Breaking Up

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What if you know you really need to break up with someone, but you worry that his or her life will go to crap if you do?

I'm struggling with this right now. I wish I wasn't so prone to feeling guilty. It drives me crazy. A normal person would've broken up with him ages ago.

Stop worrying and just do it.

I should follow my own advice more often...

I should mention that the last time I tried breaking up with him he attempted suicide.

You are not responsible for another person's life.

Why do you want to break up with him?

You have to look after yourself, like Rachel says.

Do you know any of his close friends/family you could talk to? That way you could kind of 'hand over' responsibility, maybe even get them to update you if you're worried he might hurt himself.

A few years ago my brother was going through a really rough and destructive patch, drugs mainly, and hurting everyone close to him in an attempt to push them away. His girlfriend was lovely and tried to be there for him, putting up with more than she should have, but eventually she phoned my mum and voiced her concerns. I think that made it easier for her to break up with him, because she didn't feel solely responsible for caring for him anymore. He attempted suicide when they broke up, but she was out of the picture by then and I guess trying to get on with her life. I know she used to text my mum from time to time after they had broken up; my brother never knew but this girl just wanted to know he was OK.

You can care from afar if he has other people to look after him. I know it might seem harsh but at some point you have to look after yourself, because it sounds like he isn't looking after you.

He sounds like he could be manipulative. He sounds like he's using suicide as a manipulative device.

I had a girlfriend who did the same thing. Always threatening to kill herself.

Is he the father of your child?

He seems to be trying to force you to stay with him. You have to be strong and firm when you break up with him.

Don't worry, you will get used to breaking peoples hearts.
seems most all the women I have known over age 30 has it pretty down pat.
Oh well move on, their no longer of your concern and their feelings are not your responsibility.
many men sadly gets used to it to where we learn to see the signs so break up first before the woman does it to them.

I might sound cold:

But no one person is responsible for another person's life, unless that person is the parent of a minor.

You have to be firm, and don't allow people to use suicide as a device of manipulation.

He's a grown man. He's not your child.