I'm 24/m. My very close friend was nearly twice my age. I lived in her house for a month and then we had to go our separate ways. She had a demanding freelance career, and a conservative family that could never find out about our relationship. We both did this arrangement mainly for the sex. She was my first. I fell in love with her (she was a very close friend of mine for years), but she took pride in keeping our little affair short. We still talk, but it's just not the same. I regret not being better in bed, but it was my first time (you live and learn, I guess).
A year later, I'm shooken up. I haven't dated much. I don't have much of a social life to meet women from. There's lots of girls on the campus, but many of them look busy and I'd feel awkward going up to them. Online dating apps were dead ends. I gained some weight (atop of already being overweight), and I feel a lack of confidence.
I want nothing more than a woman who can relate to me and share a strong high-energy intimate bond. It's not even about sex. It's about just having someone by your side to get rid of the unease. I can't stop thinking about that every day. I'm shaken up.