What it is like to be the unattractive one.

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This is so scarily déjà vu for me, I did experience that on the dance floor (more than once), as if she is telling a story happened to me except the genders are inverted - but 100% same story.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/n ... er-haters/

First of all, I don't believe you're unattractive as I've witnessed that objectively attractive guys believe they are unattractive. Even though you experienced the similar things to hers, they could've been caused by other things. For instance, your overall styles from hair to shoes.

Anyway, based on your prior posts, you seem discouraged by your height a lot, so I wanted to remind you that your height can be more appreciated in some asian cultures (Actually I only know three countries of North Asia which are China, SouthKorea, Japan tho.) in case that you don't have casanova looks but sort of intelligent, thoughtful looks. (Yeah, if you look like a guy who would sleep with multiple girls, it could be the biggest turn-offs for them.)

I've heard that many girls there are not into big muscles either and as they have much smaller body frames themselves, you are possibly still taller than quite many of them. And many girls there are highly educated (so many STEM girl geeks are there) resulting from significantly more valuing inside(or brain)-pursuits than outside-pursuits, again leading to favoring more introverted traits.

ShesGone, what I have experienced above can't be only due to how I see myself.

It is not always this case; actually...it is often not.

Yeah, others could've hated the way you style yourself, the way you talk to them etc.

You (the OP) are a little bit luckier than me. Usually, girls didn't want to dance with me to begin with, so I never saw them looking uncomfortable while dancing with me. That's why I hated going clubbing with friends, and wasn't shy about telling them how I felt. But when I got older, I improved my social skills and aged into my looks. As a result, many women seemed quite comfortable dancing with me, despite not finding me sexually attractive.

Conversely, I also spent quite bit of time in dance schools. There, most people feel neutral about their dance partners, since people generally dance with everyone in the class. Favoritism is reluctantly permitted, but discouraged. While attractive young women get asked to dance most often, once a song starts, people usually don't let on to their dance partner than they don't want to be there. Doing so is considered rude.

This really upsets me greatly, and makes me wish that all people would lose their sight for one week, so they had to look at people with a different perspective! :'( If people would stop focusing on the outer person, they wouldn't miss the finer things that people have to offer. There is so much inner beauty that so many people miss, because they are looking with the wrong set of eyes.

it depends on whether they want sex or want a friend.

i am not classically good looking in that i have no features that are anything but generic. i am not a chiseled jawed manicured stubbled stud (and they always attract the most attention), but whatever.
i have met many girls who wanted me to have sex with them, but never "on the dance floor" or in a club of any kind where people go to look for bodies to screw.

i will never walk along the red carpet into the academy awards, and i do not envy those that do.
there are many pretty people and many ugly people in the world and they all live their lives with what they have.

what about poor amputees who pull themselves along on a skateboard in india with hideous faces and own nothing?
thank god i am not in that situation.

neither are you. you are ok looking as i remember. maybe you are shorter than you want to be, but there is nothing that is a "ewwww" factor about you.

but if you dance among studs on a dance floor of lusting hot girls, then you will lose i guess.

just know your place.

I can agree with your conclusion but can you be more specific in what circumstances it did work out for you?
It might be useful for the users on here.
I have bolded out the sentence where i'm speaking about.
It doesn't have to aim on the sex part but i suppose contact in relationshipterms can be included in this one too?

i do not agree with the term "work out" as if it implies that i was faking something that got me results.
you can not be me and do what i do because if you tried you would only be copying me and therefore faking it.

ok. i will say that when i was at taverns (pubs) on the way home from work with the intent of having a drink and getting a meal, i used to always get out my cryptic crossword puzzle in that day's paper and work out how to solve it.
i was not interested in any way in what was going on around me except for the number on the bistro wall that lights up indicating my meal is ready, and i often was roused from my reverie by girls who wanted to sit down and just "chill out" (as many of them described it).

i always let them because i do not own the table, and soon they were questioning what i was doing and i just told them i was doing a crossword puzzle, and they went from there. they often came around and sat at my side of the table and tried to help me with the puzzle, but the puzzle was always a cryptic one and so we got into conversations and they asked me things that i was happy to answer, and i really do not know, but i think they liked the way i was not like what they were sick of.

they often said "what are you doing after your meal" and i said " i am going home" and they asked what i was going to do there and i told them "listen to music and make some too" and they asked if they could come there and i said "yes" blah blah blah..
most girls want sex in my experience, but i am not really interested in it much. they think they can be the one that cracks my shell or something in the end. whatever.

it's far too intense and stuff.

but you can not pretend to be anything. you have to be what is naturally you, and if there is nothing there that any one else finds approach-worthy, then i guess you are not well off.

You only saw me in pictures, and naturally we delete the bad shots after all - and you can't see the flaws like in 3D.

Anyway, your opinions on how I look don't change the fact what I have experienced.

I wonder if it's something to do with the type of vibes or energy you give off. I've been in the same situation but have been told it's because I'm awkward not because I'm ugly (although they maybe have just been being nice).

Don't you hate the really attractive and confident people sometimes hehehe

Oh please, not again this vibes talk thing..... stop this already!

Vibes and Bad energy are talks of magazines and pseudo-psychology, they are things like fortune telling and astrology, they're not real things.

Dancing is a physical activity and people simply like to do it with people they find attractive, it is as simple as that.

As for the dancing skills, most guy suck at it, sure a skilled dancer would have an advantage but those aren't common; I did observe other guys and it's pretty much like this (the guy part is pretty accurate):
http://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/upload ... -girls.gif

So it's really not about the dancing skill.

Aspies...be more aspies, be more logical.

It happens, maybe next time she will notice that the bloke is not really paying her attention and leave the dance floor with her dignity intact.

Not impossible. At ages 19 thru 22, when I first started going to clubs, 99% of girls didn't want to dance with me at all. Why? I know why. I looked super-desperate! It showed in my eyes, my smile, my shoulders, my body language, my everything! And we all know women despise desperation, and can detect it from a mile away. Conversely, later there were times when I wasn't so desperate . (Read: within a few hours to a few weeks of having sex.) That's when it was a complete 180 of my usual experiences. Girls were totally willing to dance with me, even pressing into my chest, oblivious of us being total strangers.

I meant vibes in the way you act and your body language not some weird mystical aura -__-

From my understanding,

Girls go to dancing clubs cause they like to dance.

Guys go to dancing clubs cause they like girls.

A guys goes to a dance club doesn't have to do extreme movements/exagerrated dancing, just you know chill and groove abit otherwise it appears kinda creepy. The whole naughty/sexy/attractive actual dancing is done by girls.

So yeah