Physical Attraction in Relationships

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Miranda
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17 May 2007, 11:31 am

I was wondering if it was a tendency of people with AS to be physically attracted to more unusual things than a normal person would be.

I've always been different than most girls. I've never been attracted to the guys that most women like. For example, I've always thought that hollywood types like Brad Pitt were average or even sort of ugly looking. But I love guys who look unique and edgy. The last guy I was with had longish wavy hair, nose and lip piercings, and always wore weird clothes. But all of those things were a major turn on for me.

Another problem is I've always been very physically oriented. If there's a guy who has a great personality, but I don't find attractive, I can't be more than friends with him. I've tried giving guys like that a chance, but if there's no physical attraction I just don't feel any sort of enjoyment from doing anything with them, even things so innocent as kissing.

That's made it hard for me, as I live in a limited town where there aren't many different or unique guys to choose from. It really sucks at times.

Is that an AS tendency, or am I just eccentric in my tastes in guys?



Sopho
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17 May 2007, 11:37 am

I don't think I have a particularly unusual attraction to people. I do usually prefer more eccentric girls to the 'normal' girls, but in terms of physical attraction, a lot of the women I like are probably also liked by a lot of other people.
There are also times where I will initially be attracted to someone's personality (or what I perceive to be their personality) and then that will lead to physical attraction. But I guess I always have to be somewhat attracted to someone in the first place though, I couldn't have a relationship with someone based solely on their personality. It would have to be a combination of both.



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17 May 2007, 11:50 am

Miranda wrote:
I was wondering if it was a tendency of people with AS to be physically attracted to more unusual things than a normal person would be.

I've always been different than most girls. I've never been attracted to the guys that most women like. For example, I've always thought that hollywood types like Brad Pitt were average or even sort of ugly looking. But I love guys who look unique and edgy. The last guy I was with had longish wavy hair, nose and lip piercings, and always wore weird clothes. But all of those things were a major turn on for me.

Another problem is I've always been very physically oriented. If there's a guy who has a great personality, but I don't find attractive, I can't be more than friends with him. I've tried giving guys like that a chance, but if there's no physical attraction I just don't feel any sort of enjoyment from doing anything with them, even things so innocent as kissing.

That's made it hard for me, as I live in a limited town where there aren't many different or unique guys to choose from. It really sucks at times.

Is that an AS tendency, or am I just eccentric in my tastes in guys?


You are eccentric in your tastes. Because I dno't care about attractiveness or physical attributes. what matters to me is personality.


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17 May 2007, 12:13 pm

It is the personality that captures me first...a certain something. If I do not find the person physically attractive, I do find myself fretting somewhat, but it generally follows anyway.



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17 May 2007, 12:27 pm

Graelwyn wrote:
It is the personality that captures me first...a certain something. If I do not find the person physically attractive, I do find myself fretting somewhat, but it generally follows anyway.


I get bored with both good looks and interesting minds too quickly for anything to develop. Unfortunately, I'm one of those people who, once I find out enough about a person to where their mystique is gone, I get apathetic about them. (So I guess Mystique in X-Men would be the perfect woman for me!)


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Last edited by Ragtime on 17 May 2007, 12:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

pbcoll
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17 May 2007, 12:35 pm

My tastes in women are slightly atypical: I am more attracted by brunettes than by blondes, I care about breast shape not just size, I like wavy hair a lot more than straight hair. I like smiling women (not the usual model pose of looking miserable). I'm not particularly attracted by stick-thin women. So I would consider beautiful some women widely considered beautiful, but would probably disagree on the degree of attractiveness.
I am not very physically oriented, personality is considerably more important for me.


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17 May 2007, 12:46 pm

pbcoll wrote:
My tastes in women are slightly atypical: I am more attracted by brunettes than by blondes...


When I was little, I used to think that blondes were disadvantaged (in attractiveness). I felt sorry for them :( , that they had "yellow hair". I have no idea why I thought that; it was purely subjective. I was always much more attracted to brunettes. And then I ended up marrying a redhead -- what's that about?!


