Married and asked out

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Joined: 14 Apr 2011
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Location: Hindustan

03 Jul 2016, 1:25 pm

I have been married more than 15 years now. There is no physical relationship in my marriage also he doesnt communicate with me.

Another married guy whom i met he is hinting to me from last 4 years.
So last week i responded to him
He asked me to meet him coming weekend
He is not keen to spend money on me. Doesnt want to romance me.
Just want to get straight to sex

I never dated anyone before
Feels very shallow superficial relation
If had taken me for romantic dates and pampered me gifts
Then i would have felt comfortable
But im feeling.cheap and sluttish

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Last edited by namaste on 03 Jul 2016, 1:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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03 Jul 2016, 1:27 pm

It's not your fault that he behaves this way, so please don't blame yourself.

namaste
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03 Jul 2016, 1:37 pm

Girls give into guys demand for.sex bcos they get goodies, gifts, outings,presents,
But if he is not going to give anything then why give him sex

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Fnord
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03 Jul 2016, 3:10 pm

No romance = no sex. That makes sense to me. Why get physically involved with someone if they won't get emotionally (or financially) involved with you?

I'm sorry that you're in this situation. It must be very trying for you. Hold fast.

Peacesells
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03 Jul 2016, 4:01 pm

Are you asking for advice about cheating on your husband? Seriously...
A good advice would be not to cheat on him and talk about him about the problems of your relationship. If it can't go on anymore maybe there's always divorce I think, not sure about the laws in your country.

namaste wrote:

Girls give into guys demand for.sex bcos they get goodies, gifts, outings,presents,
But if he is not going to give anything then why give him sex

That is not usually the reason why girls do it, at least here. I think girls who do it for such reasons here are called gold diggers or something like that.

namaste
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04 Jul 2016, 2:00 am

Peacesells wrote:

namaste wrote:

Girls give into guys demand for.sex bcos they get goodies, gifts, outings,presents,
But if he is not going to give anything then why give him sex

That is not usually the reason why girls do it, at least here. I think girls who do it for such reasons here are called gold diggers or something like that.

I have told him several times
Even took him for marriage counselling
No change
Divorce not easy i dont work

Guess i will just adjust with this

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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 2:04 am

So you will feel less shallow, less superficial, less cheap and less sluttish if you offer him sex in return of gifts and dinners?

namaste
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04 Jul 2016, 2:11 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

So you will feel less shallow, less superficial, less cheap and less sluttish if you offer him sex in return of gifts and dinners?

Atleast would feel like in relationship
Both are gaining something

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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 2:13 am

namaste wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

So you will feel less shallow, less superficial, less cheap and less sluttish if you offer him sex in return of gifts and dinners?

Atleast would feel like in relationship
Both are gaining something

uhmm...

well....

ok, question, don't YOU desire sex?

namaste
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04 Jul 2016, 2:16 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

namaste wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

So you will feel less shallow, less superficial, less cheap and less sluttish if you offer him sex in return of gifts and dinners?

Atleast would feel like in relationship
Both are gaining something

uhmm...

well....

ok, question, don't YOU desire sex?

Good question
Yes sometimes i do
I asked hubby for it
He does it like a chore
Passion gone missing
Im just 35
Looks like celibacy will take over

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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 2:21 am

namaste wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

namaste wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

So you will feel less shallow, less superficial, less cheap and less sluttish if you offer him sex in return of gifts and dinners?

Atleast would feel like in relationship
Both are gaining something

uhmm...

well....

ok, question, don't YOU desire sex?

Good question
Yes sometimes i do
I asked hubby for it
He does it like a chore
Passion gone missing
Im just 35
Looks like celibacy will take over

Then why can't it be an equal exchange, sex for sex? instead of sex for gifts?

namaste
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04 Jul 2016, 2:28 am

Quote:

Then why can't it be an equal exchange, sex for sex? instead of sex for gifts?

Though im not getting sex im not gone obsessed for it
I prefer to get love,romance, pamper, gifts
Neglect and longterm abuse made me this way

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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 2:47 am

Ok, then tell him so. We can't change anything.

namaste
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04 Jul 2016, 3:06 am

namaste wrote:

Quote:

Though im not getting sex im not gone obsessed for it
I prefer to get love,romance, pamper, gifts
Neglect and longterm abuse made me this way

Told already
But he says too busy with work
Cant date
No time for long.drives etc

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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 3:21 am

Ok, then go to https://www.ashleymadison.com/ - according to the real leaked stats, there was about 20 millions active men there vs 2500 active women.

So you will have...literally, tons of options, ~8000 men per woman!

namaste
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04 Jul 2016, 3:24 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

No cant go with strangers
And element of love is missing

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