When do Standards become Shallowness?

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I think everyone, man or woman, has standards when it comes to dating. You'd like to date someone with this, but prefer that they don't have that. You'll never date anyone who has this, but you also wouldn't consider dating someone who doesn't have that. Such as, I'd like to date a supermodel, but if she isn't one that's not a deal breaker. I will date someone who's overweight, but not someone who's morbidly obese. But that makes me wonder, at what point do standards become shallowness? Everyone says that at least a little bit of physical attraction is necessary for a relationship to work, but they also say that once you love someone they'll always be beautiful no matter how they look. So (hypothetically) if I met a woman whose personality I found attractive, but was morbidly obese to the point that I absolutely could not find her physically attractive, would I be shallow for turning down a date with her, or would I just be upholding my personal standards?

If you're a man you're shallow, if you're a woman you have standards. The only difference.

^ Jeez, me too I was about to say "if you are a male".

Simple - the person who meets the criteria calls them standards (unless the person doesn't meet THEIR standards), and the person who doesn't meet the standards thinks they're shallow.

Everyone has standards, but someone who cannot pick contextually is "shallow."

Someone with standards can reject many offers before they accept one, and end up with something close to what they are looking for.

A shallow person can also reject many offers before they settle for one, but end up with something that only looked perfect.

Shallow means stressing several superficial qualities. Having standards means insisting on a limited number of substantive and justifiable minimums.

This guy I knew way back when... he said to me, "The difference between friend and girlfriend is that you want to make out with your girlfriend." To not want to be physically involved with someone you are not attracted to is not shallow... it's how most people operate in relationships with others. Now if you were saying that you would not even speak to the girl or be her friend due to her weight, yeah that would be potentially shallow.

I'm not sure that I would call not dating obese people a standard though, it seems more like a preference... and there is nothing wrong with having preferences when it comes to selecting people you want to have romantic type relationships with. I mean, you cannot change what you do and do not find attractive.

I think some of the difference is that with shallowness you resent the person for being the way they are; you look down on them for having something or not having something.