Compatibility??

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Quick question:

How do you *know* if someone is right for you?

I've never been good at 'dating' and/or identifying my feelings in that arena. Maybe because subcontiously I always prefered guys I knew wouldn't be right in the long term (defense mechanism?).

This time it's strange though. My rational side keeps telling me that the fact that we work at the same place makes dating a terrible idea, but the rational objections stop there. Everything else fits. He's neuro-atypical like me (quite clear), hasn't had long term relationships, is smart, nice, complex, cute, intellectually compatible (don't know if we're emotionally compatible yet), funny, persistent,...

And now I'm terrified of messing it up / getting hurt. Probably majorly overthinking (couldn't sleep because I kept analyzing the pros and cons) as well.

What should I pay attention to? How do I know if he's serious? Will it last? Is there any way to tell?

Ugh, this sucks and it's amazing

He sounds awesome. I look at it this way: does he understand me? Do I understand him? Do we make each other happy? Could I imagine ever living with him? And of course, are we really attracted to each other? That about sums it up for me.

Thanks
Will keep those in mind next 'rendez-vous'

I'm iffy on the living together, but that goes for everyone except my cat

Do you feel the "butterflies" when you are with him? Do you feel a certain "something" in your Nether regions?

Do you feel like you want to nuzzle up against him?...and that you want him to look you in the eye romantically?

That's how you know....that you really like the guy.

But how do I know he *really* likes me?

How to tell if someone is right for you:

Does he understand you?
Do you have things in common?
How often do you fight and bicker?
Do you get along?
Do you share the same religion and political beliefs?
Can you compromise and work things out?
Do you feel safe with your partner or do you have to walk on eggshells?
Do you have the same plans for how you want to live your life like where do you want to live what would happen if you or him got a job somewhere, would you be willing to relocate, do you want kids or him, do you both want kids?
Is the person able to meet your needs and are you able to meet theirs?
Are you able to deal with any flaws they have they have no desire to change?
If they have a disorder, are you still able to deal with it?
Are you attracted to him? How important is sex?
Is sex important for him?
How does he feel about pets or you?


My mother gave me the 3-6 month rule about dating. It takes that long to know if the person is right for you or not. That is when people show their real selves by then because by then whatever boost they had in their brain that made them change wears off so they start to be their old selves again.

You know a man likes you.....

If he wants to kiss your hand.

If he discusses future plans in an "us" kind of vein.

If he responds to your caresses...with caresses of his own.

If he is enthusiastic about most things you speak about--some of which might not interest him, otherwise.

If he makes an effort to dress decently and keep clean--especially when he had done neither when he first met you.

If you and him are able to speak for more than an hour on the phone.

If he laments it when it's time for you to get off the phone, or off the computer.

When he says he's looking forward to your presence tomorrow (whether online, or in person).

Thanks again!! !