So has hiding Aspergers become a habit?

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I'm a new poster, but I have been coming here for years. I posted this here because I just had an argument with my fiancé. She has noticed, and has been the only one to ever notice this, that I will talk to other friends and coworkers and find out what the "NT" thing to do is in certain situations. With out tipping them off, I believe. When those situations come up I'll "decide" to do what I have found is the NT thing to do, and if I don't know I'll try to pass the buck to someone else. I have been successfully hiding my Aspergers using this technique for years. My fiancé just figured it out and is mad at me for doing it. Because she has figured out I'll say I believe what a NT person will do even if I really don't want to do it. Here is the issue. I have been, over the decades, ridiculed, teased, most of you know for not being normal. By the time I realized that they were teasing me, I started to try and figure out what was I doing to let them know I was different. I wasn't diagnosed until 2013, but I still knew I was different, even back in school, never knew why though, untill my diagnosis. I have have had this hiding thing such a part of me that only my second long relationship saw it and figured out that I was an Aspy. That's when I got diagnosed, but it was to late to save the relationship, we'll yeah marriage, ugh. Now back to the issue, I can't hide it around coworkers and not try to hide it at home. I'll end up confusing myself and screwing things up. I'm not convinced that the NT world is accepting of those of us from another planet to try and not hide my aspergers. Unfortunately I work in a job, a firefighter, where, like way back in school, the person that didn't get the joke is ridiculed and harassed. Any discussion on this will help. Thanks

They will use it as an excuse to show you how better they are. Now I ignore them and make friends with people who are real to me instead of seeking continual acceptance. I'm now judging for myself what is good for me. And if they have a problem with me, the problem is not with me, but with them unable to understand me. It's ok if they are willing to try and understand, then they might be a worthy friend in the future. I'm saying all of this after, and still going, to therapy. My therapist is intellectually teaching me how to understand what is going on around me because I never had the opportunity to learn it like other people from a young age. Therapy for me is good and it is a slow process but I can see results after 2 years. I can only imagine what I will know if I keep going for another 2 years. I like thinking different, I like who I am.

I can't offer advice but I am curious. When you say you are hiding things - what specific behaviors are you trying to hide from others? Examples would be great.

One thing I've learnt is to be open with it but so casual about it that people don't see it as a target.

If you make light of it and joke then you eventually get comfortable when other people joke about it (i mean like friendly banter if their being mean just tell then to shove it).

I have grown up in a family where they will take the piss out of you for everything and anything. I used to react and get upset when I was young but iy only made the fact I was autistic stick out even more.

Now we joke about it and I'm ok with taking the piss out of myself aswell. I realised that people actually don't care enough to try and use it as a weapon when you have made it a joke.

One ongoing jokes I have with my friends is " I'm autistic not f*****g rainman" when I get lost or forget where we are going.