I don't know what to actually look for? Advice?

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I'm not quite old enough for it yet, but it would be good to get advice from the tiny minority here who have found success with online dating too.

It seems most, if not all of the online success stories here were by someone who:

1. Already knew what they were looking for.

2. Narrowed it down significantly so only a minority remained, this minority having the traits and values they look for in a person.

3. They had eventually found their 'kindred spirit' in values and personality - someone who understands them.

4. It took some time, but the result was worth it in the end.

The thing is, I don't get along with or relate to the vast majority of my generation, including aspies.

I'm not the introverted, geeky aspie who could never really connect with people and was shy and awkward and suffered from anxiety and will find the female equivalent who understands him for who he is.

Quite the contrary.

I barely even know myself, but it seems every success story here was by people who knew themselves and found the same in another.

The alternative thinker found another alternative thinker, etc.

The geek guy found his geek girl, etc.

The sporty guy found the sporty woman, etc.

I honestly very rarely meet other people with the same interests as me, at least, in the same way, and I'm not sure if I'm more compatible with girls who are similar, different, or either. I would rather just date someone compatible than necessarily similar and wouldn't mind if we're completely different.

So really, I don't know what I'm actually compatible with and what I'd be looking for.

This doesn't just apply to online dating, but real-life.

In recent years I've lowered my standards so much I'm not sure what to seek, because my standards are so general and non-specific. Essentially if I like her for her, she likes me for me, and we are compatible, and live near each other, these are the only things that actually matter to me.

She could be a high school dropout immigrant who barely speaks English with a bald head, dirt-poor, dresses like a Himilayan Monk and her interests are Spiders and Beethoven. Whatever. She could be something completely different. If I'm attracted to her physically and emotionally, she to me, and we get along well, than almost NO other factors come into play whatsoever.

Every past girl I've been attracted to have been so diverse in personality and appearance, I use to try to find the similarities and patterns and assume these are the traits I like, but gave up. There were some, but not enough and some were just too insignificant for me to exaggerate them as a common pattern when it was just coincidence.

If I am attracted to her, I am. It's either I am or not and it seems very few factors come into play that actually affect this.

So, with such a thought pattern as mine, how could I know what to look for and what would be right and compatible with me?

Just try to progress in life. That's the only advice.

Try to go out of the house on your own.

Try to go to University.

What else is there?

Cut and paste everything you just typed into your online dating profile, and use pictures like the one in your av.



I've also found that women on those websites are not looking for relationships. They are looking for a "boy-toy" as one of them so proudly put it. Also, facebook counts as well. Try using that one, as well as okcupid, pof, etc.