What's it like to have a girlfriend?

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Iv'e never had a girlfriend before, what is it like?

It depends on a lot of factors - both partners' personalities and their compatibility, the time and energy invested into being together etc. "The best anyone can have" is the general consensus to my understanding, but some people would argue otherwise. In fact, I'm one of those people.

For me it's like a having a really close friend, like a best friend, but you also kiss and cuddle with each other. With a friend, I always withhold certain parts of myself and only show them what I want them to see. But with my girlfriend, I go one step further and show her all of me, the good, bad, and vulnerable sides of me. Like a complete commitment, and she truly loves me for who I am.

The trouble is, when things go wrong or if I upset her, I upset myself too in turn. She is, in effect, an extension of myself too. Like a business or hobby, I have invested years of time and effort into our relationship. Far too much for it to fail over anything silly. But because of that investment, there is also security that I can relax around her and be myself, knowing that she isn't going anywhere.

Sometimes, it can be really, really nice.

Other times, it can be a pain in the butt LOL

I hope it's not as self esteem crushing as trying to find one.

It depends entirely on who she is. Some will provide warmth and affection, cook meals for you while you work and watch movies with you. Some will throw absurd accusations, have fits of rage, cheat on you and attack your self esteem in every conceivable way. Most men are so caught up in trying to find a girlfriend that they do not realize, more (in fact far more) than half of the women out there are guaranteed to make your life immeasurably worse, even if they are a 9/10 in looks.

I remember asking myself that question when I got into my first-ever relationship, my freshman year of college. I honestly had no idea what a girlfriend's role in my life was supposed to actually be; namely, her "duties" to the relationship. I just knew my own "duties": regularly calling her (texting didn't exist back then) to see how she's doing, making her feel special and cared for, paying for her meals, helping her with coursework, spending as much time with her as possible, creating romantic experiences for her, and protecting her from dangers (which never came up, and I'd probably fail at it if they did).

The one thing I strongly expected from her was being by date for events and one-on-one outings. (That was the definition of a girlfriend in my mind back then.) She did a very poor "job" at it, and I viewed that as the norm, blaming myself for "not being romantic enough". I didn't expect sex; due to the messages I picked up from teenage sitcoms, expecting it was "wrong", so I didn't even dare mention anything sexual. I also didn't see breaking up with her as an option, because I "knew" that I'd never find another girlfriend again. I was putting in a lot, and getting very little in return. But even then, I was very much thankful for the opportunity to be in a relationship.

I think that shaped my view toward my future relationships for years to come. My relationships in 2007 and 2009 got sexual very fast and had no settling-down expectations, but ended equally fast too. My next relationship, in 2011 thru 2013, had another problem: my girlfriend kept pushing me to settle down with her, and treated me poorly. Which affects me to this day: I'm afraid of women forcing me to settle down, and treating me poorly as a way of achieving that goal. So now, I prefer platonic female friends for fun and companionship (at least the kind impossible with a man, like dancing), and escorts for sex.

I haven't had a serious girlfriend, I've been more of a "gunslinger" and been into picking up chicks, it used to be an ego boost for me but I'm tired of it because I feel like I was a little cynical and compensating for my insecurities.

I'd rather have a compatible partner rather than just life as a "self-styled bachelor" who thinks he's so suave because he can get laid with drunk chicks at a bar; I definitely would never "settle" for someone I'm not comparable with though just to "avoid being single"; I perceive that a lot of people do this and it leads to unhappy and dysfunctional relationships.

I'd assume it'd just be like having a close friend; I'm not the best with people right now so I have work to put into my personality before I'd bother with it.

Much depends on the personality of the woman, but in general, not all women do this, in fact some it hardly bothers, but watch out for those whom have really bad PMS every month, they can get quite hysterical at times over the littlest of things when it comes those times of the month, and when those times does happen, don't say anything just listen, and the first chance you get go work extra long hours or go camping or hang out with the guys till it blows over, for a few days once a month.

My girlfriend is the one person who truly accepts me, understands me & I feel like I could be my true self around her. I felt like that about my two exes but after a while we had fights alot & I felt like I wasn't nearly as important to them as they were to me. I felt like I was giving all I could within the relationship & they weren't giving half of it back.