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Last edited by Ragtime on 17 May 2007, 12:50 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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17 May 2007, 12:47 pm

I can agree to this. For me, I find imperfections to be what's beautiful in a person. If I find a person too 'perfect', then yeah, no dice. I don't even try to act like I'm perfect, and if I find someone who's the same, then horray. :D



AdrianB
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17 May 2007, 1:21 pm

I'm always attracted by natural-looking girls.
Girls with little imperfections...

I just could not have a relationship with a Barbie-looking girl or some typical 'babe'.



Miranda
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17 May 2007, 2:06 pm

I like imperfections, like my last guy's nose ring. He told me every other girl he knew hated it and I was the first to think it made him more attractive. And I loved the feeling of his lip piercing everytime we kissed. Sigh, now I wish I could have him back...



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17 May 2007, 5:23 pm

I geuss you could call my sense of physical attraction unsual...

See, most of the things I find attractive (in the purely physical sense, I mean) have absolutely *nothing* to do with the persons actual apearance at all. I am far more attracted to voice, and smell. So a guy could typically be considered "ugly", but if he smells nice, and has the type of voice I am attracted to...I could find him *incredibly* sexy.

(is it any wonder I fell for an English guy? I find their accents almost unbearably attractive!)

As for physical appearance? Well, I guess I kind of know what is socially accepted to make a person attractive, but for me other things contribute to how attractive I see them. Does this make any sense at all?


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17 May 2007, 6:09 pm

I've always been more attracted to women who would not normally be considered incredibly attractive. There are a lot of famous women who I don't find attractive at all. I prefer thinner women with sharper, more angular features and unusually shaped noses. Also, I have never found blonde hair to be very attractive.

I've speculated before that my attraction to unusual women may stem from the fact that since they are not desired by every guy on the planet they have a higher chance of being single and would be more likely to settle for a guy like me. It might just be an AS thing, though.



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17 May 2007, 6:42 pm

My ideal woman is Chloe O'Brien from "24", in just about all respects. Personality, attitude, intelligence, and a rather irrepressable outlook on life are the initial attraction for me, although I'll admit looks don't hurt either. However, I'm not really attracted to the Pamela Anderson look - overly large breasts (especially fake ones), lots of hair (especially blonde), and the look that Hollywood seems to expect all guys to swoon over just doesn't do it for me. Neither do tattoos or piercings, they're an immediate and irrevocable turn-off. It's more the corporate executive or professorial appearance that I like - at least on the outside. Of course, it doesn't hurt if there's a little Victoria's Secret under that lab coat or business suit, and the demeanor to go with it...


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17 May 2007, 7:10 pm

The first thing that strikes me in a girl is personality.
I don't want to post everything in prose so I'm going to repost something from another forum, hopefully my taste in women does not become probed.

In my Dream Girl:
Has Respect for my Aspieness & for all Aspies
Understanding
Kind
Caring
Great, eccentric personality
Intelligent
Thoughtful
Liberal
Religious
Good Taste in music, film, art, etc.
Empathetic
Very Playful {no promiscuity please}

Looks:
Glasses
Green or Brown Eyes
Slender to Lanky build
Taller than me or about even {I'm 5' 9'' & still rising}
Generously Attractive
Very Graceful
Dark Hair
Soothing Voice
Actual Figure
Can Dance or move like one


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17 May 2007, 7:13 pm

I like unusual looking guys.



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17 May 2007, 7:15 pm

Well, I tend to at least be a LITTLE physically attracted to anyone I get a crush on, but it's extremely dependent on personality.

The thing is, the girls I think are really physically hot...well, not too many people I've met in real life have looked remotely like them. So it's hard for me to base it too heavily on looks.

That said, if I find someone's appearance to be unattractive (as in "ew" rather than "just okay"), though, then I probably won't ever like them like that.