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slw1990
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24 Jun 2016, 8:05 pm

I recently joined a dating site a couple of weeks ago and now I'm starting to feel wrong that I joined. I mean, I don't really feel my age. I feel more like a 13 year old at times because I can be so socially awkward. It's the worst when I don't sleep very well. I sometimes feel like I give out too much information when I do talk, my posture isn't as good, I don't smile as much as I should, I become even more forgetful, I have trouble figuring out things that are very simple and obvious ect.



Darmok
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24 Jun 2016, 8:13 pm

If someone likes you, then all those traits can of course be endearing. :D

But maybe at this point in time, what you need is not so much people to date, as friends to just socialize with and talk to?


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Alliekit
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24 Jun 2016, 8:26 pm

I think it's best to be comfortable with yourself before dating :) there is certainly nothing wrong with dating if you don't feel ready.

However it is possible to find someone on your mental level



slw1990
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24 Jun 2016, 9:51 pm

Darmok wrote:
If someone likes you, then all those traits can of course be endearing. :D

But maybe at this point in time, what you need is not so much people to date, as friends to just socialize with and talk to?


I have a friend that I hang out with a few times a month and another one that I rarely hang out with anymore.

I also mentioned in my profile that I would just want to be friends with someone before dating them.



Last edited by slw1990 on 25 Jun 2016, 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Bridgette77
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24 Jun 2016, 10:03 pm

Could it be that you're feeling nervous, due to not being use to the dating sceen perhaps? I am guessing, since I don't know how long you have been dating, so it's a shot in the dark. I'm wondering if this will subside the longer you interact with the ladies. I also agree with the one poster who said it is an endearing quality. My boyfriend also has this same quality, and we've been dating for almost 2 months now, but I find it adorable. Just take your time, get to know people, and find a comfort zone with someone. :-) I hope this helps some.



slw1990
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24 Jun 2016, 10:07 pm

Alliekit wrote:
I think it's best to be comfortable with yourself before dating :) there is certainly nothing wrong with dating if you don't feel ready.

However it is possible to find someone on your mental level


Sometimes I do feel good about myself, if I feel like I'm making myself useful. It just seems like a lot of people feel sorry for me and act very serious and uncomfortable around me while acting very friendly towards others. I usually try to ignore it, but it's something that happens almost every day.



Last edited by slw1990 on 25 Jun 2016, 12:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

slw1990
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24 Jun 2016, 10:12 pm

Bridgette77 wrote:
Could it be that you're feeling nervous, due to not being use to the dating sceen perhaps? I am guessing, since I don't know how long you have been dating, so it's a shot in the dark. I'm wondering if this will subside the longer you interact with the ladies. I also agree with the one poster who said it is an endearing quality. My boyfriend also has this same quality, and we've been dating for almost 2 months now, but I find it adorable. Just take your time, get to know people, and find a comfort zone with someone. :-) I hope this helps some.


I think that might be part of it. I tried online dating before a few years ago and it felt really shocking and confusing because guys would flirt and act affectionate towards me and I'm use to them just ignoring me.



Bridgette77
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25 Jun 2016, 10:50 am

slw1990 wrote:
Bridgette77 wrote:
Could it be that you're feeling nervous, due to not being use to the dating sceen perhaps? I am guessing, since I don't know how long you have been dating, so it's a shot in the dark. I'm wondering if this will subside the longer you interact with the ladies. I also agree with the one poster who said it is an endearing quality. My boyfriend also has this same quality, and we've been dating for almost 2 months now, but I find it adorable. Just take your time, get to know people, and find a comfort zone with someone. :-) I hope this helps some.


I think that might be part of it. I tried online dating before a few years ago and it felt really shocking and confusing because guys would flirt and act affectionate towards me and I'm use to them just ignoring me.


Wow! I think that's it then, and ironically enough, you just helped me out with the statement you just made! I think we both solved each other's dilemma. I think time and patience is truly the answer here. Just take things slowly and don't worry if you feel nervous or a bit scared at first, because it's normal. Just ease yourself into it, and it will all be okay.



