What I despise about love

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...it is an infinite resource, but people are more stingy with it than they are with gold or diamonds. People will give their money away to charity. They'll volunteer. But god help them if they will say "I love you" to any more than a few, elect.

It is something few give readily, and something even fewer will accept. I've lost count of how many I've reach out to in love, said (in words or gestures): I choose you. But they did not choose me. Or they did, and then they changed their mind and withdrew their love for another. Goddamn their caprice.

Why can't we all just reach out to one another, and offer up love? Make one another feel wanted, needed, valued? I have yet to meet a single person who loved as Christ commanded to love. Humans are really despicable.

Are you talking about romantic love or Christ-like love?
Love is seen in actions, not words.
The more love you give away, the more you will receive.
This has nothing to do with romantic love or choosing someone.
It's about genuinely caring for and helping others without expecting anything in return.
That is how you attract love.

You can't love someone that you don't love. Conversely you can't look at someone in a crowd point at them and go, "I'm gonna love that person right there".

There's more factors involved than just throwing a dart at someone.

If you're gonna start despising love and thinking of people as despicable, well you're screwed right there, because you're putting out hate.
No one's going to respond to that.

I got news for you, if you complain about this issue to any girl in any way shape or form (or most anything that makes you seem insecure or weak in such ways), it makes you seem insecure and needy, and women hate that, it turns them off and drives them away. about the only ones that will sympathies are the ones that have no romantic interest in you nor you them. Women LOVE feeling secure so are more attracted to the more confident and successful males, its not about the money, its that security.,

People can't opt into love, just as they can't opt out. Don't get me wrong, you can be more receptive to it if you're looking for love, and less so if you choose to isolate yourself, but I don't think it's an emotion we have much control over.

I myself can't appreciate or understand love as much as I'd like to. It makes for a pretty lonely and separate existence; I try but I don't really know how to do it properly.

Well no, it depends on the language used. Saying all people are terrible is a turn off. I don't want to be with someone bitter, but when someone let's you know them well enough to reveal their insecurities then that can draw you closer to them.

Men don't have to keep a stiff upper lip all of the time.

In some of your posts it sounds like you come on kind of strong. I'm not sure about other women, but if someone I just met told me that they loved me or something similar it would scare me a little. I might also feel a little skeptical.

Expressing love too readily seems to cheapen the idea for many people; I think most people would be skeptical if you said it without any real foundation. Doubtless some people really have found love-at-first-sight, 'past-life' type romances where an early "I love you" feels very appropriate, but broadly speaking I think declaring your love for someone is a much more nuanced and organic process. Ideally you're supposed to know that the other person loves you too before you even say it. Easier said than done, especially with AS, but those are the social conventions for saying "I love you".

It could even come across as threatening in some situations, since the emotional stakes have been raised.

I think that love takes time to grow. You can really, really like someone you've only met recently. You can really, really enjoy being around them and interacting with them.

But you don't really know them yet. People are deep. Even shallow people have a lot going on under the surface. Fears and joys, good and bad habits, dreams and disappointments and things that are important to them.

You can't know about those things after meeting them a few times. It takes time to really get to know another person.

That's why saying I love you too soon is a turn off. It's a lie. you can't possibly love them. You haven't had enough time to really get to know them. And most people know that. Only a crazy person would say I love you after a few meetings. And understandably the reaction is, "Must back away from crazy person."

This is how I feel when someone says they like me, let alone love me lol! I think "you don't know me", and then I close off because I think they must like the mask-me, at which point it's too hard to introduce the real me.

In your younger and more inexperienced years, especially when your hormones are raging, its easy to want to feel or get into crushes and the like, to get overly and readily emotionally attached and drawn into wanting relationships, otherwise feeling left out or rejected and lonely and alone, esp for men. I think this is natures way of trying to get us to mate and reproduce, even if it does not at first seem sexual. This is part of why you hear people say allot, focus on your education and future while your young, it will help take your mind off of such issues and prepare you for when your time does come to have them.

And yet those same little girls will expect us to support them when their boyfriends are mean to them lol. What an ass backwards world we live in.

Its the nature of the beast, they are attracted to the confidence such as leaders and the bread winners, and many men whom lack it lash out for control or dominance instead, its confusing to women. Women wants to feel secure for a reason, when their pregnant they are vulnerable and feeling rightly so, and they want someone whom they feel can also protect and provide for them and their children, and as such evolution instilled this need in them wither they have any children or not.

Glad to know they're little better than animals running on instinct.

As men are, which is why the blonde bimbo at the bar gets more attention from the average Joe than the homely woman working at the soup kitchen.

Don't be so self-righteously denialistic of your own common instinct. If you or anyone else here is actually interested in the subject, rather than just regurgitating the same tired "I can't get a date because I'm too nice!! !" hogwash that's been done to death a million times, read a book on evolutionary psychology such as "The Moral Animal" and how it subconsciously influences physical attraction in males and females.