A good trend : Men stopped(cold) approaching women for good.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 2:49 am

Boycott the cold approach, guys, boycott it. :twisted:

Umm...well, I think all guys in the world have boycotted it already without my guidance. :|


Check this article:

http://edumckaytion.com/blog/men-notice-women-anymore/

Check this thread, there are a lot of girls complaining online how no guys are just glimpsing but never making a move
http://www.girlsaskguys.com/flirting/q1 ... r-us-girls

And this is a real trend, very real - I have been subtly observing people in social gatherings, pubs, bars, gyms, activities - everywhere: The only instances where I am seeing guys talking to girls is if they are already couple coming to the place or a group of friends coming together to the place, but all guys who were not in the company of any girls (usually in a company with other guys) kept sitting there and doing their things, and I have seen no 1 guy, without any exaggeration, doing the cold approach thing to any of girls who are sitting there alone doing their things.

And this is good, men should boycott the cold approach altogether, because it's trouble, humiliating, and it simply doesn't work if you're average. Because media ridicule average guys (comedy, jokes, comics...etc) doing cold approach all the time, and no I don't mean they just ridicule the PUA and douche things - but any kind of a regular conversation initiation, so here we are, guys stopped it - bravo.

The only socially acceptable mating-approach nowadays is getting to know people through friends or when women initiate the conversation with the men.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 11 Jul 2016, 3:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

314pe
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11 Jul 2016, 3:04 am

As an aesthetically challenged guy I have no problem with this idea at all. :wink:



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 3:06 am

314pe wrote:
As an aesthetically challenged guy I have no problem with this idea at all. :wink:


:thumright:



Outrider
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11 Jul 2016, 3:43 am

I agree I've noticed cold approaching becoming less and less common.

I blame modern extremist feminism and it making men afraid to approach.

I also blame the rise of social media and online dating. Not only do people seem more stand-offish due to finding their social fix online, but the problem with online dating is it's difficult for men on average and, even if you don't do online dating yourself, other people DO which means that cute girl who's number you got the other day has at least two guys from Tinder on the backburner.

"And this is good, men should boycott the cold approach altogether, because it's trouble, humiliating, and it simply doesn't work if you're average."

But if you don't make an effort, who will?

Men typically have to do the approaching if they want any sort of success whatsoever.

Besides, what do you define as 'cold approaching'?

It doesn't have to be approaching random women in the street all the time.

What about at some sort of club or group where you might get to know one of the more frequent members a few times and then ask for their contact details?

What about when you meet someone at a social event, hang out and chat together for several hours, and then ask for their number at the end?

That may have still been 'cold approaching' as you approached a strange and struck up a conversation.

Even if instead of asking for a number after 5 minutes, it took you 50 minutes of hanging out, that's still 'cold-approaching'.

"The only socially acceptable mating-approach nowadays is getting to know people through friends or when women initiate the conversation with the men."

Not everyone has mutual friends with another person, heck, not everyone has ANY friends altogether.

Some women rarely do the initiating, sometimes even if they express an interest in him, but may be too shy to do so. Someone's got to make the effort.

From your past posts you've tended to strongly agree online dating is hopeless, so trying to meet people online is a pointless endeavor as well.

If online AND real-life is not an option (lol), then what is?

Why do you suggest severely limiting potential dating options?

What good will that do?

Some nations around the world are having all-time highs of single rates.

Japan is having something of a crisis due to its high single population, in the United States single person households are at an all time statistical high and only increasing. Divorce rates are also at an all time high in the U.S. Japan has all time low birth rates.

Google this and there is evidence of all 4.

Dating has become so hard nowadays it is actually affecting the world as we know it.

Why make it even harder?

Look, I don't like it just as much as you, approaching random strangers rather than people I know decently first.

Heck, I'd probably prefer to meet people through 'mutual friends' first myself.

But I can't do this right now and for some of us that will never be possible.

