Is having a job important in a relationship?If so, why?

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Catmagic101a
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07 Dec 2016, 7:24 pm

I was 18 at the time, I'm 19 now and I was on a dating app once and the exchange I had with a 48 year old with like this.

Me:Hi, do you want to chat?

48 year old:Yes

Me:Good to hear, so, how has your day been so far?

48 year old:Good

48 year old:What are you here looking for?

Me:I'm looking for friends as well as potentially a soulmate.

48 year old:I am looking for relationship

48 year old:What is your job?

Me:I currently don't work but plan to get a job at some local food place or start
waitressing.Long term, I want to be in journalism though.

48 year old:K bye

Is having a job that important in a relationship?



Tim_Tex
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07 Dec 2016, 7:34 pm

It varies from person to person. But having a job is good in general, not just for relationship purposes.


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Luhluhluh
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07 Dec 2016, 7:35 pm

Was this other person aware of your age?

If so, I would say that the job (or the lack thereof) had nothing to do with them ending the chat. I would say, rather, you two are just at completely different stages in life and have nothing at all in common and that other person is aware of that.

Or it could be that they just did not want to chat further because of reasons. Maybe their phone rang; maybe someone was at the door; maybe they had to get the clothes out of the dryer.

There's no way to say for sure.


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Catmagic101a
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07 Dec 2016, 7:42 pm

I assumed they knew my age since they would have seen it right underneath my picture, as for the assumption about why they ended the chat, not having a job just seemed the most likely reason with no explicit explanation given.



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07 Dec 2016, 7:52 pm

It's also entirely possible that this person thought you might be trying to hit him up as a Sugar Daddy. If he's not into that sort of thing, he might end the chat soon.

I think it's most likely that he just didn't think you guys would have anything in common. An unemployed 18 year old is probably not going to have much common ground with a 48 year old.


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neurotypicalET
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07 Dec 2016, 8:06 pm

My theory is that it has nothing to do with you not having a job...more on the kind of job that you like..." Journalism" which to me means your a seeker of truth and is not afraid to share the truth...something that a person with something to hide might avoid...


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Catmagic101a
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07 Dec 2016, 8:18 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
It's also entirely possible that this person thought you might be trying to hit him up as a Sugar Daddy. If he's not into that sort of thing, he might end the chat soon.

I think it's most likely that he just didn't think you guys would have anything in common. An unemployed 18 year old is probably not going to have much common ground with a 48 year old.


I'm not interested in acquiring a sugar daddy but I see how he may have gotten that impression. No, we might not have had a lot in common but since he seemed okay with my age (which again, assumed he knew of) I thought he might already be aware we would be in different stages of life as in fact I wasn't done with high school at the time, though almost.



Catmagic101a
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07 Dec 2016, 8:22 pm

neurotypicalET wrote:
My theory is that it has nothing to do with you not having a job...more on the kind of job that you like..." Journalism" which to me means your a seeker of truth and is not afraid to share the truth...something that a person with something to hide might avoid...


lol, you may be right, I actually have aspirations to be a singer-songwriter as well though, I know journalism is competitive but I'd like for that to be my fallback career if the former doesn't pan out.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Dec 2016, 11:45 pm

Well, yeah...it's about time for men to also start reject women with no job, and that's the right path to equality.
If a jobeless woman around my age chats with me, I would quickly assume she's either a gold digger or wants to be a housewife:
Not interested.



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08 Dec 2016, 12:08 am

I would love to have a housewife. job or no job. but housewife would have to accept not being in a middle-class relationship.



Catmagic101a
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08 Dec 2016, 12:17 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Well, yeah...it's about time for men to also start reject women with no job, and that's the right path to equality.
If a jobeless woman around my age chats with me, I would quickly assume she's either a gold digger or wants to be a housewife:
Not interested.


Well, I'm 19 and in a much different stage of life, I'm not interested in being a sugar baby or a housewife, I'm very ambitious.



Catmagic101a
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08 Dec 2016, 12:19 am

auntblabby wrote:
I would love to have a housewife. job or no job. but housewife would have to accept not being in a middle-class relationship.


I'm not personally interested in that, I want to go to college and pursue my dreams basically.



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08 Dec 2016, 12:46 am

^^^ I capiche. :thumleft:



Catmagic101a
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08 Dec 2016, 1:07 am

I hope you're able to find that perfect housewife though :)



auntblabby
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08 Dec 2016, 1:11 am

thank you :flower:



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08 Dec 2016, 3:05 am

To most people, yes.

Why?

Because it shows you're able to provide for yourself/be self sufficient/earn your way through life etc vs. expecting someone else to pay your way for everything from basic needs to a night out. Also, people may have life plans that include the working capital from theirs and their partner's incomes in order to achieve certain financial or lifestyle goals - ie buying a house together, vacations, a certain quality of life in retirement etc. It also is a very quick assessment of one's ability to manage adult responsibilities. So many reasons, really.

I know people who don't care what someone does for work so long as they're in x-y income range, comparable to their own, so that they're able to keep up with a similar middle class lifestyle. They wouldn't want to date someone operating at a lower level as they wouldn't want the financial burden of paying their way for a night out or a weekend getaway. This makes sense to me for their lifestyle and goals & I don't find it rude or tacky at all.

For me, it's important they're at a level in life where they're doing something whether it's full time work or full time school or some combination regardless of whether they have much disposable income or not. This is especially since I'm attracted to people younger than me and don't expect college aged people to have career type incomes. Further, we live in a very expensive city with very low wages so most regular working class people are broke, anyways. Money to pay for things is nice, as as much as I like to treat someone I don't want to always pay for everything forever. They wouldn't have to necessarily pay half all the time or anything, especially if I like to treat them to something out of their income bracket, but it'd be nice if they chipped in their fair share here and there.. fair share varying, but adjusted to an appropriate amount depending on what they earn vs. what I do.

But yeah, in general people want to date someone to form a relationship as well as financial partnership with, not to adopt a dependant they have to pay for.


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