Need some advice,

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Hello, first post here. It's nice to finally find a site like this. I'm really confused right now. Here's the short version: I had a really good friend in high school until I had to move towards the end of our sophomore year. She was pretty much perfect in my eyes, a really nice person, great personality, caring and beautiful on top of all that. We'd known each other for about a year and a half when I moved, but had never been more than friends. I wanted to tell her how I felt, that I loved her (crazy as that sounds), before I left, but I could never figure out how to say it, so I decided to wing it if I hadn't made up my mind by my last day there. Of course, with my luck, she wasn't there. Before that though we had decided to stay in touch and she gave me her address, so I told her how I felt in a letter after I moved, and then never heard from her again. Honestly, I was scared to death when I wrote the letter and it freaked her out too. I've done some stupid things, but falling in love with my best friend ranks right up there.... We started talking again about a year ago (8 years later, we're both 24 now) after I saw her profile on MySpace. I apologized for scaring her away and it seemed like she understood (I wasn't diagnosed with AS until a little over a year ago). Lately though it seems like she has been avoiding me. I understand that she's been busy with grad school, but it doesn't take long to write an e-mail. Now I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her as a friend again by pushing too hard, but I can't appologize if I don't know what I said that was wrong, if anything. I was just happy to be friends again and now I'm scared that I did something to drive her away one more time. Any ideas on what I should do? I must not have said anything too terrible, I'm still on her friends list lol. I just don't know what she wants to hear. Thanks.

forget about her and move one , she doesn't deserve to be your gf nor your friend because she is too coward to admit that she doesn't like you.

sounds like you have low self-confidence. you think you may have done something wrong? if she does not answer you, it is because you are not worth answering. then, she is not worth getting your attention.

if she doesn't answer your message, maybe you might try to write a new one. although, never ask things like, 'could you tell me what i did wrong?'. that would be a sign of low self-confidence and she won't like it. but never write more than two emails in row. sometimes it happens to me, that i forget to reply, but never after second message.

good luck.

She probably has a lot of friends and a lot of stuff going on in her life.
I have had friends who meant much more to me than I did to them and it hurt to realise that.
I guess she is NT so I would send her the occasional email just chatting about general stuff in your life not anything about feelings or about wanting to know what she is doing, thinking or feeling. Just stuff like 'I did x at the weekend' or 'I am going to x next week', then she might have a common interest with something and reply.

Be honest, tell her you concerns and get some closure.

one day a girl told me : "I want to tell a secret about girls"
me : what is it ?
her : usually girls love to feel that they have fan(s) attached to them , that 's why they never admit it to them that they don't like them back
me: aha
her: they even like to not give them too much attention because they love to see how their fans are trying to follow them and getting their attention.



that explain it all ....don't be played

I realized that was a problem too, that she means more to me than I do to her. She has been pretty busy. She just finished her masters in counseling and it sounds like she'll start working on her doctorate this fall I guess. She is NT. I just feel weird writing to her randomly, especially when she only writes back once a month, if that. I'm just happy that we're friends again and I don't want to risk that by pushing too hard. We'll see I guess. Thanks.

I agree with LePetitPrince.
Forget about her; move on and if she doesn't want you around her in RL or online because of her responsibilities BUT I am also glad that you and her have made up.
Don't go overboard with random emails/phone calls because she may take you for a stalker.
Good luck.

im terrible at keeping in contact with ppl...

nothin personal... i always make it part of my agenda for the day... but somethin always comes up

ive lost many friends this way

maybe just try askin her what's up

Yeah. I've lost every friend I've had.
Even misplaced my wife. And
it's absolutely what I don't want to
do, but I just lose touch. Had some
old HS friends try and contact me, and
I made an effort to respond to every
post - still, I haven't heard from them
in a while.

Stopped all contact with my folks this
way too.

Thanks for the replies. There's one other thing I'm wondering about. I still have some questions about what happened back then, but I don't know how to ask and I'm afraid I might scare her away by going anywhere near the subject. Among other things, she made it seem like she stopped writing back in high school because she thought I was hitting on her rather than because I told her I loved her. I'd like to know the answer, but not at the risk of losing her again. Any ideas?

i would wait...
few more years. i don't think there is any suitable way at this stage.

Hey well done for telling her - that's cool. You told her how you feel wicked ! Better that than hiding it away and wondering what would have happened.

Yes so it didn't work, don't worry man you did the right thing.

Good luck !