Do I actually have a chance with my classmate in College?

Post Reply New Topic

Yes, he's back... That one clueless guy who knows zilch about chicks and social rules has returned... I know you must be thrilled... Anyway, Yahoo Answers isn't functioning properly right now, so I have to resort to posting my stupid question here. Just give me a straightforward, blunt, step-by-step answer. I don't care if your answer is rude, sexist, offensive, or whatever. JUST SHOOT. I know I'm probably screwed anyway but here's the lowdown:

I'm currently taking this lame 2 hour job-hunting class in a small College for 8 weeks, and there's this beautiful Mexican girl with glasses who sits a few tables in front of me.

Next time before or after class, I wanna tell her that I have a crush on her and ask for her number, but I'm scared of somehow screwing up for the millionth time and I can't ever seem to find the time to actually talk to her because usually someone else is around.

Besides, even if she's single and I do get her number, I wouldn't even know where we could meet up for a date in the middle of winter in the suburbs. She lives miles away from where I live. Plus I don't have a car yet and my parents don't drive.

I'll probably get lied to and ripped off and she won't answer my texts/phone calls like 95% of all the other girls I've dealt with for the simple fact that I happen to be a stranger.

I mean, I have a crush on her, but why should I even bother? What if I get jipped again? What's in it for me? Nothing, right? All I want is a girlfriend, I'm not asking for much! This shouldn't be complicated, but even when I do everything right, they make everything difficult!

Knowing me, I'll probably eventually work the nerve to talk to her anyway and get her number while we're alone, then when I text or call, she'll either make an excuse or stop answering when I try to make arrangements.

Do you have any advice? Could there possibly be a way to turn her into my girlfriend?

Last edited by AspieGuy96 on 02 Feb 2017, 9:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Have you talked to her at all?

(I'm back. Sorry for the delay.) No, I haven't had the chance to talk to her without the classmates around.

Okay well... It's okay to give it a shot, but a lot of women prefer to go out with guys who have made the effort in getting to know them a bit better before asking them for their number or asking them out.

If I were in your shoes, I would spend this time actually speaking directly to her, get to know her one on one while you're in class BEFORE asking for her number. You might have more success that way.

(try to imagine it from her perspective - some guy she's never spoken to asking for her phone number. It's off putting. That's why we lie and give out a fake number. We don't know you and you've never said anything to us. Just talk to us. We're not alien creatures.)

It won't put us guys off, we would give our real number right away if the girl is ok looking.



Actually....yes, men and women are aliens to each other, our brains wiring and brain structures are really different. We live in two different worlds, and each gender keep their secrets and there are many stuff that one gender don't talk about in front of other gender (ie. the way many men talk in men-only group is totally different than when there's female presence).
We think differently in almost every way and in every thing, we react differently to many things; I mean look at the example above in this very post.

The brain differences between men and women is even, at least by simple visual examination, is greater than the brain differences between NT and Aspies of same gender (which is barely noticeable and still not confirmed).

So in short, yes, you are aliens to the men:p.

And the more I get older the more I see how different women and men are from each other, not the opposite.

Mexicans, and Latinas in general, are not like you the Anglo culture (US, UK, Oz, NZ...are really all one big culture with slight differences). If she's culturally mexican then she's most likely living with parents too.

They typically don’t move out of their parents’ home until one of three things happens:
They decide to study in another part of the country or in another country
They get a job in another part of the country or in any other country
They get married

However, not having a car might be a off putting for her.

Ok, anyway just talk to her a bit, don't ask for her number the first time, break the ice first, do it maybe at the third or fourth time.

I found out that many women are much more willing to give their real facebook and add you too, it's stupid I know (because it's even more dangerous than giving a real number), it seems, for some odd reason that I cannot understand, they automatically equate asking for social media contact to platonic friendship/networking while they equate asking for number to romantic interest. Weird, very weird....aliens!

But it's true.

Well then probably you don't. It might be good if you decided to talk with her and see if she likes you before you ask her out.

Ok, a couple of things:

First off, the chances of asking any given girl out and actually getting a date are extremely low. You should never expect that to work out. However, it IS reasonable to assume that there is AT LEAST ONE girl out there who WILL go out with you. The more girls you ask out, the odds of finding that girl exponentially increase to a near-certainty. And with experience you'll find you can artificially boost those odds. Start talking to this girl. Get to know her. After a week or two, buy her lunch or something.

The other thing is you suffer from a severe lack of independence. Learn to drive. Get a job, diligently save until you have about USA $3k or so. Buy a beater. The more freedom you have to move around, the more options you have.

Okay, except that's not what I said. I said imagine it from HER perspective. Some guy who has never talked to her asks for her number. Not likely that she's going to give it to you if you're just some guy who's never spoken a word to her and now is suddenly asking for her number.

And no, we're not alien creatures because we're wired differently. We put our pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. The differences are biology - eggs are expensive, sperm not so much. Women are generally smaller and more likely to feel threatened - so easy to see why we'd feel wary when some guy who has never spoken to us asks for our number. You're going to get further with us if you just show us you're non-threatening and TALK TO US. What's the worst thing that's going to happen if you say hello to her??

If an extremely muscular, 6 ft 8 gay man capable of lifting me off the ground let alone rape me without needing a weapon, did it, I'd feel flattered and say no thank you politely.

I'd only feel uncomfortable if he didn't leave me alone and/or followed me.

I am actually bisexual, though I have no interest in men taller or stronger.

Us men really don't tend to see it the same as you, so yeah don't ask men 'how would you feel if a woman did x creepy behavior?' - it won't work on many of us.

The worst thing? He says it in an extremely awkward way due to nervousness, she realizes he has a crush on her, is creeped out, decides to sit away from him and threaten to report him if he sits near her or tries to speak with her for 'harrasment', and asks her brother who is also a student to keep an eye on him, thereby making Aspieguys anxiety even worse and making him accidentally come across suspicious, confirming her beliefs that he is shady and not to be trusted. She warns her friends/classmates about him.

But I still agree with you to talk to and get to know her, doesn't mean I can't assess The risks.

Jesus Christ Outrider. You are a thoughtful guy. But you really are over-dramatic and exaggerate things. Just calm down for a minute.

Even if a girl knows you have a crush on her the main thing that will happen is that she will be taken aback and she will sound nervous/unwilling to talk to you. Its not something terrible and likely she wouldn't dislike you.

With that in mind we need to stop judging people based on one incident and let people become adjusted to interaction.

Sorry, but it isn't a business transaction. If you don't see results, you aren't "ripped off".

That said, you have nothing to lose and a possibility to gain.

In my case, as 5'3, there are a lot of women bigger than me. Would you feel as threatened if a smaller man asks you out?

If he had never spoken a word to me in public and all of a sudden wants my phone number out of the blue, yes, I would be weirded out.

Have you ever noticed that it's mostly the men who are the ones shooting up mosques and churches and schools? That's because some of you are unhinged. And we can't tell just by looking at you.

Look you've got women here telling you how we would prefer you to approach us and yet you don't want to hear it. Why bother asking the question then? Just do whatever you want and keep wondering why it doesn't work.