I think my friend likes me

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I have this one guy friend that I have known since the 9th grade. He was always kind of a player and we didn't really start off on the right foot. He tried to ask me out back then and giving me these exaggerated compliments, but I said no because people warned me that he was a player and he would say the same stuff to multiple girls and not to catch feelings for him. Luckily I didn't. We didn't talk for most of grade 10, but just last school year he reached out to me and apologized for being a jerk back then. My friend told me that he messaged her asking if we could just put what happened 2 years ago aside and for me to not dislike him. My friend then told me that he told her to tell me that, as I had him blocked on social media. I told her that yes we can put it aside but that I was NOT at all interested in being more than friends, and that this is just putting the past aside and doesn't mean I want to date him.

After that it was good, we would talk occasionally and we would talk normally (no flirting or asking me out). I thought it was going fine. It seemed clear with what this was. I was dating another guy for a short time and he respected that and supported us. I ended up breaking up with my bf at the end of June and ever since then he has returned with the compliments, calling me his angel or his "beautiful best friend". I keep telling myself that he's a player and he just says that stuff to other girls too but he sends blue heart emojis and smiley faces in almost all of his messages. On top of that, my birthday was just last week and he said he had a surprise but ended up telling me what it was. It wasn't just a card or a box of candy or anything simple like that. He got tickets to a baseball game. He said all of our friends group was going (so I guess its not a date?). But he is still paying for the ticket and I feel guilty letting him buy me stuff when I don't even like him romantically. I guess this is a clear sign that he likes me but I'm not sure because he bought another popular girl in my school flowers and a card for her birthday, and he posts pictures of her on social media and calls her "the bae of his life".

I feel like I am leading him on even though we mostly hang out in our group of mutual friends or my best friend is there and its just the three of us. He texts me a lot and almost never texts her in comparison. He comments on my pictures on social media but never on hers. Whenever he asks me to hang out these days, he doesn't mention anyone else so I think he wants it to be one on one. A lot of this has happened ever since I broke up with my bf. I keep talking to him because I think he is a nice guy when he's not trying to win me over with compliments and buying me stuff when I know he probably doesn't mean it. I don't know if I should let it be, or reset the boundaries. I'm so confused right now. I'm really bad at figuring out guys, especially a player like him. Can someone help me out here?

Who knows? Maybe he's grown up a bit, and now desires you over others.

How do you feel about him? How do you feel about people other than him?

He might be a player who is widening his "fishing net" so he sleeps with several girls at the same time.

Or he might be simply a desperate lonely guy who's widening his "fishing net" hoping to get one yes - for being with one gf.
For example, he might like you, he might also like that popular girl, and he flirts with both of you, hoping that one of you will accept him.


So..., are you sure that he's a player? Like are you sure he successfully dates and sleeps with several girls at the same time?

Maybe it's just a girls-rumor because he flirts with several girls (and probably he's very handsome, this is a typical rumor on handsome men)- but just because he does that doesn't mean he's really a player.

If he is calling a different girl "the bae of his life" and trying to hit on you at the same time, that should be a big red flag about him as a person. I'd be distancing myself from such a person very quickly.

Op, so the girl is officially his gf? I am confused.

To be branded by woman as a "player" a guy doesn't have to be successful. A player is someone you don't want because they're not serious. It feels like they don't like you for who you are, they just like you because you're female and any female will do. They flirt with everyone and anyone. That's not attractive. It's not flattering. It just feels false.

Anna_k If you actually like him go on a date and see how it goes. He may like you. He may not, but you won't know if you don't ask.

If you don't fancy him, then don't go on a date. Tell him you don't want to hang out just one on one. That's pretty clear.

I have dated and slept with women who branded me as player or Playboy - before and after and still.

Sometimes it is a compliment.

In my observarion, the player label is quickly thrown.

If they see the same guy flirts with one girl then with another girl even after a couple of weeks - (and even if the first rejected him), they quickly label him player.

Not in the context of this thread it's not. Let's not get bogged down in semantics. The.op is genuinely concerned that this guy will mess her around. The question is - is he really worth spending time on?

I like to give everyone a chance. Rumours can be unfounded, but the last time I gave such a guy a chance it didn't work out well. I found out he was sweet and intelligent and interesting to talk to, but he was also flakey and unreliable and a waste of time and not seriously interested in me

That's ok if you have time to kill and your're think skinned enough not to get hurt, but sometimes these guys just don't know what they want and are unreliable (i can't think of a better word, but I know thete must be one) and you can't change that. You might think you'll be the one he was looking for to keep him grounded. But sometimes you're just another pretty distraction.

Anna_k I totally relate to that feeling of leading him on. Its weird because he's got a reputation for leading women on and yet because we're unsure of how we feel we start to feel.like we're leading the guy on.

This guy I liked really seemed into me, so when my friend warned me about him I said, "oh, I'm more liable to hurt him than he is to hurt me" and I said that because his flirting was much more full on than mine
I was holding back because I wasn't sure, but I also didn't discourage him, which made me feel like I was leading him on. In reality, he was leading me on and i didn't see it.

I agree! This jumped out at me right off the bat! Ruuuun! Run faaaast! This completely screams of loads of deception! I have seen this before, loads of times! This guy sounds like one of those men that likes to collect "Trophy girls". Redraw the boundary lines!

No, he doesn't have a gf he just says that she is the "bae of his life" but they aren't really officially dating. I know this for a fact because I go to school with both of them and have not witnessed any "more than friends" interaction between them. He talks to a lot of girls, he did have one serious gf (who was not the popular girl I mentioned) but they broke up only after one month and she is dating someone else currently. As far as I know, she's the only girl he has been with exclusively.

I most cases, one being flakey and unreliable with you is the consequence of him being not interested in you (not you in specific, I am talking in general) .

While he may be reliable and not flakey with someone he likes.