Having a Tall GF may have caused insecurity for me

Post Reply New Topic

Well my partner and I in srs relationship for more than 2 years.... I don't know why, but sometimes I feel insecure about my height because we're almost the same height (I'm 180.5 and shes 178 that's dead on 5'11 and 5'10 respectively for you americans) anyway it comes down to love there's no question... we love each other dearly I just wish sometimes I was taller and frankly she told me several times she wished to be shorter I guess

I had an ex who was like 162 cm that's like 5'3 with slim build and I could pick her up and carry her which is something I can't do with my current GF (and no she's not overweight what so ever, it's me being underweight actually because winter=laziness no excersize... and not much time to cook cause exams at uni right now and busy schedule is living independently so yeah)

What do you think peeps? as girls or dudes?

I'm not lacking in confidence as I'm in general a very confident and social guy, but on that department yeah I guess kinda when I sometimes think about it... it's also because I used to work out and be in good shape and I lost a lot of weight due to bad nutrition... My weight is not deteriotaing and my BMI is only 21 but still this is low for a guy (I think, cause I was told 23 or 25 is best I don't remember)

I'm not asking for advice as I am not ranting or desperate whatsoever, I am going thru some very good times right now but I would like to hear what you feel from your past experiences and relationships, and get some input as to what other people feel regarding themselves or their significant others... cheers

My fiance is very skinny (he hates it) and sometimes it makes me feel like a fat lump. But i have to remember it's my own insecurity amd it's not his fault.

That's another issue a lot of couples have to deal with - weight differences. Males are mostly accepted to be "bigger" and I know quite a few women that would like to have a BF with some mass and not even a six pack... But when I'm at the same weight as my GF and I'm a dude, I can pretty much fit in most of her clothes if they are not skinny jeans/minis or some ultra girly stuff, But I do burrow her pajamas and track suits fit perfectly on me lol (obviously only at home haha)... the feel to just be bigger than her is probably something inherited from all of those Hollywood movies and commercials, especially animated ones in which a couple of often grotesquely and stereotypically drawn.

It's common for men to desire a short partner and women a tall one. I have been told that when a women has a tall man then she can wear the high heels she likes and still be small. But beyond that I am sure there is some biological reasons. Tall men are likely to be strong and able to protect offspring perhaps.

I had a good friend in high school who was a very tall female. Her whole family was tall she was fighting genetics. Her brothers were as big as 6'8. So it makes sense to me that 5'10 makes your girlfriend feel big.

At your height there are plenty of women you would tower over but you don't love those women. So long term I guess you just have to accept the body you have.

For chrissakes----you're 5 foot 11! That's above-average height for most ethnic groups in the world.

Man o Man.....how I wish I was that height!

I'm 5 foot 4.75.

This is silly, OP, seriously.

I may understand if it was a first time dating a taller woman in your life, but after 2 years of relationship? Seriously?

Yeah well I know everything including height and weight is "relative" but still relatively speaking, that's how I feel. Boo, if you think it is silly and you have nothing to contribute just don't...Otherwise I'd be more than happy to hear what you actually have to say. It shows you have no experience being in long term relationships because insecurity is not something to just instantly go away then "everything's perfect", and while my GF fully accepts me and has no issues I'm the one who keeps coming back to that point and being the thorn in my own foot.

The thing is Kraftie and Allie I am speaking only about my own situation and experience and since my parents are really tall (5'10 mom and 6'2 dad) that just adds to it you guys know...

No every long term couple have such hanging insecurity, so not every one experienced Long term will understand what you are talking about.

I am a pragmatic person, so you have only 3 options:
- To work out religiously so you become significantly bigger in size.
- Or to break up and go for a petite woman.
- To ditch all these insecure ideas altogether.

You can't become taller, nor she can become shorter for you.

Is there any reason, besides her height, which would make you feel insecure?

I'm 5 foot 10 & a half & my girlfriend is an inch shorter than me. She's big & I'm overweight myself but not that much. I'm also pretty out of shape & never been really strong. I do not feel insecure about that. I do wish we were both in better shape thou for health reasons. I just started trying again thou.