Aspie men when they are hurt?
I was wondering when aspie men are hurt in relationships do they typically ignore their former significant other for a long period of time? If they make eyecontact with you is that a good sign?How does a non aspie woman regain their trust if the aspie man has insecurities of himself and trust issues of girls. We dated for 6 months... We got into like two arguments and he took off. Basically him not being sure if i was like his ex gfs. He said something and i misinterpreted it he said he wasnt sure if he currently saw us dating anymore. I thought he wanted to breakup but he didn't and he got fed up and cut me off. He has a bad history with his ex gfs playing mindgames with him and then cutting him off.
Last edited by valene92 on 13 Sep 2016, 6:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Closet_Genius
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 8 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 57
Location: Bethalto, IL
Can you go into detail about what happened?
_________________
Diagnosed Aspergers, ADD, and Hypermobility
I think it will depend on a lot more about his personality and experience than just his being aspie. One could make an argument that the emotional life is perhaps that bit more bewildering for aspies, and so we can take longer to deal with stuff, but I'm wary of painting with broad strokes. So yes, more details would be helpful.
Personally, where possible I cut people out. I cannot deal with the amount of ambivalence in the idea of still being acquaintences (or even friends) after, and so burn bridges by ghosting. It stops the hope/possibility of getting back together hanging over me.
I'm generally trusting, but any wariness could only be dispelled through time. If I don't want to be with someone, I won't. If I'm with someone, it's because I want to be. In my head, I could lie to someone about how I feel about them, or being showy and grandstanding about my affections, but my seeking out and enjoying their company, valuing their thoughts and insight - I can't fake that, so it's that that underpins and makes clear how I feel about them.
No amount of promises or shows of affection etc can replace my being able to observe someone as trustworthy.
Now, where someone is neurotically insecure, that's something that really has to be dealt with by them. They need to work through it in whatever way makes sense to them and helps them. Aspies are painted as being more 'rational', but I see this inclination put as much to use rationalising our thoughts and behaviour as I do in examining our ideas and seeking a clearer understanding of something.
_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.
You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.
Closet_Genius
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 8 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 57
Location: Bethalto, IL
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