During a meltdown I hit my gf..

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Today my girlfriend and I got into a big fight, and I broke up with her after.. I started having a meltdown. I needed badly to be left alone, so I said nicely please leave me alone, I just need at least 5 minutes alone to calm down please. I couldn’t think properly, I couldn’t do anything. She continued to say, “just talk to me” and wouldn’t leave me alone. I told her again 20 plus times to please leave me alone. Not screaming, nice, just please.. and she knows that I need space when I get like this. She continued to say just talk to me.. I locked myself in a closet to gather my thoughts away from her and calm myself down, and she found a way to open it.. I asked her again for space to calm down and she continued so I pushed her out of the way, and ran off to be alone. She followed me and I asked for the last time before I gently pushed her again and she followed again, I was having a full blown meltdown by this point and she got in my face telling me to talk to her and I hit her.. not hard and I don’t believe it hurt her but afterwards she banged her arm on the door, made bruises, and told her parents.. Am I in the wrong when I explained to her what I needed 100 times?

You're not in the wrong for telling her you needed space, what she did could be classed as harassment. But you are in the wrong for pushing and hitting her.

Obviously it’s not ideal. But having a meltdown is the result of a disability. She went too far. I would not say you were in the wrong. You were pushed to your limits sanity wise and you lashed out. It’s not the same as doing it out of abusing your power as a man. But best to work at ways to avoid the situation in future.

Society is going to put you in the wrong no matter what.

Did she break up with you?

I never hit women even when they hit me.

Did she purposely hit her arm or did it happen as she backed away from you?

Nts especially women nts like to talk about stuff. She might been super worried about you.

Yes, you are still in the wrong. People should not hit their partners, regardless of gender. With that being said, I think it's pretty messed up that she continued to push you to that point. I certainly would've been frustrated too.

How are things for you right now? For her?

l broke up with her due to differences, and incompatibility. She was willing to still be with me after this. She is bipolar and it just isn’t working out for me.

But she hit her hand purposely to make it seem like l bruised her.

A very bad situation. Yes, you were wrong to hit her, the trouble is that this sort of thing can't be accepted....because what happens if people say it's ok to hit? In the long run, that would be worse for you than people telling you you were wrong.

On the other hand she really wasn't respecting or understanding your issues. Are you guys both very young? She really didn't understand what autism is, did she?

s**t happens. I think it's ok you guys broke up. You need someone who will give you space, and she needs someone she won't be afraid of.

If you do have a chance to apologize, do it.

If she bruised herself just to make it seem worse to others, run for the hills. This is not a woman any autistic person should have anything to do with. Just the fact that she wants to stay with a guy who hit her sets off alarm bells.

Living alone with twenty cats is preferable to having a manipulative person as a significant other.

I think breaking up with her was the right call. That sounds like an unhealthy relationship. Also this sounds like a situation that could go in a bad direction. Psychological/emotional abuse is still abuse, but many people will only hear one thing from the story, and that is that you hit her. Navigate carefully. Make sure this is a one time thing because being neurodivergent is difficult enough without the label of woman-beater.

Just wondering, why would her staying with me after that set off alarm bells? But yes l realized l made the correct decision breaking up with her, when as soon as l did she threatened to call the cops, because technically my name isn’t on the lease. But she really doesn’t understand me and we have been together 3 years.

l should not have hit her but l don’t get why she couldn’t let me be.

I would say, you weren't responsible for your actions when you hit her. And you did all you could to avoid it.
She may have been out of control too, you mentioned her bipolar and I imagine she may be in the manic state that feral day.
Her bruising herself and then telling the family was plain abuse. It's good you split up.
I know in the Western culture a man hitting a woman is something seen as a pure evil... and often it is but I don't buy it to this extent. It wasn't exorcising your power over her. It was a prime reaction of a cornered animal. For me it makes all the difference.

At least now you don’t have to worry about her being fat.

It’s a high stress relationship. Stress creates anxiety. Anxiety needs to be expressed. The world is already stressful enough without engaging in dysfunctional relationships.

Thank you guys. Honestly we had good times, but she is overly sensitive and I’m insensitive, she’s over dramatic. It’s a good things it’s over. l believe l was in the wrong but do any of you lose complete control when your meltdown gets so bad? She’s pushed me to that point multiple times. Caused me to say things l didn’t mean.