friends first?

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I've been out of the dating pool for a long time. How likely are men to go for "Let's just be friends first and see where it goes from there"?

I don't mind that sort of thing.

I feel that, sometimes, it works quite well.

I think it's better than two people feeling forced to have sex on the first date---that's for sure.

I don't know about your age group, but in mine "friendship" is code for "flirting" if you're meeting people online. The 20's and early 30's groups seems very afraid of commitment and conflict so they use it to keep things casual and easy to leave. Which makes it very awkward, actually.

I think it works fine if people go in with no expectations other than to go out and socialize.

Most men would respect a woman who "wants to be friends first."

Personally, it frustrates me. Every time a woman says that she wants to start as "just friends," that's like code for "I'll let you buy me dinner once, return a couple of your texts, and then you'll never hear from me again."

Yes, it could be that.

But if it's a true "friends first" situation, and it leads to "something more," that "something more" will be much more substantial than some fling on the first date.

I always find that they never make a move and then end up going out with someone else. If you like someone you've got to go for it or you'll lose them.

Friends first is always considered and a must. That how you build relationships over time. Casual flings, friends with benefits and that doesn't mean it going to be successful compared to a friendship and a relationship commitment. Its a peer pressuring society that make people mentally incapable.

Psychologists, counselors, family and friends always told me I need to be friends first. Though over the years I didn't understand why people doing casual and non-serious stuff whilst being single. Unfortunately it the way it is, and the more we doing this is the worse your futures.

Friends first, getting to know each others and find the vibes it comes naturally blended into a relationship. This is the strategy to develop long-term goals, hence marriage and kids. I find it so obvious someone getting married from a one-night stand scenario. its ridiculous!

I think flirty friendship first could be pretty good, how else do you get to know someone before dating them?

You see the problem with being friends first is that if you want a romantic relationship with her and you start off as being just friends, you don't know if she's interested in you or not in a romantic way. So what if your plan is to become friends with her, then ask her out in a year but she says she doesn't even like you back? There goes a year of your life wasted.

I mean don't get me wrong, it's good to be friends with someone first because you're establishing a connection and building up trust. But eventually, you're going to have to make a move and show interest that you want to be more than friends. Otherwise, you will be put in the friend-zone.


You don't want to ask a girl out immediately because then she'll reject you because she basically doesn't know you well enough.

A year is far too long to wait. If you're attracted to someone initially don't wait more than a couple of months.

Friends first usually applies to someone you hang out with or work with who you're not initially head over heels for, but as you get to know each other you draw closer and both realise there is an attraction there that you want to take further.

Two people can become lovers during the course of a evening.

It usually takes much more time and association for any two people to become friends.

Why can't she just say she wants to hang out first and see what happens?

Probably she assumes that all guys on dating sites expect sex on the first meet-up. If that's true, then I suspect those guys are pathetic losers (plus possibly a small number of players who are extremely adept at seduction an publicize their successes to the rest of the world).

If "being friends" is code for "not having sex with a total stranger" then I feel sorry for the current state of the English language.

I read a paper on the subject, will post it if I remember where I put it.

Millennials (20-30) seemed to prefer sex first, friends later. Based on apps like Tinder etc. Just like multiple booty calls and the likes.
Commitment seemed to be rare. Flirty friendships occurred most in the work place.

No idea about the ASD perspective nowdays.
I was all about casual sex in my 20's because I was obsessed with gathering sexual skills to compensate for the lack of the social ones.
But I also enjoy(ed) flirty friendships.
Those never grew to more if there was no sex. Sex can be a measurement of compatibility.

As a mature ASD woman I would be totally lost in today's dating culture. Unless sex was my goal.

Wasn't there like an ASD dating site?