I have 4 scattered friendships in 3 different cities. 3 of my friends, males, do not know many females our age at all, just like me.

The one female friend I do have only knows other females where we both used to live, but we have both since moved to different places. No point meeting people through her friends if they'll be 4+ hour away.

What else is there for me?

Honestly, I would consider approaching a female classmate at university who you've had a few conversations with and is your acquaintance 'cold approaching' as well so ruling that out literally rules out EVERYTHING.

Cold approaching should not stop, but it should be a last resort. And for some, it is.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 5:25 am

^ You simply have to do it through other ways.

You're still very young, try to make friends in college - don't wait, this is the easiest stage in life to make friends.



Alliekit
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11 Jul 2016, 9:00 am

Why can't both genders just approach each other?

If a girl sees a guy she like she approaches him and if a guy sees a girl she likes he approached her.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 9:15 am

Alliekit wrote:
Why can't both genders just approach each other?

If a girl sees a guy she like she approaches him and if a guy sees a girl she likes he approached her.


No, no and no.

We are not on an equal terms here.

Because men would rarely interpret a woman approaching him as predatory, it is very rare for a guy to see a woman as a potential threat.

A woman might have a gut feeling that the guy who's trying to approach her is dangerous or making her feel uncomfortable for whatever reason- maybe the guy is really acting in inappropriate way but also maybe his face or his behavior just reminds her of someone who did something bad to her...I dunno...

In all cases, I believe that it is better and safer to rely on the woman's instinct alone, and to adopt "the woman approaches the guy that she finds attractive and non-threatening" as the standard social courting.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2016, 9:32 am

In real life, women rarely approach guys for various reasons--most of them having to do with societal expectations.

If I'm single and I like a girl, I would feel like approaching her. I might not do it owing to shyness--but I would feel the urge.

I wouldn't rely on girls approaching guys. Guys would be up Crap's Creek without a paddle.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 9:58 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
In real life, women rarely approach guys for various reasons--most of them having to do with societal expectations.

If I'm single and I like a girl, I would feel like approaching her. I might not do it owing to shyness--but I would feel the urge.

I wouldn't rely on girls approaching guys. Guys would be up Crap's Creek without a paddle.



These are only your generation's societal expectations, kraftie; they are going extinct.



BTDT
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11 Jul 2016, 10:01 am

I went to a party yesterday and spend my time talking to the pretty married women to practice my social skills.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2016, 10:03 am

They are not going extinct fast enough!

Maybe in academic/intellectual/sophisticated circles in cosmopolitan cities in the US (e.g., Manhattan, NYC; Los Angeles, CA), there are women approaching guys.

But certainly not in the rural South.

or in the conservative Midwest.



rdos
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11 Jul 2016, 10:17 am

I have no problem with that whatsoever. I never cold-approached a woman for a romantic reason, and I really don't needed to either. It's possible to setup the observation game without anybody approaching, and when it is done, people know each others so well that it's no longer a cold-approach, more like approaching a friend.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2016, 10:19 am

I have done the "observation" thing.

Responses have ranged from neutral to very negative.

I've had people ask me "Whaddaya lookin' at?" and threatening fisticuffs--yes, women!!

It just doesn't work for me.

Maybe I should go to Sweden and try that! :D



aspiemike
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11 Jul 2016, 10:37 am

My experience as a 30 year old:

Girls who have intiated with me or approached me whom i have dated, were usually the ones to dump me. Most of them were quick about it too.

The ones i have approached... Well it was only one so far. And that one and I are still together.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 10:39 am

BTDT wrote:
I went to a party yesterday and spend my time talking to the pretty married women to practice my social skills.


Married women do not count; they respond totally differently.



Jacoby
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11 Jul 2016, 10:46 am

People are becoming progressively more antisocial with the replacement of human interaction with technology. If gender roles are to be thrown out then this should be the first one since it makes much more sense for women to approach men then the other way around but of course that is not what is going to happen. We just have a more miserable, lonely, bitter population.