Red flags in dating? Early stages

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Ok since I failed to notice these again,
What are some of the red flags early on that should not be ignored.
For example, hindsight being 20/20
- saying any guy who shows you kindness is just trying to get in your pants
- completely ignoring any boundaries you set
- telling you the way you're feeling isn't really what you feel and replacing your description with the 'correct one' - even though it's not
- putting you on an unrealistic pedestal very early on - including saying "I love you" within a week
- saying it's so cute when you tell them you're not ok with their behavior
- wanting to make all of your decisions for you
- blaming AS for me not wanting to be on chat with them 24/7 (due to work)
I'm sure I have forgotten a lot of them but any other ones you can provide would be great.
Maybe I just suck at this and should stay single...

For other people, a red flag is if you're thinking about dating me.

There are definitely true gentleman out there.

They might think: "I find this woman attractive. I wouldn't mind it if we made love. But, even if we don't happen to establish a relationship, I'll treat her well, anyway, for the sake of common decency, and to make us both feel good."

A "red flag" would be a guy insisting that you be in contact with him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. A big "red flag."

Rope, lube and duct tape in their passenger seat.

Rush to be in a relationship.

Willing to buy everything for you and do nice things for you and not ever expecting you to pay for anything nor having a job. Love bombing, this is a trap even though it's not always a red flag but this is a tactic abusers use to lure their victim and then they are codependent.

If a man says who he really is even if he is saying how much of an as*hole he is, believe him

Having critical opinions of you and other people and judgmental of everything

Their home is a mess or their room. If this is how they live, don't expect them to be clean when you are married to them. Who needs a slob? You will be doing all the work and they do nothing. I am not talking about trash being full or some dishes being in the sink or some stuff being out of place. That is part of living. I am talking about where they never ever clean and there is trash thrown all over and dirty dishes scattered everywhere and bathrooms not being cleaned in months and the floors and stuff an dirty clothes tossed all over and counters being a mess and never wiped down and the stove never been cleaned. Yuck.

Smelling like smoke and their home and car. I will not date a smoker and smell like smoke myself of they smoke indoors.

Low self esteem

No job and no driver's license, though not always a red flag but it was in my personal experience and I didn't pick up on it

No motivation in life

Poor money management, never saves and will spend it whenever they have money than saving it to use later for bills and when they are in fact struggling to live and they act like they have more money than they really do

Very clingy, doesn't ever want you to leave when you go to work and go home and always wants you around and even if you want to go to bed, they want you to stay up with them no matter how tired you are

Already saying they love you when you had just met and haven't even known each other for a while

Expects you to stay with your word even if s**t happens and then they act dumb about it by going "but you said..."

Ignores you when you don't act the way they want you to act until you act the way they want you to act

No empathy and understanding about other peoples problems and s**t happening to them

Using slurs and making fun of people about stuff they do they don't like

Very picky and complain about petty stuff in restaurants

Deliberately doing things to piss someone off, my ex intentionally withheld rent from his landlord until the date she wanted her rent by just to make her mad. It wads due on the 1st but he didn't have his money until the middle of the month and she wanted it by the 20th so he waited until that day to give it to her.

Calling anything a game they don't like

Having double standards

Broken promises and procrastination

No understanding of your problems and getting mad at you about them and when you even try to talk to them about your relationship and what is bothering you

In hindsight, the red flags on my first GF were so big they could have been seen from space. The worst part is KNEW something was off from the moment I viewed her profile (after she messaged me on a certain free dating site). Here are a few red flags I ignored:
* Her profile was bitter and complained about how men are all jerks
* She never had a photo and when she finally sent one it was very blurry
* Her Facebook feed looked like a psychotic person (how right that was!) and she practically weekly had a new "found an amazing guy!! !" post, not to mention all the cryptic posts designed to get attention
* She had HUNDREDS of pictures of her (parent's) dog posted
* She had no license, lied to me about wanting one and had no job and might have made $500 in our entire relationship
* She dropped out of school FOR THE FOURTH TIME a month into our relationship! She later dropped out two more times and to my knowledge, finally completed a year of college at age 26.
* She wanted to be exclusive on the third date and constantly texted she was "worried about scarying(sp) me away". I was just as foolish here too by jumping in immediately and saying I loved her
* When she finally paid on the fourth date, she didn't tip at all and got irate that the sweet and kind 16-17 year old waitress was "hitting on me".
* She texted sometimes 8-10 times in a row and would get angry if I didn't respond right away (even if I was busy) and eventually texted up to 50 times a day. When she was angry (and it happened a lot) she would call 10-12 times in a row to the point I would have to unplug the phone.
* She cried ALL.THE.TIME. and she would flip out over something as simple as me being 2 minutes late. This usually led to a two hour screaming session
* When we "did it" the second time she ran out of the room screaming and crying and refused to talk about it
* Stole my shirt and it took several tried to get it back
* Was utterly obsessed with me giving her a "promise ring"
* She was overweight but not in a "genetic" way: she just didn't care
* Had ZERO empathy and it was surreal trying to get her to understand things
* She never ate and was ALWAYS sick!
Finally, she once went completely berserk out of the blue when I was planning on going out while she was sick. I should have called 911 but instead I stayed with her another year The neighbours, probably fed up with us called 911 a while later on me and rightfully so I might add.

All those red flags occurred in the first two months of dating GF#1. As for GF #2

* She was always late responding to my texts, usually by 4-6 hours
* She was always with her friends
* She seemed to want to take things at a snail's pace
* She always seemed uncomfortable around me.
* She was an elementary school teacher (there are a TON of single teachers in my city especially in younger grades and I later began to understand there is a reason for it).

She was a nice person but it was obvious in hindsight she was NOT ready for a relationship despite being a few months older than me. She also had no idea how men work and meeting her only know ex boyfriend sealed it. He is much like me and I consider him a friend.

GF #3 (now Wife)
Edit: Her age and lack of a stable long term relationship (i.e. just like me)!

The biggest thing in dating is to TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS and never make a decision based on fear or you will regret it.

None of my ex's were smokers to be honest but if anyone smells like smoke, red flag because I know that there are smokers that do smoke in their house and car so if that is how they smell, that is how their home and car smells too. I know of smokers who do smoke but their homes do not smell that way nor their clothes because they do it outside or in the smoking room. But the rest were my personal experience except my ex's room was a mess because he lived with his parents and the rest of the house was normal because his parents cleaned it.