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Aspie BF broke up with me due to anxiety

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0013
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05 Feb 2017, 2:10 am

I'm sure there's nothing I can do about it, but anyway -
I started dating a really wonderful aspie guy about three months ago. I was well aware of his diagnosis, and in addition he has a few other issues as well, including severe anxiety. These, for me, are not big enough problems to preclude my interest or scare me away; I was well aware what I was getting into, but I liked him regardless for his prodigious intelligence and wit. We really hit it off - he told me he felt lucky that he had met me and was grateful for how accepting I was of his quirks. Last week he apparently had a severe anxiety attack. We had a wonderful time together today, but it ended with him telling me he was just too much of a mental mess to have any business dating and needed to figure his brain out before he could validate trying again. He said he didn't want to be in a relationship that involved me allowing his (paraphrasing) mental instability and whims to force me to just come along for the ride. He is planning on getting mental help very soon, but he insists that if he continues to see me he will do something hurtful and he doesn't want to be responsible for that. I know he likes me a lot, and I don't want to give up on him, but my appeals to his logic seem to fall on deaf ears due to his illness. I'm very sad. He says he'd like to be friends but he doesn't want me to put my life on hold on his account when he isn't sure if he'll ever get better. Is there anything I should do other than give him space?



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05 Feb 2017, 4:37 am

All I'm going to tell you is that the medical-industry is never going to get anywhere with so-called psychological or psychiatric-issues for as long as they continue to adhere to the Materialist-oriented model of reality.

That having been said, I have come across a number of cases and even people who used to post on these boards, that hypno-therapy was one of the few things if not the only thing that worked for their psychological-anomalies where-as all other methods and treatments that they had tried had always been nothing but failures.


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05 Feb 2017, 4:57 am

Ban-Dodger wrote:
All I'm going to tell you is that the medical-industry is never going to get anywhere with so-called psychological or psychiatric-issues for as long as they continue to adhere to the Materialist-oriented model of reality.

That having been said, I have come across a number of cases and even people who used to post on these boards, that hypno-therapy was one of the few things if not the only thing that worked for their psychological-anomalies where-as all other methods and treatments that they had tried had always been nothing but failures.
What are you even talking about.



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05 Feb 2017, 5:08 am

Are my posts really that disorganised and unclear to understand ? I apologise for that... here...


The point I am making is that the most-effective treatments for mental-issues that I have ever come across in my last two decades of observations and research always falls into the category of hypnotherapy or similar.
Shahunshah wrote:
Ban-Dodger wrote:
All I'm going to tell you is that the medical-industry is never going to get anywhere with so-called psychological or psychiatric-issues for as long as they continue to adhere to the Materialist-oriented model of reality.

That having been said, I have come across a number of cases and even people who used to post on these boards, that hypno-therapy was one of the few things if not the only thing that worked for their psychological-anomalies where-as all other methods and treatments that they had tried had always been nothing but failures.
What are you even talking about.

0013 wrote:
Is there anything I should do other than give him space?

I must address this now. Please excuse me for addressing the man earlier rather than you. Simply being his «friend» for now becomes your optimum option for being closest to him. I realise that you might want more but some Aspies are only able to transition into relationships in stages (acquaintance into eventual friend, into eventual best friend, into eventual more-than-friends, etc). This might make him «trusting» you easier. Perhaps you could just have a «friendly» discussion and even broach the subject of hypnotherapy and let him figure out the rest himself.


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Shahunshah
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05 Feb 2017, 5:17 am

Ban-Dodger wrote:
Are my posts really that disorganised and unclear to understand ? I apologise for that... here...

The point I am making is that the most-effective treatments for mental-issues that I have ever come across in my last two decades of observations and research always falls into the category of hypnotherapy or similar.
Shahunshah wrote:
Ban-Dodger wrote:
All I'm going to tell you is that the medical-industry is never going to get anywhere with so-called psychological or psychiatric-issues for as long as they continue to adhere to the Materialist-oriented model of reality.

