Responding to Film Recomendations

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Hello all

Posting this to see if this is strictly an ASD related issue, or just a me issue

When I was in a relationship, I found it weirdly difficult to go to films that she recomended. A lot of the time i hid that fear through pretending that those films were just not interesting, but infrequently i would go to those films, after minor protesting. And more often than not i would actually enjoy myself. Despite this positive reinforcement, I still felt fear (yeah, fear, no other word really works to describe the thing) At going to see these films

I think this fear came from not being comfortable with the tropes of a particular genre of films. More often than not, these genres were more associated with feminine interests, such as romance, musicals, and the like. I have nothing against these topics, i just seem to have a hard time to get past the part in my brain that stops me from engaging in it at the beginning. The reason that not knowing these tropes is a problem is because a familiarity with narrative is part of the way i enjoy films. I can watch any new Science fiction, fantasy, action, and most comedies, because I am familiar with the general tropes to know the story basically before i watch it. But films that i'm not connected so thoroughly to through an understanding of genre, cause genuine discomfort and fear at first.

Unfortunately, this manifested itself as just not liking the films she liked, and rejecting them out of hand, and i can't blame her for seeing it that was, i didn't really do much to change that opinion as i'm only really trying to understand it critically now

What do you folks think? Does this sound like an Aspie problem? I definitely want to enjoy these films more, and not appear to be dismissive of interests, because i am really not, especially in regards to film and TV. Do you have tactics to approaching this, ideologies to approaching it?

Gaukudix

I don't think you were being too intolerant, I mean you still budged and went and saw movies she was interested in with her. Was she ever willing to see any movies you wanted to see, or at least give your preferred genres a chance?


I don't have this issue as me and my boyfriend both enjoy metal music and are into science fiction, fantasy, action and comedy as well as wildlife documentaries...and aren't into the romance/drama genres. I never dated a guy with less compatible interests for long enough to see how that would play out in a long term relationship. So I suppose I'd say finding someone with similar interests can be helpful. That is not to say couples with more widely varying interests can't work out but I think it takes some amount of compromise and willingness to take turns tolerating that which you have no interest in. I know I don't have that kind of patience and I don't get the impression my boyfriend does either.