What exactly is flirting?

Post Reply New Topic

I dont flirt, if I like someone I say it to its face or I give the person a phonecall. (The last thing I actually have end doing these days, In tired of giving). But again, I cant flirt and dont know what it is. What the hell is it? I know the stupid wink or the "hey can I get your number" but the more not so obvious signs just get past me. Alot of friends had said things like "He tried to talk to you, you just looked away" or "he ask alot about you" or the scary starring and smiling But is that flirting or just how people are in general? Wish people were as open as I am just saying "you know, I do like you in a girlfriendly way, just so you know". That would be SO clear for me.

If two alpacas rub noses with each other, they're flirting.

If you engage in an unnecessary conversation with an opposite sex ( with same sex if you are gay) it's considered flirting. I kid you not.

Yes, there are no true rules to flirting.

Flirting is simply expressing your romantic and/or physical interest in someone, subtly or directly.

You can do it however you want to. Don't get caught up in 'rules' and 'guidelines'.

Playfully teasing, dipping your toes along the edge of the lake and maybe venturing further depending on how significant the expanse of water is between you and the opposite party, throwing cotton wool in the air and watching how it drifts I dunno.

I am confused about this as well. How do you tell between someone just being friendly and doing normal chatting and someone doing it just because they like you? If someone is the opposite gender, do we automatically assume they're flirting? How do you tell between friendship and someone liking you as in for a relationship than for as a friend?

Flirting is lost on me. I rarely ever get it right, but in my experience it's this weird, suave, playful teasing through body language, double-entendres, innuendo, etc. Nothing I'm any good at unless I just get lucky. I was spending the weekend at a friend's house once. My wife went to bed early, but I decided to stay up for a few more hours and just listen to her girl friend talk. The important thing to remember is this person has very little if any love at all for me, but somehow we stayed up half the night drinking and talking. Eventually neither one of us could take it anymore, so we went to bed. All I did was mostly listen, I barely talked at all. And maybe I looked at her two or three seconds too long, maybe it was the way I said "good night," or maybe the wine gave me some kind of goofy smile. But whatever it was, the next private moment she got with my wife, she ratted me out for flirting with her. My wife told me about it and how she thought it was funny. I had nothing to hide and agreed.

So somehow I supposedly "flirted" with this older woman, and I won't deny that it was somewhat intentional. Could I do the same thing again? Probably not. This person fascinates me because she's a counselor and I enjoy talking about psychology--and for the better part of 4 hours she let me be her therapist (that much I set up deliberately). I'm sure I could repeat what/how I did what I did, but now that moment is long past. The mood and the moment is long past, and subtly hitting on her would be too predictable. It would never work.

Sometimes my timing is spot on and I recognize it.

in the fluke-ish chance that somebody might flirt with me, chances are it'd go unnoticed by me.

Flirting is a negotiation process by which two people scan each other in such a way that the emotional damage from rejection is minimized.

For this reason all flirting must have the following properties:

- it's personal
- it's creative (displays fitness)
- it has plausible deniability
- it's incremental (too fast or too slow, and you will fail at it)

There are manipulative undertones to flirting as well. Mostly flirting is a female-imposed game. Men would skip all flirting and get right to the point if they could, but they can't, and so they are forced to compete in this game, in which they must play with similar allowed moves.

During flirting a person will attempt to obtain psychological leverage by getting the other person addicted to him or her faster than he or she himself or herself becomes addicted. For this reason the flirting person will provide plenty of stimulation, and intermittent reward, and sometimes withdraw, while at the same time controlling their own feelings (disengaging if necessary).

So, to put this in simple words, flirting is a power game that is at the core of mate selection. It is the sort of stuff that the neurotypical mind does naturally and which NTs spend their whole life perfecting.

When I flirt I tend to say kind of outrageous things like if I'm going somewhere with someone prior to dating or even while dating I might say something about going out with a hot giant. I said to my boyfriend I would be his hot amazonian body guard.

I tend to be more physical when I'm flirting too. Arm touching especially.