Hopeless, miserable, empty...I still need to get over a high school crush for Cthulhu's sake--if you can call it a crush. It was an uber major one that has lasted like 3 years and only gotten worse despite repeated attempts to get over her, and despite the fact that she's now in college in another state. (Limerence sucks.) What makes it worse is that you'd think that since she's not into boys, the hopelessness of the situation would be overpowering enough to make the feelings fade away, and for about a month I thought they had, but then one day I was lying down awake at night, and I was thinking, and I realized..."Oh, s**t, I still like her." THAT is made even worse by the fact that I am now, quite frankly, an unintentional liar, because since she did want to remain friends with me, I told her that my feelings had faded away, something I truly believed at the time. And I can't tell her what I've found to be the truth now. Angst ensues!
And that's just one sub-plot in a tapestry of depressive girl-related angst. That's not even getting into my ridiculous obsession with an unlikely ideal, or any college-related misery, or my difficulty in approaching girls, or the way I only seem to romantically attract girls that I don't have any interest in. OH, THE TRAGEDY OF IT ALL! OH, THE TORMENT! It's gotten so bloody repetitive that I've resorted to sarcastic self-parody!