Is this why we are undatable?

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Do you think a lot of NTs don't want to date us aspies because we look a little different in appearance from them?





The guy in this video explains how we look different

Aspies DON'T look different than "normal" people. They might dress differently, though.

I'm on the Spectrum, and I'm datable.

So are many other Aspies.

"We"?

I don't have any problems with looks. I just don't care about how i look 90% of the time or dress, most of us are very pragmatic individuals who dress functionally. There are some exceptions i've seen here on WP that care A LOT about their appearance, but this is something i've noticed.

I've been on several dates and i've recently been stalked (in a good way) last sunday when i was purchasing food for the national holiday, a platina-blonde 30 something girl obviously followed me (I'm 43 but look younger) around the supermarket. While it is statistically possible that she were shopping for the exact same things, it is also highly unlikely.

Like Kraftie, i'm also definitly dateable. I just chose not to date at this point because it is so hard to find someone, even in the city on the planet with the most singles per capita in the world (Stockholm).

A good portion of my life I was always fashionable and well dressed.
Aside from walk and move a bit funny or avoid some eye contact I looked very normal to people on the surface.
But I made up for that and when I was younger had one hell of a time partying, went on lots of dates had girlfriends and all the rest.

I unfortunately can't say the same about myself now but I have literally hit rock-bottom in the last year. It would be unreasonable to compare because if I get back into higher paid work, have time to maintain my personal life etc. the former would be the case all over again. But I digress.

It's all about how we carry ourselves as __people__
When we start believing we're less than a person, we show it and people believe it, too.
That (at least on a surface level) affects your chances of finding a date a lot, because I certainly had a lot of issues when I was younger but because I looked nice, was well dressed, "appeared" to be normal the girls didn't seem to care so much. Alas, first impressions make an impact and so tying in with that if you're not a number of shallow tick-boxes on first impressions that also affects your datability.

I can't say I agree entirely with the Youtube in that video. I can see some of the obstacles he's on about but ultimately they have gone from mere belief into manifestation.

This is rather stereotypical way of thing to say.

Aspies do not have genetic appearances. They have genetic brain functioning. We may dress differently, but that is not a primary case. Our behaviour looks different. That is the common sense.

I dress conservative, because it makes me feel good about myself. I seen people at the university who are also students who aren't on the spectrum who are also dress nicely too. Formal wise.

I seen aspies dress like 1990's fashion these days. Bit a laugh aye?

PS: imagine your parent dress like the 1980's fashion. That is even more funnier.

Back in the late 1980s, my looks were no impediment to dating. Lack of money, transportation, and a permanent home address did make it difficult to maintain relationships.

Physical-Appearance (for guys anyway) has far less to do with date-ability than Confidence-Levels.
The main things that are related will generally include some level of the following...:
⇉　Smelling pleasant (basically you don't be the source of foul-odours that are foul-smelling)
⇉　Wearing proper attire that looks more professional rather than casual (big difference in superficial-crowds)
⇉　Your ability to remain cool, calm, and collected, even in situations that would bother most other people
⇉　Your ability to be entertaining or interesting to others such that they'd even "subscribe" as your follower
⇉　Your ability to be able to continue to afford being out in the public or charisma to get others to pay for you
⇉　Your experience in being able to easily handle and solve the multitudes of life-problems you encounter
⇉　Your rapport with other people whom are willing to exchange favours as a social human-resources network
⇉　Your ability to command and knowing of how to get results no matter the type of project to be completed
⇉　Leadership-Abilities. This one I believe to be amongst the very most-important of them all.

Bad behavior is more of a romance-killer than looking "different".

I don't think there is a look. Unless by look you mean body language.

Plenty of people not on the spectrum also have that problem.

To me this is too convenient an excuse to use myself. I tend to think that naivety, lack of social awareness on an inherent level, being a bit too asocial, not reciprocating, etc are bigger factors.

I think all of these could be overcome, or if not adaptions could be made. Hopefully without comprising yourself too much. Or at least that is what I'm inclined to believe.

Obviously if there is someone who is really understanding, that would work best. So long as you return the favour as well.

I don't think looks have anything to do with it

Maybe i could use a makeover but I'm not dirty and I wear clothes that match and fit, I mean I guess I don't know but I've posted pictures on here.

My issues reside inside my brain, I know the problem but I am clueless how to fix it but I am trying.

Nonsense, there is no "aspie look", plenty of aspies are very attractive and well dressed, a lot of men here are married and in relationships with NTs etc etc etc.

Speak for yourself, I for one am tired of the ugly, unfit, scruffy aspie stereotype.

I'm going to agree with the above post, but speaking from a view point of an NT, who is with a well dressed, attractive Aspie! I'm sick of the stereo typing in this world! All of you are indeviduals, unique in your own way, and have your own things to offer someone! Don't let anyone tell you different!