SERIOUSLY in need of advice

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So I am an AS. I had a few "girlfriends" during my short lifetime of 23 years, but they were never very serious or very interested in me. It almost felt like they were just trying to be nice to me. I recently have fallen in love for the first time and it is the most wonderful thing I have experienced. It is also of course, the most complicated frustrating thing to figure out because of my AS. The lady that I am in love with also happens to be my boss and is married. Now before you judge, she is from India and was part of an arranged marriage to a husband that does not love her... She is the woman I have always dreamed of. She is in love with me too, but I haven't been able to bring myself to tell her that I have AS yet. I am trying to earn her love without her knowing that I am AS, because I am afraid if I tell her, it might just make her be with me to be supportive. Sometimes she gets really frustrated with me because of the communication problems that I have. She always gives me another chance, no matter how much of a ass I make of myself sometimes. I love her so much, she means the world to me, no one during my whole life has been able to touch me like she has. Yet I feel like I should walk away for her benefit. She deserves so much better than someone like me, and am really afraid of hurting her emotionally. I realize that the relationship wouldn't be considered wise or healthy even to an NT, but I don't want to give up on something this special.

The advice that I am asking of you guys is what I should do?? Stay and make it work, I know that I need to tell her I have AS, and I also know that I will never completely win her because of her marriage, but I am willing to share her because she is worth it. Or should I just walk away for her protection. The LOGICAL argument is to leave her, so I don't hurt her. My heart tells me otherwise, this is the greatest thing I have ever felt.

I wouldn't give it up. As to telling about AS,
I don't see that it should be a big deal either
way. If she loves you, she's not going to
quit just on something that she has to cope
with anyhow.

Still, YOU should be open to a relationship with
someone who is available, unless she's willing
to get out of her marriage. Assuming, of course,
that you can't fall for her husband, as well.

go for her man-or you'll spend your entire life saying what if

you don't wanna do that-I have and it was a stupid decision
tell her-be honest about everything

This is going to end very badly. You are going to lose your job and her if you keep this up. NEVER, EVER get involved with someone you work with. All she has to do is cry sexual harrasment and it will be all over for you. Men have absolutely no rights in this situation. Get out of this now.

I would search for another job. If it is the real deal then go for it. Why don't you say what you've just said. Don't want someone to mother you.

I would get another job and then go for it.
Then it's all legit and clean.

A) She is married. There is no 'sharing'. If she loves you as much as you say then she would tell her husband who you say doesn't love her, leave him, then live happily ever after with you. I don't see this happening.

B) The very definition of love is openness and honesty. If you can't tell her about your AS then you don't love her completely.

C) You will feel love again.

You should walk away for YOUR benefit. She's married and you're in for a world of hurt having an affair.

Walk away. NOW!

Bad mojo. especially in messing with marriage. Even if it is arranged and one partner doesn't love another.

You will find another, I can assure you, but going after a married woman is seriously something that you don't wanna do. Ever.

I know that you love the woman, but a line has to be drawn, and unless you've slept with her, then you can easily escape that line and walk away.

the point I'm trying to make, is that I admire you for what you're doing, but at the same time, this could go some serious bad mojo if the husband finds out, sics the cops on you. then you in for big bad legal battle, and jail time. 3 years at least. I think.

If you are in love, no matter what will be written here, your tragedy is just drawn.

But, although you probably still don't know, love will blind you completely, much more than by now.

You will soon fall in love by a girl, if you continues close to hthis one, it will be for her, better to stay close to anoher one.

This is all very clear for me, anyway I don't believe it will be of help. Love is not like AS, it is really an illness, and a blinding one!

With respect,

This is the woman of your dreams? and she just happens to have fallen out of the sky and landed in a desk near you? Wow - what an *a-mazing* coincidence!

More likely, you grew your love for her from the seeds of your own insecurity and once it was big enough, it bloomed. You got lucky this time and she reciprocated (flattered perhaps, or amused by your different-ness).

I'm not saying you're not in love now (whatever that means) and on those grounds, you should go for it and disregard the consequences. Don't kid yourself that this is *the one* though : you'd have found her wherever you called work, provided it had a couple of women to choose between. Men are lazy like that.

And AS? Irrelevant in these circumstances.
If you tell her, one of two things happens:
(a) She asks, "What's so special about that - you seem normal enough to me?"
(b) She sees you as damaged (either too proud of your affliction or vulnerable like a wounded cat) and you begin a co-dependant and troubled relationship.

All the best.
F.

i wouldnt get involved with your boss thats asking to get fired
what happens after you break up it will make things very awkward at the office and it may end up with your being terminated by the company not a risk i would be willing to take