I never actually enjoy being in a relationship.

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I am not asexual. If anything, my sex drive is too high. I also very much want to one day have a wife and kids, and I really like the idea of being in a relationship, but I never really enjoy being in one. I'll be turning 28 this summer, and despite being told many times I'm very good looking and not being all that socially awkward (I'm a mild case of AS), the longest relationship I've ever been in is 9 months, and I've been single much more than I've been in any real relationship. I've dated a TON over the last 1.5 years, but nothing ever really sticks. I don't actually like most people, and I've ended almost every relationship I've been in. Even this last one, which was really good overall, I ended basically just because I would rather spend time alone doing my own thing. The best relationship I've ever been in wasn't even a relationship at all; it was a very close friendship with a girl I lived with. We could hang out, talk, laugh together and whatnot, but because we weren't actually together or being intimate, there was no real expectation, and emotions rarely ran high.

Anyway, I'm writing here because advice I see over and over is that even when ASD folks think they don't want/need a partner, they really are better off with one. People both on and off the spectrum say this, and even I know it to be true in my case... I guess what I don't like about being in a relationship is the amount of social interaction that is expected of me. I sometimes think the only kind of person who would ever understand would be someone with ASD herself, but I don't think pairing myself with another person on the spectrum would make for the best parenting team as our many of our weaknesses would likely overlap.

I guess I'm rambling.

Thoughts?

Have you ever been in love ? Or at least had a crush ?

I wrote a post a while back about what I coined "Lower Dependency Relationships".

You sound like you fit into that ideal.

Since you're a "mild case" I assume you don't have a lot of weaknesses? You don't like small talk so maybe an Aspie is best for you or an NT with similar interests as yourself so then you would be more into communicating more (or less with another Aspie).

I don't know I'd this is the same but when I was dating people or talking to them I often grew distant after a month or 2 and became uninterested. It didnt matter how nice and great they were I just became bored quickly or disillusioned with them.

I would suggest you either haven't found the right long term partner or perhaps like myself after a few months you realise that people aren't as amazing as you thought and you don't want to get trapped with someone. In that respect I had to remind myself that I'm also flawed and that I needed to find someone who's flaws I can accept

Also I wouldn't limit yourself to aspies or NTS . There are so many different types of people in both groups that could work for yoou.

Finally you gotta stop dating people you don't like. It's never gunna work Id you date them for the sake of dating. Not fair on the people you date either

i have never been in a relationship really. it is all about me in my mind. they can hang out with me for as long as they are interested, but when they get bored they are free to go home.