Just a thought......

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OK. I'm sitting here watching Fox news. No, this thread is not about Fox news. As I was watching, all of the women looked quite attractive. Thinking about it, with all the makeup and haircare, it doesn't take a lot to make women look attractive. I thought about the men on Fox and the men I have been around this week and I have to say hardly any are attractive. My thought is, I believe in dating guys for a while to get to know them before any hanky panky and in doing this, I get to know their personality. Now if men wouldn't sleep with the women they went out with so quick and actually got to know their personality, would men end up still sleeping with them? My thought is "no". It takes a really good personality in a guy for me to be attracted to them, and it is usually something in their personality that makes me uninterested in them which means there is no hope for any relationship. Guys can do a lot of one night stands because they go by looks and sex requires no personality and most women can look pretty with makeup. I believe if men would not have sex with every woman who came along and waited for a time to really know the woman, I think men would have a lot less sex and a better chance to find a more fulfilling relationship.

I was thinking about this because I keep wondering how men can have sex with a bunch of women even if they are not attracted to them for a long term relationship. I really don't understand how a person can have sex like that and not be repulsed. If someone isn't attractive, the last thing I want is them touching me. Yuck.

Does this make sense or am I just rambling?

I'm tired of seeing both men and women complaining about their relationship problems that stem because of their personalities clashing and I think it is because a lot of people just go for looks.

Examples of this are my Ma: she married Pa for his looks. I've seen pictures and he was very good looking. He's got the personality of a rock and this is why their marriage has been on the rocks.

Second example : my brother used to go out with just blondes that treated him like sh!t. He married someone normal looking, a brunette and their personalities go great together.

I guess what I'm saying is people should date for awhile before sex and they may not have all the drama of unplanned pregnancies with people they don't get along with, or feel like they have to marry a person because (imo) sex pretty much seals the deal and changes a relationship. Does anyone understand what I'm saying?

I haven't been promiscuous for years (last time was about 1988 or so).

I guess it's the need for companionship, a biological need for sex, and the need to prove they are "viable men" which might drive some young men to have lots of sex with women.

In my experience, it's the women who didn't want a long-term relationship with me, rather than vice versa. I've had a couple of women even tell me that our encounter will be a one-night-stand, and that's it.

I think there are some women who seek adventure, and who sleep with some to many men. Though I think the percentage is probably lower than men who sleep with lots of women.

With very few exceptions, I REALLY liked the women I slept with. Probably more than they liked me. I'm not bitter because of this. It's just the way it is. I wanted to marry a woman who followed me home from work to have sex, only to find out that she just wanted to feel what "another man" other than her fiancé "felt like."

In other words, at least to some extent, it's a two-way street.

I think what happened this week is still bothering me A LOT and just reinforced my belief that you never really know anyone. This guy on the HOA board really had me fooled. He is a very good manipulator until you're are around him for a bit then his real personality shows through. He's been married several times and now I know why. That's the reason I don't want to marry anyone who has been married before. There is a reason they are divorced. I have never been scared that I was going to be hit by a man, but he was so much in my face that I can't seem to get over it. It scares me that someone could fool me like that. What if I was married to someone like that? I actually think he might do something to me. I'm worried.

I don't even know what happened.....do you have a thread on it?

I know what you mean: I've had people "change" on me as well.

You all are supposed to be civilized adults.

Whether the guy drinks too much or not is irrelevant. He's trying to bully you folks.

How do you decide things in your HOA? Hopefully, it's by secret ballot.

Nothing is secret, there are only 5 of us. He knows we can push things through without him. He knows he has controlled Mary in the past, but now that I'm on he knows he can't control her anymore. Me and Mary have been friends for 11 yrs now and think pretty much alike, but he thinks that I'm manipulating her away from him. He also has control issues and thinks he should control all the bids and the contractors when it is supposed to go through the management company with no secrets. He and I got into an argument over that too. He doesn't like me coming in and challenging everything and trying to get things all above board and the bylaws followed. We have contractors who have said they will not work with us because of certain board members bullying them - he's one of those board members. I guess you can say that I'm upsetting his applecart.

I was 21 years old, and she was 22.

She was having problems with the fiancé, and was thinking about leaving him.

I had been infatuated with her for quite a while.

Unfortunately, I developed a desire for her to be my wife, when all she wanted was a fling.

Such is life.

Bit of a rant, probably shouldn't read if you're easily offended.

People celebrate the 'sexual revolution' as some sort of liberation but to me it seems more of an embrace of hedonism and moral relativism rum amok, the 'oppressed' have deconstructed almost all social cohesion and pretty much all traditional models of behavior to fit their own self interests without any regard to how that might effect society. I believe strongly in slut shaming, being a 'slut' is not the moral equivalent to chastity & commitment nor should be encouraged. It's disgusting what is in the media today and what is being targeted towards the youth of this country, what are the morals that are being taught? It's a recipe for turmoil and a warning of imminent decline & eventual collapse of our civilization, this is not sustainable. It doesn't seem like people value the importance of the family any more, the black cloud that hovers above us should be no surprise. We are free to be valueless and miserable, how liberating 2017 is! With the rejection of traditional gender roles all the opposite sex can see in each other is sex, that is now what defines man and woman and everything in between.

Now this isn't a call for intolerance of the non-conforming as I would consider myself part of that population, being different doesn't mean you have to support the hedonist impulse of modern culture as some sort of positive progressive development. People worship government as if it is god and regulator of all good and evil, what type of morals do you think political religion instills in the people? People get so caught up in whether or not something is true or not but what is really important is the set of values it promotes and the society that grows from it. There must be a medium between where we are now and the 'oppression' of tradition, we have to be tolerant of others but that shouldn't mean we should be less virtuous.

Perhaps this is just the contrarian in me, maybe it's sour grapes, but I feel like most people on all sides are not any more happy with the culture they have created.

Where have I bought the thread Off-track?

I'm no unabashed hedonist. I never got onto the excesses of the "sexual revolution."

This is why Rome went down the tubes----because of unabashsed hedonism.