my social skills.

I am pretty good socially, but still odd to most.

Like I said, I admire outgoing behavior. So, the outgoing boys tend to be NT.

I question whether I'm an introvert sometimes but that's only because I don't like doing things outside of the house solo and have no reason to.

I have agoraphobia and a fear of leaving the house alone but if I go somewhere with friends I'm just fine and enjoy it.

So I spend most of my time indoors not by choice. Simply because I don't have anyone to really go out with much, and no reasons to go out.

With regards to social skills, I can be confident and charismatic and such in social situations, it's just when I spend a long time without any sort of practice for my social skills I end up coming across as shy and timid when I'm just 'rusty' at playing the part and being more outgoing.

So I deal with the same thing - social skill problems that make me question if I'm shy but truly, I'm not shy but 'quiet'.

It's all the asperger's job that just makes me a bit timid and anxiety in some situations.

Otherwise I'm not shy or introverted.

I don't relate at all to other shy or introverted people.

The whole 'I prefer solitude, peace and quiet, I hate parties, I don't like hanging out with people on the weekend lol I just like to spend my friday nights watching Netflix, what my friends don't understand is I need to 'recharge'," etc. attitude. I almost entirely disagree with it.

I see all this self-depreciating humor introverts use and find it extremely obnoxious and annoying.

Yeah, I also think that extroverts have a certain self-confidence that allows them to do ridiculous, funny things that others find hilarious, while "weird" people may do the same things and be ridiculed.

I only say this because I know "weird" kids who've tried "extroverted" behavior and been ridiculed. So if I came to school acting like the extroverts I know, I may just get laughed at more. :/

It's not like my autism seeps through every interaction I have with people. It's gradual, but after one conversation, people will think I'm odd... Unless they're adults, I have an oddly easy time interacting with them.

Ambiversion isn't covered much by media... I think it's hard to define. So you like specific social situations and can be "rusty", other people like being around people but not talking to them, other people like being around people only if they can talk to them, other people only like talking about certain things... For me, I get tired out if I spend too much time alone or if I'm with other people for too long. Also, it's incredibly sad for me to have to sit around other people but be an outsider nonetheless. So about two thirds of the time, I just go off on my own.

I had a mental breakdown when I spent a week without talking to any friends, but then when I had to spend practically all my time with some friends at a lock-in, I had a panic attack and was almost sick.

I would agree with you that I like social contact if I can get a good feel for what they want me to say. Going out with someone and not alone also sounds best. I can go out alone, but I also like going on car rides more than actually being out, so... it's more about that.