slw1990 wrote:
I'm almost 26 and I have almost no experience at all. When I was 24 I sort of had a relationship, but it was a long distance relationship with a guy I never met and I wasn't exactly sure if we were in a relationship for a while.
hah! been there...
it lasted for about a year when i was 19 or so, and then about a year again with the same girl when i was 25 or so (if i'm not getting the math wrong). then one day i went to a friend's wedding, which was exhausting to me and also got me thinking (especially because my friend and her now-husband themselves had a long-distance relationship for quite a while), and i finally decided to ask the girl what was it that we had after all
i tried not to pressure her, but i tried to be clear. she unleashed apocalypse on me... we "stayed friends", but she became more and more passive-aggressive, and it was just impossible to pretend that there was anything left but awkwardness. so one day i just emailed her saying "sorry, i'm gone". left me scarred for quite a while, especially because i felt really guilty for the way i handled it, but angry because she left me no choice
about a year later i met my future girlfriend online in a forum like this one. after a few months talking to each other every day (which was nice and fun in itself), she basically declared that she considered that we were and had been in a relationship for a while already, without having ever asked me about it or talked to me about it (red flag!..
). i wouldn't even have known that she thought so if she hadn't said something confusing that prompted me to ask her about it (she was "way out of my league". i had no ambitions whatsoever of being more than friends, so i was very cautious about any assumptions)
it was a very problematic relationship from that moment on, because she just didn't seem to understand the difference between "liking me / (being in love with me? dunno)" and "being in a relationship with me", and she kept accusing me of trying to control her. but we did have our good moments (lots of them), we did get to meet in real life (last year. i.e. two years later. we sort of lived together for about three months), and i did gain a lot from it, not just in terms of relationship per se, but also many little things that are now part of my life and even my identity (even after the final breakup), and big things that she motivated me to accomplish
both of those girls had very little relationship experience themselves. the first one was about my age, the second one was about six years younger than me. the first one probably wasn't autistic, but the second one probably was