Deciphering Some women's Valentine boasting on Social Media

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Hidden messages behind such boasting baffle me entirely, they don't get enough putting more pressure on their men every year.

For instance, there was one of my contacts (a woman) on facebook, she posted a boasting about her husband's valentine gift - a vacation week ticket to Germany, with a title literally saying (translated): "Now THIS is what I call a REAL Valentines gift - either a gift like this or nothing!".

The hidden message is very clear here, it means: that regular valentines gifts, like flowers, candies, and even fancy dinners are no more "real" gifts for her, and that next year the gift her man must buy for her cannot be less than that caliber from now on, something not less expensive than a week vacation or else....it is not a real gift.

And this boasting on a social media in front of all family, her friends and his friends also impose more social pressure on the man to keep up this quality of gifts in the coming years.

Same logic and attitude would apply to other occasions, such as birthdays, marriage anniversary....etc.

I have seen few such kinds of boasting of expensive gifts lately - more and more show off and greed!

Is it not because she is really really happy and excited about the present and really proud of him because he made such an effort?

It's not suprising wanting to share something that's good

Buying a plane ticking and booking for hotel don't require any effort, it's all done online nowadays.

The only "effort" here, is the money.

My partner and I write scrappy little love notes to each other.

Now, THAT'S what I call a REAL Valentine's Day gift.

A trip to Germany would stress me the hell out.

The holiday is for both of them, isn't it?

I think that's a rather sweet gift because that kind of thing makes memories instead of just being an object.

It would be fun going to little cafes together and seeing the sites together.

But it's the thought behind it. Wanting to see the world with the person he loves,wanting to have an adventure together.

Don't get me wrong I think it's excessive for valentines but I think it could be more of blissfull ignorance than intentionally cruel bragging. Of course I don't know the woman so I could be wrong.

Lack of creativity and humble brags aside, what healthy couple wouldn't want to go touring and seeing sites??
C'mon!

She could do it without being a douche. Like "look THIS is a real gift now att that s*it guys usually buy. What an idiot she is, and a gold digger.

Yes, and there are also legal wh*rehouses in Germany!

None is saying that touring is bad.

^^ Yeah, all the posters above you have completely missed the point.

But TheSpectrum is usually sarcastic, I am sure he got it.

Sounds like the type of person i'd rather not associate with.

And they have been married for like 2-3 years, and before that were engaged....

My first thought was when i read this "So all his previous gifts were not real and cheap for your standards?" - I would have felt kinda insulted if I was her husband.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 14 Feb 2017, 1:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Completely agree, OP.

It's the same as "If my partner proposed with a ring that small, I'd be furious". All about image and how the relationship looks to other people, rather than how the relationship actually is. Which suggests that the relationship really isn't all that great. Otherwise, she'd be secure enough not to feel the need to brag about it.

There is nothing wrong with her if she is excited about the gift and eager to share that she is elated. So long as she understands the day is not about gifts or even how grand a gift may be. It's about loving one another, and showing others we appreciate them.

This thread reminds me a little of According to Jim's episode "The tale of the tape". Other girls will see the FB post and do "the look" to their bfs, lol.

The gift is a great idea; and fine if she wants to show off.
But the problem is her words - not in the gift, not in her bragging.