please help me

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I'm posting this here because I think this might be the only place where people will take me seriously.

I am a 30 year old male with aspergers. I also suffer from something that makes me feel EXTREMELY hypersensitive to things that stir up emotional feelings, and the coping mechanisms I use to deal with them might seem unethical to some people.

A very good chunk of the feelings I'm talking about have to do with a girl I went to high school with. She was my best friend in elementary school, but once we got to high school and tried to tell her that I liked her, she brother zoned me and then proceeded to date EVERY BOY IN OUR CLASS EXCEPT FOR ME. Maybe that's not very accurate, my mind tended to exaggerate alot of things in this situation. But it was really frustrating because it felt like the world was teasing me with her, and it really didn't help that I was in high school during a time period where it was impossible to watch TV for 5 seconds without seeing something that fueled my unrealistic expectations of what teenage life was supposed to be like, especially since like 98% percent of that stuff I saw on TV involved girls who look like her.

I'm really not trying to sound like some kind of creep, it's just that this whole experience left me with very serious feelings about what seems to be a very rare face type, and I also suffer from severe OCD when it comes to wavering over whether or not I consider someone attractive enough to satisfy my unrealistic expectations - hopefully I'm not the only aspie who feels this way.

I also hope this doesn't make me seem like a creep but: what I really really want is an 18 year old girlfriend who looks just like her. Sorry for being so specific about the age but I really really want to feel young again and make up for all the lost time. I won't post a picture of her, but I will post a picture of a girl who looks just like her (the only difference is the eye color, I REALLY REALLY like blue eyes.)

I want it to be someone who's not "different" like I am, but is very warm and nurturing, who doesn't smoke, and who isn't stubborn about stuff like religion and politics. If the person I'm describing really really exists I NEED to meet her (also, I want to skype, just so I can have assurance that you're really who you say you are). If she doesn't exist, then maybe I would be more willing to go outside the box a little, but I still need to know if she's really out there somewhere first

Let me just say that I've matured alot since then and I am very well aware that what I'm asking for is unrealistic. I just figured I'd give it one last shot, and what better place to do that than in a place that's full of people who probably think more like you do. I don't actually expect this hypothetical girl to actually be on this board, but maybe there's someone here who knows her. If anyone knows her PLEASE let me know- I know that I'll be OK if I can't find her, it's just that, if by some slim chance she really really does exist, I still really really want to find her.

I think the best thing to do would try to move on from this, your not going to find some specific hypothetical girlfriend you've envisioned in your head. Also if you obsess on it too much it will likely garantee if you get a girlfriend she wont exactly live up to that so you might expect too much or be resentful if she does not live up to your pre-determined ideal.

Also whilst it would be legal to date someone 18, it is very unlikely that you're going to meet an interested 18 year old, or even if you did it may not last since a lot changes from 18-25, might be more realistic to try with females in their 20's.

This will probably be an unpopular opinion, but what if you utilized the services of a professional sex worker (find someone who looks like your picture), who could maybe do a bit of a girlfriend roleplay scenario to help you address the obsession? Afterwards, I would focus on telling yourself that that relationship was not meant to be, process the feelings as if it were a "break up," and open your mind to dating other types of women?

There does seem to be alot of that type in eastern European counteries, but they're usually the kind who dont speak alot of english and can only be found on sites that make you pay every time you want to talk to someone. But as I said, I am very close to giving up on this whole thing. I just wanted to give it one last shot. I just don't want to meet someone and then be tempted away from them because I found someone more ideal, I'm very vulnerable to that kind of thing

You're still a young guy. Don't give up.

Concentrate on your interests/career/whatever.

How old are you? You want an 18 year old girlfriend? Have you talked to 18 year olds lately?
When I was 29 I dated a 21 year old. I ended it after 3 dates. She was vapid and boring and uninteresting. The final straw was when she showed up with jeans on that had magic marker doodles all over them. I mean, come on.

Are you prepared to be as bored and far away from intellectually stimulated as it is possible for an adult to be? Date a young woman.

I submit for your consideration that you'll be longing for death inside of a week.

Google Real Doll.

Movie tips:

Lars and the real girl
http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0805564

Crazy stupid love
http://m.imdb.com/title/tt1570728/

Meanwhile listen to Kraftie

I don't think that's a fair generalization. Many of us here are women, who were "young women" no so long ago. My personality and interests have not changed all that much since I was a 21 year old in college getting a science degree.

I'm going to try to follow kraftiekortie's advice, but I'm still bumping this thread just I'm case she is out there, you never know. It's true, I do have alot of priorities in my life right now. The thing is that pursuing a relationship with someone more realistic is very low on my priorities list right now

Ok, I think I've found the one I'm looking for, even though she doesn't look exactly like that. But I would like to know if there is a way to send subliminal signals to someone so that they know you like them and how to tell if they like you back before you actually say anything about it. She works with my sister and is a close friend of one of my cousins. She's still only 18 but it's the more mature kind of 18 that I really really like.

What is it exactly that you have to offer this perfect 18 year old you are seeking? Just the pleasure of talking to you? What's in it for her?

I think what I have to offer her is the fact that I would be so devoted to making her happy

You realise that a cute 18 yr old girl is going to have heard this from lots of guys, especially older guys, right? You are not original in this idea, that you as an older man can swoop into her life and somehow provide her with happiness.

Also, going after an 18 yr old at your age is bordering on creepy town. Lots of side-eye in your future if you pursue this.

Is anyone else disturbed by this? It sounds like the beginning of some horror movie like "Misery." OP, she's not out there. She doesn't exist. Get out of your mind.

While I wish the OP would expand his aesthetic criteria, there's nothing illegal about a man of his age dating an 18-year-old.

If she were 16-17, that would be a totally different story, depending upon the locale.

There are, definitely, 18-year-olds who are sophisticated and mature beyond their years. And in the old days, young women/older men types of relationships were actually pretty common.

By the same token, I'm giving the man the benefit of the doubt---but I do hope he has no predatory ambitions (not to imply that he does---but I still do hope!).

There is an innocence to youth which can be very appealing--to both men and women.

When I was in my lateteens, I had casual relationships with older women because I LIKED older women.