No more energy.

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Does anyone have this feeling here: Desiring a relationship but you have no energy/mental energy/will to pursue it or even try?

I am like this at this stage.

What could it be? Age? Giving up? Low T?

You say all this, yet tell me, have you tried the numbers? getting out there? or is it all net?

I tell you now, there is a way to play the game, a players manipulation unto what they want to see to accept you, a game. just I am unwilling to play that game, its not me, its not who I am, I had rather live alone then live a lie.

I don't really have much will to talk to guys on places like dating sites, but I still really want a relationship. I think my problem is that I usually only feel attracted to one or two guys at a time, but they usually don't like me back.

Your fault is in your expectations., what do you feel you need for your self,

What do you need for your self, while not taking theirs into consideration.

councilors are full of fault because in a social world they try to change you to fit into their world and telling you this is the only way to find acceptance.

I would classify myself under the "no will to pursue" category on this one. But it's by my own choice above anything else.

Seems a shame in your case. You appear to be decently popular here and your photos were warmly received. It's hard to imagine why you wouldn't be able to get a partner. Yet here you are, asking questions like this.

Sometimes I feel like giving up on dating due to lack of energy. I mean I try with one girl after another after another after another and none of these hollow pursuits bear fruit. It just seems like a waste of time. It just seems like a waste of money. I've spent thousands of dollars on dating and yet I'm still single.

The thing that makes me want to give up on dating most of all is my age. I'm going to be 30 next year. If I can't spend my 20s with someone special, than what's the point? I've already waisted the prime of my youth. Eventually I'll just be a middle aged man, dating middle aged women.

I always hear middle aged people talk about joint pain and other horrors. How can I enjoy a relationship while I'm dealing with that?

If I was 19 or 21 or something then I could commence a reationship and we could enjoy our youthful energy and youthful good looks together. It's too late for that.

When I was 20 I didn't have youthful energy. I was stoned on prescription sedatives. They sapped my ambition and my sex drive. They caused massive weight gain. The doctor told me to take them when I was 14. I was on them until I was 25 and 10 months. Because of those pills I was never a teenager, I was a walking vegatable. I was never in my early 20s, I was a 22 year old potato.

Imagine if one day you were 14 and the next thing you know, you're nearly 26. The doctor tells you that you just woke up from a 12 year coma. You realise your lifespan has effectively been shortened by 12 years. That's what it was like for me.

My last date was a few weeks ago with a 29 year old I wasn't attracted too. I'll never get the pretty 20 year old girl. She wants to date a 20 year old guy. I'm not 20 anymore. I missed that boat.

Even socially speaking, I don't have the energy anymore to establish friendships.

Most old friendships drifted away due to their marriage, distance, moving....etc


Even single guys in my age seem to be too busy for any gathering, it's like every one has already 'sealed' their social circle and refrained expanding.

In night classes, all guys (they're all guys....IT continuity courses, duh) are in 27-35s and despite some are single they're busy with anything, we just exchange jokes online at times but that's it.

Your IT classes don't have girls in them? Mine had girls in them but I was too shy to ask them out lol

The thing is, people do date in their 30s and upwards and find fulfilling relationships. My mom and dad divorced about 4 years ago when I was 19-20 and my mom is in a relationship with a guy and they're very happy together. They're both in their 40s. My best friend's mother met a guy last year and they're in a happy long term relationship now. She's in her 50s and he's in his 60s.

I think it's actually more likely to find a fulfilling relationship once you are older because you know yourself better and are more secure in your self. People in my age range (early to mid 20s) are still figuring ourselves and our lives out and are probably going to change massively in the next few years. 30s is generally where people are becoming more settled and mature and ready to commit properly.