Games or are they...?

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Something I hear men saying a lot is that they really can't get their head around these games women want them to play.

"Why do I have to pretend to be interested in things that don't interest me just to make her happy?" Ideally what she wants is someone that is actually interested in her, not someone who is faking an interest. If you don't really care and are not interested why are you with her? She'll assume it's just sex you're after and you don't care about who she is, what makes her tick and what she's interested in.

I'm going to assume that deep down men actually want the same thing, someone who cares about them and who is actually interested in them and who wants to spend time with them. Why do men want that and yet see having to give that in return as game playing?

Because I think most men lack options - because currently and sadly women are by far picker (men should become as picky one day, this is starting to change slowly).

So they do whatever it takes pathetically to maintain this one woman who miraculously (in their perspective) agreed to date them. Pretending to be interested in her interests is typically one of those things.

Surely there would be some common interests though? For me it's more like you'd be ok doing things I want to do sometimes, although I know your not really interested and I'd do the same in return.

I also agree you guys should be more picky. I don't want to settle for someone who doesn't like everything about me, even if we don't have 100% the same interests as I do like down time to, but if they respected that it's fine.

I also think its because from a young age women get programmed that men only want sex, so whatever you do its because you want sex. It took me a while that not all men are like that, but there are still some who are so I guess its really just to protect ourselves.

Yeah, I think that with higher standards people would be alone for longer, but would end up with someone more compatible and therefore be happier.

It's getting a balance between desires and real life, every day living. That's actually quite difficult. I understand why some people give in and just pair up with anyone because they don't want to be alone, but is there more value in waiting, developing yourself and ending up with the right person? I dunno. I guess there's two sides to ever coin.

I've never seen myself as that terribly picky, if anything I should have been more picky than I was early on. For instance if I would have had a rule of no sex on the first date I would have avoided several occasions of being led on.

Speaking of games why do guys lead women on anyways? Do they just assume she can tell you don't want anything serious and are on the same page with that. Why cant they be up front that they aren't looking for any commitment or anything serious? I also just cant believe the last time I let it happen...I guess I am still a little bitter about that though it was a long time ago and now I am in a great relationship. How it ended was I texted that jerk to find out when he wanted to see me again, and he texted back 'oh, I'm sorry Ive found someone else if you want we can get together one last time.'.....yeah, like I was going to go have one last round of sex with a guy who basically just told me I had been discarded, was just something to hold him over. I told him 'alrighty then' and deleted his number out of my phone.
So yeah why do guys play that game?

It's not necessarily being "interested" in your partner's hobbies, but at least being open minded to them and attending with her on occasion.

For example, my partner is interested in astronomy and he goes out with his telescope on warm nights and attends these astronomy things in town.

I like to go to live theater and opera.

I personally couldn't care less about astronomy and he couldn't care less about opera.

But we take turns attending these things with each other sometimes because it's nice to have someone who cares enough to be there with you sometimes. Not because they're interested in that hobby but because they know it's important to your partner.

I guess my question would be why would you want to be with someone if you don't find any of the things that interest them interesting, or if all their interests you haven't been exposed to enough to be interested or disinterested seem totally uninteresting?


hopefully that makes sense, I think that is the most times I've used the words interest/interesting in a post, that would be a mouthful to say out loud.

Because they're probably an interesting and great person otherwise. But I do think that open-mindedness is an essential characteristic as far as romantic relationships are concerned. I'd want to be able to show genuine interest in my partner's hobbies. Faking is something I can't stand, and I'd hate to be in a relationship that's largely based on it.

I didn't mean hobbies. I meant interested in her as a person and wanting to spend time with her.

#edit
and that will involve some compromise because it's probably not realistically possible to meet your exact match. No two people are exactly alike.

But, sometimes people pretend to like someone just so they can be like others and have a relationship. Then one or both get upset because they have to put on and act or the other sees through the act.

I think it's pretty obvious why men do this - it's to get laid.

Men generally will accept anything as long as she looks good.

I knew this guy once who almost married a woman. He later told me he dated her and then asked her to marry him for literally no other reason other than she looked good. But he said he broke it off right before the wedding because he realized that she irritated him and they had nothing in common. He said that he thought looking good was going to be enough. At least he had the sense to wake up.

I

https://mingle2.com/dating/phases

Yeah I've seen that happen too.

The annoying thing is though when men think that her wanting to be loved for real is an act they have to keep up or just a game you play to get a girlfriend.

#notallmen before we get hit by the mods

*/triggered*

*mouse cursor going toward the Report button*

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Oh....Report cancelled.

Good safe.

Brilliant words, Face of Boo! Brilliant words!

That said, I'm at a point where I want nothing to do romantically with a woman who doesn't share my interests. Having her as a friend, no reason not to, provided the friendship is genuine and mutual, and doesn't involve me getting used.

Well I mean like if you have no interests in common, not even any that are vaguely similar and anything they like that you haven't learned much about seems 100% boring...so you would have to be 'faking it' whenever you do an activity together.

Me and my boyfriend have a lot of similar interests, but I've been open minded to the ones I haven't had much exposure to myself. I think at least for me having compatible interests is important. Granted there are some interests we don't share but we have enough in common that we can certainly find things to do that we both like.