may i be the most hopeless romantic

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Joined: 15 Mar 2007
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13 May 2007, 1:00 pm

i love my girlfriend a great deal.....we have been together only 3 and a half months yet i feel as if i could spend the rest of my life with her....i get really neurotic sometimes and nervous and shake from her slightest touch and kiss....we have talkekd of marriage and children and a house and a future the last month but we both agree that we should take things a bit slower....

we have had a number of problems over the last month as well in conjunction with the talk of a life together, but my love for her is unyielding and i dont want to come home to anyone else...i hate feeling like i need to convience her that i am truly for her as it takes a little out of me everytime physically and emotionally... our "love" life has been incredible as well for the last couple of months but since recently has fallen off a bit...

i thought it was "ED" at first but began to think about our problems in our relationship and my emotional state...she got extremely angry the last time it happened and threatened a break up.....
she doesnt feel i am attracted her anymore because even though i have tried to explain to her that it is emotional....this happened from a previous relationship as well and ultimately ended because of it..i do not want this to happen to us for our love have witstood some serious bumps and bruises...i am scheduled to see an anxiety counselor pretty soon as well as a support group in the local area....

i will do anything to keep her near although i fear that this test has been the worst one upon our relationship yet...does anyone have any experience with anything close to this?

alexbeetle
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13 May 2007, 1:08 pm

She doesn`t sound like a nice girlfriend if she gets "extremely angry" and threatens to leave you over it. It sounds like you are putting in a major share of the effort to please her but are you getting enough support back? I always think that the real relationship does not begin until after the first 3 months when reality kicks back in...

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Gamester
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13 May 2007, 2:50 pm

aye what Bettle boy said.

be careful bro.

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Grim
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13 May 2007, 3:11 pm

You seem like a really genuine and sweet guy, just try not to get too clingy with her as you have not been together so long yet.
Good luck

Gamester
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13 May 2007, 4:23 pm

aye.

just out of curiosity Biz....how old are you?

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bizmack
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13 May 2007, 4:46 pm

im 26 and she is 22.... she says now that she isnt sure where she wants to be and she will call her when she is ready to talk....

my heaert sits patiently on the edge of this cliff as i await either the greatest news or the gravest..

either way i dont think i ever want to fall again if we are not to be...this hurts far worse than any physical pain ive ever been through...

Gamester
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13 May 2007, 7:58 pm

bizmack wrote:

Ah.

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calandale
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13 May 2007, 8:29 pm

bizmack wrote:

either way i dont think i ever want to fall again if we are not to be...this hurts far worse than any physical pain ive ever been through...

I know what you mean, but it is also one
of the purest, most beautiful feelings.
Savor it, while it's here.

bizmack
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13 May 2007, 8:45 pm

yes i am thankful for what we have shared over these last three and a half months....i have thanked god for every one of them....i still do even after this happened...

i am just really sensative when it comes to thinigs i care about and this longing ive searched for my entire life has come to leave me here with my jaw wide open and my heeart in my hand..

what is life without love? life is nothing to me without meaning? ive searched so long for meaning within myself and who i am.. i really thought part of that meaning was to love her and build a life...love is funny like that i guess...i always thought if she would break up with me i would devote all of my time to my music and writing and become some huge cliche rock star with a broken heart and teary eyes and tattoos...guess im just hopeless, dependant, and melodramatic

Gamester
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13 May 2007, 8:48 pm

bizmack wrote:

I asked myself the same question for about a week after she broke up with me, then I realized it was nothing that I did. so remember that Biz, that it was nothing you did. You are a good man.

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bizmack
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13 May 2007, 10:36 pm

Gamester wrote:

bizmack wrote:

I asked myself the same question for about a week after she broke up with me, then I realized it was nothing that I did. so remember that Biz, that it was nothing you did. You are a good man.

thank you Gamestar....ive noticed that in every relationship ive been in, every woman tries to come back into my life...that gives me hope, but it also makes me sooo sad that its always happened like that...

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Gamester
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13 May 2007, 11:07 pm

bizmack wrote:

Gamester wrote:

bizmack wrote:

I asked myself the same question for about a week after she broke up with me, then I realized it was nothing that I did. so remember that Biz, that it was nothing you did. You are a good man.

Mate. I wish I had your lucke where the women try and come back. Okay, first sorta came back, we're friends, but I sorta treat her like my kid sis, even if she is a year younger then me....however her youngest sis treats me like a brother(no males besides Dad in the family) which I don't mind, though when I was dating my first, the youngest sister was annoying (if you've ever read Oh My Goddess, think Skuld on a less brainiac level.

My second, hates me.....mainly because I said a few stupid things about her to a few people and a triumveriate of her friends got very mad at me, where at one point I had to realize it was my fault and take responsibility and talk with them, and appologize.

So right now, I'm dealing with a new girl in my life, and we'll see where dat goes. a slight chance of dating, next year, since schools over. But I'm not that hopefull, I may have come on too strongly, but then again, this girl and I became friends on Valentine's (when we met) and hung out a lot since then, and now that school's out, we've hung out twice. and this week is my last week on school grounds..........so hopefully I'll get to see her, or at least talk to her. one or de other wouldn't be dat bad.

