Does an aspergers have chance of dating normal person?

Post Reply New Topic

I hate having the title making us seem excluded from what seems to be the 'normal' society but as an autistic person, does non-autistic people still like us? Becase many people have said I am attractive but I have trouble getting a girl. Is it something we do that offputs them? I knew a girl who was interested in me until somebody told them I was autistic and she never talked to me since and it is making me sad, anybody got input? (And I'm new to this forum )

Appearantly they do, since there are many aspies on here dating neurotypicals.

There so many possible variables. Each person that has Aspergers is entirely different so while dating may come easily to some; to others it will not.

Have dates many neuro-girls. Unsuccessfully i might add.

It definitely makes it harder, I'll say that.

And when I am in a relationship, I still need pretty much alone time, kind of for emotionally processing and staying centered. And plus I like doing my own projects. And next relationship, I'm just going to tell her I need alone time.

=====

As far as titles, how about the title 'Aspie.' Or better yet, how about the title 'Spectrum'? I mean, it sounds so much more interesting being 'Spectrum' than being, what, I guess a plain vanilla person. (and yes, no one is 'normal' or 'average' and how boring the world would be if they were! yes, we can grant that. It's still interesting being 'Spectrum.')

and I've started explaining to a few people that the Spectrum is first and foremost sensory issues and processing issues.

My longest relationship (6 years) was with an NT guy. His family loved me and everyone thought I was just extremely practical.

I've had many dates with women that seemed to be neurotypical. Some relationships worked out well, most didn't.

One relationship worked out so well that I'm still married to her.

I think it's important that we aspies don't pigeonhole ourselves or create self-fulfilling prophecies. We need to keep our minds open. It's a huge world out there with so many different types of people. Just as not all aspies are the same, NTs are also not all alike. And there are many people in between the labels of "aspie" and "NT".

My best friend is not an aspie, but rather a quirky NT. We met in a language class (one of my obsessions) and we've been friends ever since. That was 4 years ago. She was very patient as it took me a very long time to open up to her. We call each other brother and sister - that's how close we are.

I've found that the key to meeting prospective friends and lovers is by doing something I love. That way, I meet people with the same interests.

Having said all that, the man I loved the most (and still love) is also an Aspie. We ended our romantic relationship after 2 years because his obsession of being a surgeon is more important to him than a relationship. Too bad for me. I can understand that and accept it, though. We are still close and have an extremely strong bond and deep understanding which we don't have with anyone else.

Well, it is definitely possible, I've seen plenty of threads about it, and I've even dated NT women myself. So yes

This thread forgets a major component of the way AS affects people. In that it is a unique thing for every person. Otherwise Wed all be the same zombies as each other. The only thing we share is the aspergers name. What affects me might be your best ability. And vice versa. Or we can both be affected as much. And that's just in our neurological composition. Add in the secondary human uniqueness of physicalbeing and then you have a doubly unique way of being. So it isn't fair to anyone making threads like this. At best you can change every instance of 'aspies' into first person terms.

It always comes back to a very common trend among those with AS... are you depressed or anxious? It's not so much the disorder that guarantees it doesn't work out with people (for some it might, but it's more rare), but it's pretty much about the attitude you project towards other people. Generally speaking, your potential dates aren't going to like you at all if they are convinced that you don't like other people.

Why would anyone want to date a normal person.........Normal people suck.

For the record, normal =/= NT. There are plenty of NT weird girls who are fun and understanding and not at all put off by Aspie traits.

Imagine someone coming up to you and saying "your fat!"...it may be a fact...but it would turn most people off. Most people would think...wow, that person doesn't like me. If you are "direct", "frank"..lack emotion it is taken by NT's as not caring. This is something that can be worked on by finding a common ground. When she asks for a hug..give her one. If she says she feels lonely..tell her "I want to meet your needs but I don't know how and even when I do it's hard for me". communicating your problems with her will go a long way. I love an aspie but I don't think he'll ever be able to give me the kind of love that I long for. Should I just accept a life of loneliness or should we try to learn to speak eachother's language and meet somewhere in the middle. It will take sacrifice and comprimise on both sides. As an NT...I'll try to give you some space..and maybe you can tell me you love me ...even if its hard to do.

Yes, because everyone, whether on the spectrum or not, has their own quirks, good or bad but unique.
Non-diagnosed "normal" people vary profoundly in skills, abilities and confidence too.