I love her, aspies do you think it's ok to contact her?

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I'm asking the autistic community because neurotypicals typically give false information to ease social problems. A few neurotypicals are telling it's ok to contact her but I'm not really sure if they're just telling me to make me feel better.


Anyway I was involved with this autistic female about 3 months ago but I was dealing with some emotional stuff at the time and she had a lot of needs, I felt I couldn't give her at the time, so I broke it off it.


She wanted a text about every ten minuates and I was struggling a bit to do that. I'm dyslexic and I have bit of a difficultly communicating in text especially understress.


I was dealing with some emotional issues and learning programming, which was causing my brain to sort of shut down from the stress of everything. It was making it really difficult to text her.


I told her I was dealing with my own issues and that I couldnt give her what she needed right now but I deeply care about her and that she was one of my best friends and I still want to talk to her. I also told her I'm still here for her and that I think we could possibly make a great match in future.


She got hurt and almost immediately block me from every social site in existence. I felt terrible not just because I felt I had lost someone that was deeply important to me but also because I had just hurt someone I deeply cared about.


She had such a rough life she was as adopted, then neglected by her adopted single mother and raised by a nanny. Then her mom send her to a drug rehab place for something as small as falsely thinking she was smoking marijuana. She raped at drug rehab place then her mom fired the person who raised her after so got out. She got beaten raped another times later in life.


Like I said before she has autism (which I veiw as a strength) but she views it as a weakness, because it has caused a lot of people she as dated to leave her, so she feels abandoned by everyone she meets and she just wants just to feel loved.


I spent so much time trying to make her happy and cared about. When I broke things off she told me she felt betrayed and like I abandoned her. I felt incredibly terrible, I spent some much time trying to make her feel cared about and I felt like I destroyed the progress I made. I felt like I had reinforced to abandonment issues became the thing I was trying to protect her from.


I sent her a letter telling her there is nothing wrong with her and that she's just misunderstood. I told her I have difficulities communicating sometimes that I'm just dealing with some emotional issues and high stress right now. I told her it also mostly entirely my fault because I made a mistake and thought I could deal with studying and my emotional issues at the same time, while being involved with someone but I was wrong. I told her I was really sorry and I deeply miss her. She never replied.


About a month later my stress levels went down, my thinking became more clear and I found self thinking about her all time, I realized thoughts of her were incredibly comforting and healing.


When I thought of her, I almost immediately felt happy. I felt this calming sense of relaxation take over and my thoughts became much more clear. The thought of her existing immensely centers me. Someone that on a deep level I can understand and is capable of understanding me.


It gives me a tremendous amount of strength, this drive and clarity, I once feared I had lost. I realized that a lot of the emotional issues I had no longer really existed and I think it was because I somehow was emotionally healed by being in contact with her.


I realized I really loved her and that the chances of me finding some else like her given population demographics was very small. I think that with a modification of my studying schedule and maybe doing other things to make up for a possible lack in texts, things could quite possibly work out.


I wrote her a love letter telling her how I felt, what she did for me and that I hope I could do the same her. However the USPS is giving me conflicting information so I'm not sure if she ever got the letter


I saw she updating a dating profile on the site we meet on but I'm not sure if I'm block. My question is should I create a new profile to send her a message to asking if she got the love letter with the letter in "" and appologizing for not respecting the block.


I want to respect the block out of respect for her but like I said there is no way to tell if she got the letter and don't want to resend it if she got it. She has been lied to a lot and has come into contact with a lot of horrible people so she always assumes the worse of everyone.

I feel like she probably made a bunch of false assumptions which were then reinforced by me not always communicating that well, so I feel there are a lot of unknown variables that would be required for to make a rational decision on whether she wants to talk to me or not, that she wouldnt have with out me messaging her.


I feel like I owe it to her to make sure she knows how I feel about her. Under the circumstances would it be ok for me to contact her?

I think it's okay to contact her. Just phone her. You were the one to break it off, so it's your call.

When in doubt, don't. Actually, if you ask me, when not in doubt, don't, either, but whatever.

Alas you can't make someone like you or make them give you a chance, that's life. Her reaction may seem extreme to you but you don't know what's going on in her head, especially with what she has been through. In time her view may soften and she may be receptive to communication from you, but for now I'd say repeatedly trying to communicate with her is really just harassment. The ball is in her court so leave it there.

As for what you've written, I hope you don't tell her her autism is a strength and not a weakness as that is quite patronising. I'm sure she doesn't look at it that way and she is the one that has to live with it, not you. The other thing I picked up on is that if you do get back together and you go through another period in your life where you are "stressed" are you going to abandon her needs and dump her again? I guarantee that's the kind of thing she is thinking, and for good reason.

Yeah. Bait your line, and start fishing again.
Trust me.