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bizmack
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14 May 2007, 3:18 am

Gamestar i think you hit it on the head about it not being me.....
she called me tonight and i was very anxious and neurotic at first but as the conversation moved on i decided to ask her...if this is the end of us.....she paused for about 5 seconds and i soon jumped in and said because if this is i think i deserve for you to look me in the eyes and tell me its over being how serious this relationship has been....

froom that point i realized the game and all of those times that ive felt soooo bad for those little things from which she would get angry.....i started thinking to myself, how can a woman want to marry you in one week, want space the next and then not even want a relationship at the end of the same week...i promise i am not a bad man....i recognized the game then i snapped...i told her everything i thought of her and what she had done to me...i told her that her ex F*&ked her head up and that it seems that i wasted three months of my life with her....i told her that i was real about everything with her and that i never cheated,which she so regularly accused me off and my recent dynsfunction in the bedroom resignated from the emotional baggage which i had from a previous relationship and my current attempt to be perfect for her....i then told her not to call me until she figures out what the f*%k she wants outta this and she hung up.....

i felt really good after saying that and then she texted me saying that
i was right about wasting my time on her and that she is sorry that she isnt good ebough for me and that she isnt good enough for anybody...

of course i immediately felt like s**t and called her and texted her saying i didnt mean to be soo blunt but i felt she needed to hear that....i then said told her i was on my way to her house and wait 5 minutes for her to come out to resolve this one way or another...she then told me she wanted to be alone and plesae not to come...i then told her either she pick up the phone or i was going to come..she didnt answer so i drove to her house and waited for 5 minutes like i said, and then drove off... i want closure here but i need for her to say she wants this to end for me to move on....my mom says i should avoid her and not answer if she ever calls back...
im confused but not hurting as much because i am starting to see the NT game which has been set for me....anyway thats a novel so i will stop writing now...

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Gamester
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14 May 2007, 10:52 am

bizmack wrote:

Gamestar i think you hit it on the head about it not being me.....
she called me tonight and i was very anxious and neurotic at first but as the conversation moved on i decided to ask her...if this is the end of us.....she paused for about 5 seconds and i soon jumped in and said because if this is i think i deserve for you to look me in the eyes and tell me its over being how serious this relationship has been....

froom that point i realized the game and all of those times that ive felt soooo bad for those little things from which she would get angry.....i started thinking to myself, how can a woman want to marry you in one week, want space the next and then not even want a relationship at the end of the same week...i promise i am not a bad man....i recognized the game then i snapped...i told her everything i thought of her and what she had done to me...i told her that her ex F*&ked her head up and that it seems that i wasted three months of my life with her....i told her that i was real about everything with her and that i never cheated,which she so regularly accused me off and my recent dynsfunction in the bedroom resignated from the emotional baggage which i had from a previous relationship and my current attempt to be perfect for her....i then told her not to call me until she figures out what the f*%k she wants outta this and she hung up.....

i felt really good after saying that and then she texted me saying that
i was right about wasting my time on her and that she is sorry that she isnt good ebough for me and that she isnt good enough for anybody...

of course i immediately felt like sh** and called her and texted her saying i didnt mean to be soo blunt but i felt she needed to hear that....i then said told her i was on my way to her house and wait 5 minutes for her to come out to resolve this one way or another...she then told me she wanted to be alone and plesae not to come...i then told her either she pick up the phone or i was going to come..she didnt answer so i drove to her house and waited for 5 minutes like i said, and then drove off... i want closure here but i need for her to say she wants this to end for me to move on....my mom says i should avoid her and not answer if she ever calls back...
im confused but not hurting as much because i am starting to see the NT game which has been set for me....anyway thats a novel so i will stop writing now...

Hmm.........your moms advice sounds good, however, talk to her again. you did say a few nasty things from what this says, that may have been out of your boundaries to say.

The fact that you were so quick to jump to the fact that you wanted it to end, sounds like you actually in all actuality wanted it to end, because you didn't want to be in a relationship, as much as you liked the idea, and so somehow your brain weaved a way out and you took it, not knowing the irreprapal damage that it could do.

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bizmack
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14 May 2007, 4:06 pm

no that isnt it at all...i have been hurting and crying my heart out the last couple of days...there is nothing that would make me happier then to spend my life with her...i am just frustrated and upset from all of the times she made me feel sooo sh***y about myself about the little things when all that is was, were insecurities which she had about herself....i felt i had to say that or she would have never realized how much she has hurt me without sharing some of my anger with her....i felt if i didnt i wouldnt be able to stand up to her and i would be her kicking post if we ever were to reconcile this....i told her i was messed up from a relationship in the past as well and that i wanted to work through this....

i did feel bad about the wasted time part...i texted her telling her that i do love her and that our time wasnt wasted....i know she didnt expect me to be mean to her and now i think she respected me now that she sees i wont take anything from her...she said that noone has ever told her that and that she thinks she needs to work through this...i then told her i wanted to help her with this...but we are going to talk more after she gets off of work...i feellike i can now be true to myself and her and not feel bad about it anymore...

im still all for this woman because ive never loved like this....i just hope she will come around before its too late...

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Gamester
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14 May 2007, 4:46 pm

bizmack wrote:

I see.

However. I have to caution you, that there is no chance that you two can date again, even if you work out everything, you have to realize things won't be the same, more along the lines of awkward. The good part she knows how you feel now, however the bad thing is that you have to realize that by calling her out on that it will make a significant difference in everything.

You're upset, put yourself in her shoes and think about how she feels, you've called her out and more then likely made her feel equally miserable.

I do want this to work out for you, however I want you to realize that you need to give it time and space. a lotta time and a lotta space. Talk to her whenever, then tell her that you need time to think and space, and if she agrees then good, however long isn't important, make her understand that you yourself have a lot to work out, because I think you do. You've been walked over before, and you need time to think about this, especially if you two are going to remain friends.

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