He isn't taking the hint and keeps trying to get me back

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Anna_K
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28 Nov 2016, 4:55 pm

Hey so I have this acquaintance who is a guy. I met him in 8th grade through one of my friends cousins. All of us were in the same class and we're cool with each other. It was well known that he had a crush on me. I lost contact with him the next year because I had an incident involving other friends of his and had to delete social media and we were in the same school, but no classes at all and lost contact with mutual friends.

This year we are in 2 classes and he messaged me asking me out. We went out once and had fun. After that he just started showing red flags. He always wants to meet alone, never brings me around his friends, only talks about having sex or sexual stuff. It could be due to the fact that he isn't allowed to date cuz of his religion but it seems like he is using me. I told him things wouldn't work between us but he still kept saying it would change and that he's never had a gf and he's inexperienced. Its been a month and a half and nothing is different. I've told him multiple times that I don't have feelings for him anymore, it's not working but it goes through his head and he seems convinced that he can win me back somehow. I told him we should stay friends but he still asks me out in date situations even after I tell him no. Any solution??



Anna_K
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28 Nov 2016, 4:59 pm

On top of that he never talks to me in class and school or shows any proper interest in my life and thats why I'm starting to not like him anymore. He blames it on social awkwardness. He's friends with my ex who I hate and he knows it too and my ex knows about all of this and I don't feel comfortable with getting involved with my ex's friend and he knows this.

He might be on the spectrum but I'm not sure anymore



AnonymousAnonymous
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28 Nov 2016, 5:24 pm

If this continues, consider talking to someone you know you can trust. Ignoring this guy could help as a start to keep him at bay, but given that you and this guy are in two classes together, he could turn to stalking or any other form of harassment.

Here is a link that could be of interest to you.

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Someone


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28 Nov 2016, 11:08 pm

Cut all contact. Some men believe that as long as a woman is still talking to him she can be convinced to have sex with him.

If he starts trying to find alternative ways to contact you, then I agree you should talk to someone you trust. Contacting someone who's repeatedly told you no for sex is harassment and can easily become downright illegal.

Social awkwardness is not an excuse to not back off when you're told no in clear, direct verbal language.



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Nov 2016, 1:59 am

Just tell him exactly why you don't find him attractive physically.
ie. Your nose is too big, and your face is ugly.

This will turn him off.



League_Girl
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30 Nov 2016, 1:43 am

Cut all ties with him, report him for harassment.


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underwater
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30 Nov 2016, 2:22 am

If he's not allowed to date because of his religion, he probably has all kinds of weird ideas about women.

Just stop communicating with him - it's likely that's what a woman of his religion would do. Don't be afraid to snub him. This guy sounds like a nasty piece of work. His friend's ex, what's that? Yuck.

Anyway, Boo's the expert on this.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Nov 2016, 3:04 am

underwater wrote:
Anyway, Boo's the expert on this.


Are you finding me attempting to date friends' exes? :|



underwater
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30 Nov 2016, 3:42 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
underwater wrote:
Anyway, Boo's the expert on this.


Are you finding me attempting to date friends' exes? :|


Expert on getting rid of a***holes, Boo. Easy, there.
Sorry it could be misunderstood.

I just figured you live in the sort of patriarchal culture where you see a lot of this behavior going on. I think the OP is underestimating how nasty she has to be to get rid of him - and she really has to, he's not nice.


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Shahunshah
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30 Nov 2016, 3:53 am

Probably cutting contacts with him might be good. It may send a signal that you are not willing to be around him whatsoever.



EnglishInvader
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30 Nov 2016, 11:54 am

Meghan Trainor, No:



kraftiekortie
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30 Nov 2016, 2:42 pm

If he doesn't talk to you in class and shows no interest in you otherwise, it's obvious he just wants you for sex.

Be blunt with him. Cut off all contact...period.

If he continues to try to harass you, speak to your counselor, perhaps report him to the authorities if he's really persistent.

But first threaten to do so, so you'll have evidence that the contact is not consensual.



AnonymousAnonymous
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30 Nov 2016, 6:14 pm

If you have a Smart Phone, film all your interactions with this creep {but do it in a way so he won't notice} so people will know that this guy only wants you for sex.


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Anna_K
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04 Dec 2016, 12:44 pm

Apologies for my late update, but I eventually told him directly: "I don't want a relationship, I am not happy, please do not keep asking me out and messaging me everyday. I told you again and again that its not working and that I have feelings for someone else. Don't hug me, don't kiss me, don't touch me ever". He got the message after that. He was actually not mad and upset and didn't act out like I expected. I think he knew that I wasn't feeling it. The last time he asked me out he told me in person that his friends were pushing him to try and get me back certain ways even though I had made it clear I wasn't interested.

He did use his friends as an excuse but imo thats lame cuz he didn't have to do anything they said in the first place. Thank you for the help everyone.


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