Aristophanes
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25 Jun 2016, 8:39 pm

slw1990 wrote:
Bridgette77 wrote:
Could it be that you're feeling nervous, due to not being use to the dating sceen perhaps? I am guessing, since I don't know how long you have been dating, so it's a shot in the dark. I'm wondering if this will subside the longer you interact with the ladies. I also agree with the one poster who said it is an endearing quality. My boyfriend also has this same quality, and we've been dating for almost 2 months now, but I find it adorable. Just take your time, get to know people, and find a comfort zone with someone. :-) I hope this helps some.


I think that might be part of it. I tried online dating before a few years ago and it felt really shocking and confusing because guys would flirt and act affectionate towards me and I'm use to them just ignoring me.


Ok, here's my take: in real life, men probably don't know you're available because you're so quiet. On a dating site you've put yourself on the market in a public way, so the quietness isn't a barrier. I know it's hard to trust that the change in interaction is "real", but it is-- when men know you're looking they will come.



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25 Jun 2016, 9:41 pm

If you think you're too immature for that, there's really only one way to find out. Try.

If you're awkward, or socially uncomfortable, there are definitely men out there, who aren't creeps looking to take advantage, who find those traits cute.

You may do well to just try to analyze your actions just a little less. Let other people show you what they see in you, don't just trust what you see in yourself, because if you have low self-esteem, that's always going to be warped. If someone seems interested, don't question it. Maybe they see something you aren't able to due to your own distorted self-perception.

But also be careful. Because men with predatory tendencies do look for naivety. Do look for awkwardness and inexperience.

Trying to learn to be comfortable with someone in a close friendly way is the only way to go. If you cant do that you cant comfortably date.

There's someone for everyone. Being afraid ensures you won't find that person if that's what you want in life. You'll never know until you try.



BenieD
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19 Oct 2016, 3:10 pm

Hello, hows it going? i have a similar problem. do you find that the way you talk is quite babyish? thats what i find entertaining. i havent really found anyone else who is like that



slw1990
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19 Oct 2016, 4:57 pm

I don't know about babyish, but it's kind of soft and monotone. I think not getting enough sleep might have a lot to do with some of these things.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Oct 2016, 5:29 pm

Do you rely on your parents in life? How independent you are?


https://m.mic.com/articles/amp/124772/s ... -age-of-29

Also if yoi have never experienced adult experiences such as living alone, relationships, sex, ... you wouldn't develop properly to feel adults - I somehow feel this way for not experiencing a serious long term relationship for instance.

Others here don't see it as a problem but honestly I think it's a personality disorser:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ev ... d-syndrome



slw1990
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19 Oct 2016, 5:54 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Do you rely on your parents in life? How independent you are?


No, not really. I've been living with roommates in another town for 5 years. I rarely ask my parents for anything or go to them for help anymore, but my dad sometimes works on my car when I visit. I'm also financially independent.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Oct 2016, 2:16 am

slw1990 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Do you rely on your parents in life? How independent you are?


No, not really. I've been living with roommates in another town for 5 years. I rarely ask my parents for anything or go to them for help anymore, but my dad sometimes works on my car when I visit. I'm also financially independent.


Then it's the second link that you should read.



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20 Oct 2016, 2:38 am

There's no such thing as being 'too immature' for dating, or if there is I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

There are plenty of intelligent people with a mature view of the world and would do great in a relationship who can't find love even if they try.

Just as there are plenty of reckless young people getting into relationship after relationship and saying they 'love' another person and want to 'marry' them when it's really just a way to get into the other person's pants. Also known as 'immature' people.

Also, don't worry about whether you're 'ready' for love or not.

There's also no such thing.

Again, there's plenty of people who AREN'T ready and not mature enough to handle a Long-Term Relationship who somehow still manage to have several, and there's plenty of people who are well and truly ready for love who can't find it.

Finally, how would you be so sure you're not ready or mature enough for love if you haven't experienced it?

I'd say the best way to find out if you're ready for love or not is to actually enter a relationship yourself, and see how you feel after 3 weeks.

If you want to continue things, then see how you feel after 1 month. Then maybe 3.

An LTR requires hard work and commitment that a lot of people aren't fit to meet but you can easily find this out within the first 6 months and end things if it's just not working out for you.

It'll be hard, but then again N.T.'s take love and dating for granted and could end up in a 3 month relationship, only to dump the person, only to end up in another one a mere 6 months or less later.

Lucky mofos.