That having been said, I have come across a number of cases and even people who used to post on these boards, that hypno-therapy was one of the few things if not the only thing that worked for their psychological-anomalies where-as all other methods and treatments that they had tried had always been nothing but failures.
What are you even talking about.

You really don't have any kind of evidence for that as actually being the case. It is kind of just out of the blue and I certainly have not heard it being recommended for the many people I know whom have social anxiety.

This person is trying to deal with a real life issue here. All you are doing now is taking people aback like I have seen you do many times. I recommend you move on.



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05 Feb 2017, 6:10 am

I have plenty of evidence I can reference & the reason you don't hear about it that often is for the same reasons you don't hear of cures for cancer in the mainstream; just because YOU haven't heard about it doesn't make it non-existent. Your reference to the «real-life issues» also makes it out that you're trying to paint out references to the sub-conscious mind to be some sort of video-game rather than trying to understand anything.

Shahunshah wrote:
You really don't have any kind of evidence for that as actually being the case. It is kind of just out of the blue and I certainly have not heard it being recommended for the many people I know whom have social anxiety.


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07 Feb 2017, 9:45 am

0013 wrote:
I'm sure there's nothing I can do about it, but anyway -
I started dating a really wonderful aspie guy about three months ago. I was well aware of his diagnosis, and in addition he has a few other issues as well, including severe anxiety. These, for me, are not big enough problems to preclude my interest or scare me away; I was well aware what I was getting into, but I liked him regardless for his prodigious intelligence and wit. We really hit it off - he told me he felt lucky that he had met me and was grateful for how accepting I was of his quirks. Last week he apparently had a severe anxiety attack. We had a wonderful time together today, but it ended with him telling me he was just too much of a mental mess to have any business dating and needed to figure his brain out before he could validate trying again. He said he didn't want to be in a relationship that involved me allowing his (paraphrasing) mental instability and whims to force me to just come along for the ride. He is planning on getting mental help very soon, but he insists that if he continues to see me he will do something hurtful and he doesn't want to be responsible for that. I know he likes me a lot, and I don't want to give up on him, but my appeals to his logic seem to fall on deaf ears due to his illness. I'm very sad. He says he'd like to be friends but he doesn't want me to put my life on hold on his account when he isn't sure if he'll ever get better. Is there anything I should do other than give him space?


Does he have trust issues with you? Does he have paranoia?



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07 Feb 2017, 11:07 am

0013 wrote:
I'm sure there's nothing I can do about it, but anyway -
I started dating a really wonderful aspie guy about three months ago. I was well aware of his diagnosis, and in addition he has a few other issues as well, including severe anxiety. These, for me, are not big enough problems to preclude my interest or scare me away; I was well aware what I was getting into, but I liked him regardless for his prodigious intelligence and wit. We really hit it off - he told me he felt lucky that he had met me and was grateful for how accepting I was of his quirks. Last week he apparently had a severe anxiety attack. We had a wonderful time together today, but it ended with him telling me he was just too much of a mental mess to have any business dating and needed to figure his brain out before he could validate trying again. He said he didn't want to be in a relationship that involved me allowing his (paraphrasing) mental instability and whims to force me to just come along for the ride. He is planning on getting mental help very soon, but he insists that if he continues to see me he will do something hurtful and he doesn't want to be responsible for that. I know he likes me a lot, and I don't want to give up on him, but my appeals to his logic seem to fall on deaf ears due to his illness. I'm very sad. He says he'd like to be friends but he doesn't want me to put my life on hold on his account when he isn't sure if he'll ever get better. Is there anything I should do other than give him space?


I would give him space to be honest. If he wants to be with you and loves you he will come back to you.

Just make sure he knows you are there if he needs you :)



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07 Feb 2017, 11:15 am

You may be able to gently guide or help him out with his mental health issues.
Stuff like locating a doctor he can go to.
Aspies typically have executive function issues. It can be hard for them to get started on stuff they need to do.
They also tend to be very smart in some areas but stupid in others. He might not have any idea on how to access a good doctor. You may be able to help.
Medications for controlling anxiety are very common. If he goes on one of them it is a very good idea for you to be friends if there is nobody else to check up on him for side effects.