Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Tips for making it last? NT & aspi

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

MsV
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2015
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 193

05 Jan 2017, 4:14 pm

So this question goes to all WP-ers in long term relationships: any tips on how to ensure it lasts? Just in general really, like the day to day stuff :D
Thanks!! !



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

05 Jan 2017, 6:20 pm

What sort of person is this person you're interested in?



Bridgette77
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 23 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 302
Location: US.

07 Jan 2017, 1:35 am

My best advice is to have patience, and lots of patience with your partner. Also, don't try to change the person you are with, but accept them as they are. However, if they are abusive in anyway, no one should stay in that sort of mess, in any relationship. The two main things to remember in this case though, are, patience, and acceptance. I've also done a lot of reading to try to understand as much as I can about the Autism Spectrum, but always remember, everyone is different, so no one is going to fit into a mold. It's just a kind of small rough sketch to follow in times when you need some direction, I think. There are times when there will be struggles and tears, but the happy times will win out, if you find a good partner, and work together! :)



MsV
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2015
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 193

07 Jan 2017, 7:41 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
What sort of person is this person you're interested in?


Hey kraftie,

Just in general really, like assessing whether or not I would be capable of sustaining a long term relationship.
I seem to somehow make men insecure because I've been independent for so long and don't 'need' them to 'survive' and would like to know how to avoid doing that.

Plus just in broad terms, how does a relationship succeed. I haven't had the best examples. :lol:



MsV
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2015
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 193

07 Jan 2017, 7:45 am

Bridgette77 wrote:
My best advice is to have patience, and lots of patience with your partner. Also, don't try to change the person you are with, but accept them as they are. However, if they are abusive in anyway, no one should stay in that sort of mess, in any relationship. The two main things to remember in this case though, are, patience, and acceptance. I've also done a lot of reading to try to understand as much as I can about the Autism Spectrum, but always remember, everyone is different, so no one is going to fit into a mold. It's just a kind of small rough sketch to follow in times when you need some direction, I think. There are times when there will be struggles and tears, but the happy times will win out, if you find a good partner, and work together! :)


Thanks so much Bridgette,
I'm the one on the spectrum and though I've gotten quite proficient at flying under the radar re that fact, it's harder to do in continuous contact situations. Thanks for your advice, will definitely keep it in mind! :D



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

07 Jan 2017, 7:56 am

The best thing is if you have a sexual attraction to the man (unless you're not into sex at all). Make sure he knows you're attracted to him.

Make sure you seem interested in what the man has to say during conversations.

Make sure he knows you identify and agree with what he has to say, if you do agree.

Don't say anything which implies you're superior to the man, even if you are superior in some ways. But don't make yourself seem dumber, either. Show your intelligence.

Make sure you do things together which you both enjoy.

Don't talk about "the relationship" too much. Just talk about common interests.

If you're busy, tell him you really like/love him....but that you need your space to get necessary stuff done. Caress him a little before you start being busy, if you feel like it.

Make sure you both are clean--body and clothes.

Don't boss him around, or allow him to boss you around.



Bridgette77
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 23 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 302
Location: US.

10 Jan 2017, 1:07 pm

MsV wrote:
Bridgette77 wrote:
My best advice is to have patience, and lots of patience with your partner. Also, don't try to change the person you are with, but accept them as they are. However, if they are abusive in anyway, no one should stay in that sort of mess, in any relationship. The two main things to remember in this case though, are, patience, and acceptance. I've also done a lot of reading to try to understand as much as I can about the Autism Spectrum, but always remember, everyone is different, so no one is going to fit into a mold. It's just a kind of small rough sketch to follow in times when you need some direction, I think. There are times when there will be struggles and tears, but the happy times will win out, if you find a good partner, and work together! :)


Thanks so much Bridgette,
I'm the one on the spectrum and though I've gotten quite proficient at flying under the radar re that fact, it's harder to do in continuous contact situations. Thanks for your advice, will definitely keep it in mind! :D


You are welcome, and you could always pass the advice along to your partner in that case. Kraftie gave the best advice, as he usually does. He's good at this stuff. I love his advice. It's usually spot on.