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Beowulf24
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09 Aug 2016, 3:30 am

Hi. Im Steven. I'm 21 and I've never been in any type of relationship. I have tried several dating sites, but apparently the women aren't interested in ugly guys. I've tried meeting people in public, which is horrible. I've been told several times I'm ugly, I'm not dating material, I'm just not her type, I'm not really a type, s**t like that that makes me wanna kill myself. I have one friend who lives about 3 hours away, and she doesn't understand, cuz she has guys throwing themselves at her 24/7. So I figured I'd come here and voice my pain. Am I too ugly? I'm just tired of being single. I want someone I can spoil. Someone who can make me feel necessary. Someone to end my pain. Btw my pic is on my profile.



Hopper
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09 Aug 2016, 5:28 am

I can't see your picture - I don't know if it hasn't uploaded, or if you have to make so many posts before it shows up (as I recall, there's a five post minimum before members can post links. Don't know about anything else).

So, I've no idea of your physical appearance. But:

Quote:
I want someone I can spoil. Someone who can make me feel necessary. Someone to end my pain.


Be careful with that. Given the human condition, it feels pretty utopian to say 'be happy on your own first!', but I'll still make that recommendation anyway. It's hard work, maybe, but worth it (or so I've heard...).

As to your luck with the ladies, I think the first consideration is just what kind of woman you're going for. Ideally, in romance, we want an overlap of the kind of people we're interested in and the kind of people who are interested in us.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Chronos
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09 Aug 2016, 5:59 am

Beowulf24 wrote:
Hi. Im Steven. I'm 21 and I've never been in any type of relationship. I have tried several dating sites, but apparently the women aren't interested in ugly guys. I've tried meeting people in public, which is horrible. I've been told several times I'm ugly, I'm not dating material, I'm just not her type, I'm not really a type, s**t like that that makes me wanna kill myself. I have one friend who lives about 3 hours away, and she doesn't understand, cuz she has guys throwing themselves at her 24/7. So I figured I'd come here and voice my pain. Am I too ugly? I'm just tired of being single. I want someone I can spoil. Someone who can make me feel necessary. Someone to end my pain. Btw my pic is on my profile.


A relationship based on self validation probably isn't going to be the healthiest of relationships. Value yourself first, and adopt the values you want to espouse as a person, within the extent that you are capable of.

Start with becoming more social in general and interacting with other people, and maybe in time you will eventually develop the skills for a romantic relationship.



kraftiekortie
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09 Aug 2016, 7:18 am

If I was a girl, and I knew you knew Old English, I'd be impressed.

Maybe you should act more like Grendel at times :wink:



Sweetleaf
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09 Aug 2016, 12:15 pm

Beowulf24 wrote:
Hi. Im Steven. I'm 21 and I've never been in any type of relationship. I have tried several dating sites, but apparently the women aren't interested in ugly guys. I've tried meeting people in public, which is horrible. I've been told several times I'm ugly, I'm not dating material, I'm just not her type, I'm not really a type, s**t like that that makes me wanna kill myself. I have one friend who lives about 3 hours away, and she doesn't understand, cuz she has guys throwing themselves at her 24/7. So I figured I'd come here and voice my pain. Am I too ugly? I'm just tired of being single. I want someone I can spoil. Someone who can make me feel necessary. Someone to end my pain. Btw my pic is on my profile.


What people tell you all that, are they family, people you consider friends, or women you've tried asking out or random jerks? I really doubt you're actually too ugly for a relationship, for one attractiveness is pretty subjective...like I doubt my boyfriend would be considered attractive by everyone but he is to me doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. Also good hygiene and clothes that don't look terrible and a hairstyle that fits you(different things look good on different people) also help with appearance. There are certainly clothes I look terrible in or certain colors....basically if I get dressed and look in the mirror and anything about my attire makes me cringe I change it up.

Also a relationship doesn't end all emotional pain...I mean seems you've gotten some negativity from people to an extent it's effected you, that's not something a girlfriend can fix so be careful not to expect that of them you still have to cope with that and try and find healthy ways to deal with it so it doesn't interfere negatively with the relationship.

Also think about the things you enjoy doing, what your interests are it can be helpful to try and find people into some of the same things. You say you've tried dating sites so do you have details about yourself and are you expressive of interests on there? And what sort of messages are you sending.


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Beowulf24
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09 Aug 2016, 7:59 pm

kraftiekortie
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09 Aug 2016, 8:01 pm

I can't read Beowulf in Old English.

I've only read it in Modern English.

I like some of these old epic-type things.

And I'm sure a girl you meet will, too.



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09 Aug 2016, 8:44 pm

Beowulf24 wrote:


You seem alright. Men aren't really my thing, but I've seen plenty of fellas like yourself with girlfriends, and plenty more who've taken a real beating with the ugly stick also succesful.

You're in the same boat as anyone else. You want

1) someone in whom you are interested who
2) is also interested in you.

There's quite a lot you can do to change the various parameters until you get a good overlap.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Chronos
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09 Aug 2016, 11:19 pm

Beowulf24 wrote:


You are not unusual looking in any way. A bit chubby but certainly not ugly.



kraftiekortie
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10 Aug 2016, 9:23 am

You look like some guy who's into heavy metal or something.

That doesn't disqualify you from dates.

How did you come up with the name Beowulf, anyway? Just curious.



Beowulf24
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10 Aug 2016, 2:34 pm

Because ever since I was a kid, Beowulf was my favorite.



kraftiekortie
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10 Aug 2016, 4:57 pm

Have you ever thought about learning Old English?