How do I become a better date?

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I'm almost 30. I've been on a lot of first dates. Very few second dates. I met someone this past Saturday, we did dinner & drinks (correction: I drank) before going to a open-mic standup comedy at a nearby coffeehouse. And so far she's fading.

Some discussion and initial thoughts are that I'm pretty "bland" as far as dates go. Safe conversationalist, poor at flirting, very "level-headed" about everything but not ever able to build attraction/chemistry with others. Even when out with someone I end up in-fact being attracted to (I've met the majority of my first dates through online sites), I don't know how to act upon it. I can either be "creepy", or "platonic."

How do I fix this? A friend and I have discussed possibilities including:
-Throwing myself into more service organizations, and volunteering to help with whatever and whenever, and either meet or get set up by people as a side effect. Being "pre-selected/vetted" by friends would mean less ice than "we just met online."
-Taking improvisational acting courses at a local community college or elsewhere, just for "how to recognize/work with emotions." This doesn't quite help with flirting but it could be an option.
-"Practice dates." I do want more than one person I can "practice" with though.
-Dating coaches are a last resort; I don't trust the business model. But when you go on so many first dates (and spend that much on food/drinks/fuel/etc) with no end in sight, 150 an hour doesn't look so bad.
-I don't trust the assorted online advice as a whole. Some stuff may be useful, but a lot of the "Get Girls" websites tend to be very PUA/Manospheric as well.

If you liked the comedy, you should have talked about it after the show.

I'm not a real fan of standup comedy, but you're lucky to be a fan where many women are fans, too.

Another thing women like: when you talk about your family. Or you dog/cat/other pet. Women love talking about their pets.

Most women don't want you to "try something" on the first date, anyway. Just talk to them like you're seeking a make a nice friendship. If you seem like you're "trying something" when they are not being flirtatious, you might be seen as being sort of "creepy."

It would have been nice had Cyrano De Bergerac had been available---but you're on your own in this.

Personally, I feel like you have the tools to be a good date; you're really not that far away.

First of all, you sound like a decent guy, good for you! If I were younger and you lived near me, I'd be interested already. Too bad I'm too old for you, you young whippersnapper ...

1) Volunteering with service organizations, joining a club --- Yes! Highly recommend!

At this point, I'm more interested in finding friends than dates, but joining clubs can help. It's helped me in a weird way I never would have thought of, and now I have a good friend. Even if a particular group doesn't quite work for you, it can help give you social credibility, so as a member of good standing in one group, you can approach other groups ... or individual people in other groups easier. And just getting out of your room and living can be so helpful, learning new things, having new experiences ... gives you something interesting to say when there's small talk to be made.

2) Taking improv acting courses? --- Again, yes! Highly recommend!

Sounds like fun, can help you think, speak, and act on the spot. Can help with things like showmanship, eye contact, smiling, body language. One thing that I think helped me was my father persuaded me to join a professional magician's group when I was younger ... There would be actual professional stage magicians who would come in to give talks and demonstrations on how to act on stage. One caveat: This route may not lead directly to getting a date or making friends, but you may find it quite a rewarding experience overall.

3) Practice dates? --- Um, personally I wouldn't do it. The image I have in my head of this is little brother Beaver asking his big brother Wally to help him out this way ... ... It might work for Beaver, that's the scary thing. if you've never heard of the old TV show "Leave It to Beaver" you can always Google it on YouTube.

4) Dating coaches --- They get paid what? Cool, sign me up to be a dating coach!

Maybe if you were a bored millionaire or something.

5) Online dating advice websites / singles websites --- You're wise to be cautious, and I admire you for that.

I would say, try joining groups. And take some improv acting courses for fun.

I wish you the best!

Maybe develop/show more interest in your partner. Ask questions, get their opinions, learn their history. The subject of self is the most interesting subject of all.