The women who remain on many dating sites for too long...

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One thing that puzzles me a lot - are these same women you find on several dating apps and...you even find them active like years later - who don't seem to find "the one" even among the hundreds and maybe even thousands of the guys who message them

You may gonna tell me "well, you have been using them for the same period too".

Umm... no, it is unfair to compare a male to a female on dating sites: an average male gets replies much rarely and a date once in a blue moon - so please don't give me a crap lecture how it is the same thing; it is not; if you don't believe me ladies go create a male profile and see by yourselves.
Just to give you how different it is; - a woman in a single day on a dating app can get messages more than a brigade of 100 men's lifetimes.

Yes - it is that much; I am not exaggerating.
On tinder, an average looking woman can get dozens maybe even a hundred of matches in a single day- a number which I bet is equivalent to number of matches gotten by a whole army of average males.

So yeah; the difference is that colossal.

Anyway there is that woman X, of my age, an attractive teacher, whom I contacted via okcupid and dated once like 3-4 years ago (a single date that lasted a whole evening but later she kept making execuses of "busy" - the reason for that i think because she is taller than me).
I still recall how she told me she gets tons of messages every day - I recall she showed her inbox showing "149" glowing red back then. And I recall telling me how her intention is to find a compatible guy for a long term relationship and she complained how many guys want short term things.
I messaged her twice on seperate days after the date but she dodged with "convincing" excuses so I stopped and that was it.

Ever since I found her on almosy every dating app I tried: POF, local dating apps, umm... and tonight I found her on Tinder!
She seems never been in a long term relationship during all these 4 years because I continuously found her everywhere on these apps.

So here what is puzzling me:
Statistically; it is easy to assume that she got at least been contacted by hundreds and hundreds, probably even thousands of guys so far from all these apps she tried in total during these 4 years; a whole horde army of single men.... and yet she didn't find a good match for her among all of them?? What?? It is so statistically unlikely that all these hundreds of guys are so horrible to her taste and none wanting a long term and none was good enough enough for her to be her bf?? *What* is she? A goddess above humans with divine unhuman set of standards?
All these options during 4 years at her disposal yet she can't find one for her liking?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 27 Feb 2017, 6:49 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Lots of female profiles are fake. Maybe the fakers practice recycling?

I met this person in flesh and blood!

I mean let's assume that 90% of guys on dating sites are fuckboys; ok?
Even the remaining 10% of them are too many genuine interests; by far much more than any guy can dream to have in a lifetime.

Sorry. I missed that sentence. I have been on dating sites, but have not put much work into using them.

Maybe she likes dating, but doesn't like the expectation of sexual interest, so she refuses to date anyone who isn't interested in marriage. Like you say, she can afford to be as selective as she wants. Or, she might be lying to herself about what turns her on, and eliminating the men who would have a chance at catching her interest. Or, getting hundreds of messages about how interesting she seems and how sexy she looks seems preferable to hearing it rarely from one man.

^ it is normal to be selective.
But I believe those women who have been using *several* dating apps continously for years (=1000s of contacts, let alone the interests they get on facebook from acquaintances they know) have became somehow.... well...abnormally extremely selective.

Seems plausible.

Maybe she is trying to replace "the one that got away?"

Why don't you just ask her?

Keep in mind also that not everyone on a dating website is looking for a long term relationship. Some people like casual short term relationships, and dating is a thing for them.

maybe it's how she eats dinner lol

I am going to try to word this very carefully, as to not upset any apple carts, and since my mind is not really working well, this is difficult. I will try not to generalize here, but over the last ten years especially, romance novels, magazines, social media, movies, Television shows, and alike, have been telling women, that they need to set their standards to only accept a certain kind of man, the "Knite In Shining Armor" type. They will list all these attributes that they should look for, and what to watch for. There are all these articles with titles such as, "Ten kinds of men to stay away from" and "five things to avoid in a man", ETC. So some or more of the women who get caught into these traps, are basing their dating lives on these things. So, if one of the men fall in to one of those "Stay away from" catagories, she will now run. Or, if one of those men has just one of those, "Five qualities to avoid in a man." She will probably run. This is what I'm seeing from my observant perch anyway.

No; these are claiming to want marriage; this X woman in particular complained about the guys wanting short term things.

Having too many choices is as bad as having too few choices. I have no experience of having so many dating prospects, but I wouldn't be surprised that even with such success you still have to make compromises. Nobody is perfect.

I think you nailed it, these super-evolved extraterres....oops.....I mean these women certainly have developed some princess syndrome + "Mr. Flawless syndrome" I guess. They want to live a fairy tale.

I mean, an average male on a dating site, if lucky, can have at most 1 date per month at most - while an average female can have a date every day at least if she wants it, and easily every weekend.

So their pickiness has reached abnormal and unreasonable levels to the extent that it will be their doom relationship-wise, seriously, this woman X for example is 34 years old now, she wants to get married and she wants children, she is not getting any younger - she has has been searching serially (since 4 years at least) on several dating apps, and most probably rejecting/dismissing tons of of prospects on the way ..... but for how long she thinks she can take her time and keep doing that?? Does she think she's ageless and immortal?

Which these cheer numbers of prospects she would have certainly found not only good guys , but great guys too (regardless how many fuckboys out there, certainly there's at least 1 good guy to 10 fuckboys ratio...and I am being pessimistic). I recall very well she even told me so that she met great guys on okcupid (and I wanted to roll my eyes but I didn't)...... just pick one of them already and bond with him!
It is inexcusable really, she certainly can find someone who is a close to 80-90% match (looks, values and interests wise and all) among these huge numbers of men. She can't like one at least? Is her super-duper "Chemistry" that impossible to be triggered? How many more men she needs to finds before that happens? 10,000? A million of men?

You think women who got husbands from real life had prospects at their disposal more than women on dating apps? Not at all, most get married to either a coworker, to a friend, or to college colleague or to some active colleague and so on....so they bonded with a man they picked among a much smaller number of prospects, a normal social circle has much less number of single prospect men (certainly not in hundreds) than a numbers of prospects a female can get on a dating app.

Otherwise she is gonna die single in her quest for Mr. Perfect; at this rate she will reach 40+, her chances to have children will be so diminished and might remain single and lonely for life.

And btw, the funny thing is that most of those I dated via okcupid few years ago(which is the first dating app I ever used) are still active there as single , and still found on other dating apps. They're all good-looking and educated and I am sure they get tons of prospects on each app/site, even a female goat can have some interests on a dating app , yet they are probably all gonna age and die single, seriously. They're doomed to a single life, for life, by their own inhumanly and unreasonable pickiness.

It's because some people can only love a partner with certain characteristics. Plenty of members on WP.net said that they would rather stay single than change their preferences.

And these certain characteristics are super unique and extraterrestrial so they're totally "unfindable"?